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| Posted by Jwood on 14-Oct-2006 | trick-or-treatThere was a little boy and he was walking up the street and he saw three hookers and said,'Hey hoes get out my way,'.The hooker moved and they we talking about him after he left. He came back and the hookers said,' hi were tick-or-treat. Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Posted by lisa g on 14-Aug-2005 | sneaky gambler a lady walks into a bank to deposit $20,000. the president of
the bank says "if u don't mind me asking, where did you get all
of this money."the lady says"i gamble, i make bets". the banker
then asks "well what kind of bet would you make me?" the lady
says"i bet you $10,000 that this time next week your balls will
be square." the man says "my balls, square!? you've got a bet
ma'am."
for the next few days the banker checks himself everyday to be
sure that his balls weren't turning square. on the week from the
day he see's the woman walking down the street and checks
himself one last time and they were still round. well the woman
walks in with a man and the banker says "my balls are not square
i win the bet." the lady says "well if you don't mind i would
like to check myself i mean it is an awful lot of money."the man
says "i guess your right"and drops his pants and tells her to
feel them. the man the women walked in with starts to bang his
head against the wall. the banker says "what is wrong with your
friend"the women says "thats my accountant and i bet him $20,000
that today i would be holding the president of the bank by the
balls!"
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| Posted by Rachael n. Everson on 14-Aug-2005 | Wet fingersA man and his wife got into bed for the night.
The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband
put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading,
he stopped and reached over to his wife and
started fondling her pussy. He did this only for a very
short while then stopped and went back to reading his book.
The wife got up and started stripping in front of him.
The husband was confused and asked, "What the hell are doing,
taking all your jammies off?" The wife replied,
"You were playing with my pussy. I thought it was foreplay for
something a bit heavier".The husband said,
No! I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages.
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| Posted by kimberly on 14-Aug-2005 | Weight lossThere was this guy and he was really fat and he wanted to lose
weight really fast. so he was watching tv one day and this thing
came on and it said lose weight fast so he decides that it hes
tryed everthing else why not try this. so he goes to the place
and says i'll take the five dollar for five pounds special the
lady at the desk was like ok up the stairs the first door on the
left. he goes in the room and then the door shuts behind him and
it locks then a bed pops up with this really hot girl. she says
catch me u get to fuck me the guy was like ok so he eventually
cought her and he fucked her. after that he was like wow that
was great i feel lighter already. so he goes back down to the
desk and says i'll take the ten dollar for ten pounds special
the lady says up the second flight of stairs the third door to
the left. so he gets up there the same thing happens but this
time the bed popped up with really hot twins and they said catch
me and u get to fuck me and the guy was thinkin this cant be
real but he decides to do it and he catches them both and fucks
them both. he was like oh my god i feel ten pounds lighter. so
he goes back down to the desk and says to the lady i'll take the
fifteen dollar for as much weight as wanted and the lady was
like ok pal. up the third flight of stairs the black door all
the way at the end. the guy goes up there and he's really tired
but he goes in any way the same thing happens the door locks and
the bed popped up. but this time it was a gorilla that said if i
catch you i get to fuck you.
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| Posted by frank on 14-Aug-2005 | what happened?A man decides that he wants to become king of the world so he
goes to the wise man of their village. He asks the wise man "how
do i become the king of the world"? The wise man answers "if you
have sex with an eskimo and kill a polar bear then I will make
you king once you have come back". So the man goes out to try to
complete the task. Three weeks have passed and finally he comes
back. The wise man has never seen somebody such a mess he was
all bloody and cuts and bruises all over him. The wise man asks
"what happened to you"? He repplies "I did just what you told
me. I killed the eskimo and...
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| Posted by Skateboard Freak on 14-Aug-2005 | The Poor Man Who Slept Like A RabbitThere once was a poor man walking down the freeway when a farmer
had saw him. The poor man asked the farmer could he stay for the
night and the farmer agreed and told him he could stay in his
daughter's room. The farmer had asked the man not to touch his 3
daughters and the man said, " I will sleep like a rabbit during
the night". The next morning the poor man was on his way and the
farmer asked him how did he sleep and the poor man said he slept
like a rabbit. The farmer was so proud of his daughters that he
told another farmer about the poor man and how he slept like a
rabbit.
The other farmer said, " Goddamnit he got my daughters and me
the same way because rabbit's don't sleep, they go from hole to
hole during the night"
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| Posted by Mike Ashworth on 14-Aug-2005 | joke1.A 47 year-old lady gets a facelift. It turns out very well and
she enjoys showing off her new look. She goes to the newsstand
and asks the man, ''Sir, how old do you think I am''? The man
replies ''You're 30, right?'' She says ''No, I'm 47, but nice
try.'' The next day, she goes to McDonald's. She orders her
lunch and asks the young man at the counter, ''How old do you
think I am?'' The man replies, ''You're 37, right?'' The lady
says ''No, I'm 47, but good guess.'' After lunch, she gets on
the bus and she asks an 85-year-old man how old she is. He
replies ''Lady, I can tell how old any woman is by sticking my
hand down her panties.'' So, quietly and quickly, she lets him
do so. He thinks a moment and announces, ''You're 47!'' The
lady, astonished, asks, ''How did you know?'' The old man
replies ''I was standing right behind you at McDonald's.''
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| Posted by Destined_Soul on 14-Aug-2005 | It's No FairA husband and wife and their two sons are watching TV. She looks
at her husband and winks at him. He gets the message and says,
"Excuse us for a few minutes boys, we're going up to our room
for a little while."
Pretty soon one of the boys becomes curious, goes upstairs and
sees the door to his parents bedroom is ajar. He peeks in for a
few minutes, trots downstairs, gets his little brother and takes
him up to peek into the bedroom. "Before you look in there," he
says, "keep in mind this is the same woman who paddled our butts
just for sucking our thumbs."
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| Posted by Brynn Barraclough on 14-Aug-2005 | The CoffinThis guy died with an erection. It was to big for the mortician to put him
in a coffin, so the wife told the mortician to cut it off and shove it up
his ass. The next day at the funeral the wife saw a tear in her dead
husband's eye. She bent over and said, "I told you it hurts you fucking
bastard."
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| Posted by Daniel Chapman on 14-Aug-2005 | Poker gameLittle Johnny had become a real nuisance while his father tried
to concentrate on his Saturday afternoon poker game with friends
and relatives. His father tried every way possible to get Johnny
to occupy himself...television, ice cream, homework,
videogames...but the youngster insisted on running back and
forth behind the players and calling out the cards they held.
The other players became so annoyed that they threatened to quit
the game and all go home. At this point, the boy's uncle stood
up, took Johnny by the hand, and led him out of the room.
The uncle soon returned back to the poker table without Johnny,
and without comment the game resumed. For the rest of the
afternoon, little Johnny was nowhere to be seen and the card
players continued without any further interruptions. After the
poker game ended, the father asked Johnny's uncle, "What in the
world did you say to Johnny? I haven't heard a peep from him all
day!" "Not much," the boy's uncle replied. "I just showed him
how to masturbate."
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