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| Posted by Jeff J. Friesen on 14-Aug-2005 | zoe and kals dating tips contWhen you are going out together
1. Avoid at all costs comparing your current boyfriends faults
with your ex boyfriends good points.
2. (No offence to women) But women do have a tendency to nag,
men will always be the laid back ones who dont seem to give a
damn whether or not they see you often, whether they do or not
remains a mystery.
3. Avoid the green monster!!! (JEALOUSY!)
4. Dont nag. Discuss situations which have occured, either on
the phone or face to face, not txts or internet.
5. A texting relationship, is a dreadful relationship. This is
because everything is slang, eg I luv u? Spelt wrong, it just
dont have the same effect as when spelt properly or said with
true feeling.
6. Make sure you talk about sex issues when you feel ready for
it, dont leave things unsaid or you wont know where you stand
with each other.
7. Lads! Please try, make an effort, it doesnt exactly make a
girl feel too great when her boyfriend acts like he doesnt want
to spend quality time with her, eg time spent alone.
8. TALK SO YOUR GIRLFRIEND CAN ACTUALLY HEAR YOU!!!!!!!! (just
kidding, well it can get a ickle bit annoyin sometimes but also
sweet)
9. Give your girlfriend help when she is giving you sexual
favours, eg point out what you like best, this goes both ways
girls, were not all mind-readers you know!
10. Dont try to pressurise your boyfriend/girlfriend into doing
anything they are not sure about. It could ruin everything for
both of you. You may not think it girls, but this applies to you
too.
When the relationship has ended.
1. Do not be bitter, about anything. For example do not talk
about how your ex is small in particular departments and how
they cannot perform to certain standards.
2. Try not to check up where your ex is or who he/she is with
now.
3. Do NOT under ANY circumstances send letters, texts, emails or
anything of the sort telling your ex you still have feelings for
them. This is a VERY, VERY bad idea!!!!!
4. Second time round doesnt usually work out too great, think of
the reasons why you ended it in the first place!!! (in my case i
am trying to prove this wrong!!! It WILL work out better for me
and the current boyfriend this time round, the second, well i
bloody hope so anyway!!)
FINALLY BOTH OF YOU NEED TO TRY AND MAKE THINGS WORK. So good
luck to all of you in a relationship and we hope we have helped
you out with our youthful, but knowledgeable insight to the
world of teenage dating!!
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| Posted by josh baker on 14-Aug-2005 | WormsOne day a newly wed couple was on their honeymoon. The husband
didn't know she had worms. The problem was she farted in her
sleep. So in the middle of the night he always woke up with
worms covered in shit, crawling on him. He didn't know how they
got in the bed. So one night he set up a video camera to see how
they got in the bed. He saw something come out his wifes ass and
crawl out of her panties. He called his dad " Dad you were right
i shouldn't have married her so soon. She has shit oisters." He
laughed and said "well it must be a pain in her ass!"
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| Posted by Sucha Dog on 14-Aug-2005 | The Two Men There were once two men, Bob and Joe, who were debating on who
did the worst sin. Bob says, "I had an affaire with a hot
brunette with light blue eyes while my hot blond hair with dark
green eyed wife was at home." Joe laughed and said, "I had an
affaire with a hot blond hair with dark green eyes while my hot
brunette with light blue eyed wife was at home."
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| Posted by leelu on 14-Aug-2005 | Boy & His MomA boy told his mom, "I couldn't sleep last night so I went into
your room. Why were you jumping up and down on daddy?"
His mom said, "Well dear, I was pushing the air out of him."
The boy replied, "Oh then you're wasting your time. The lady
next door blows him back up every day."
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| Posted by Gone T. Postal on 14-Aug-2005 | Top 16 Worst Breakup Excuses16. Ow ... I banged my head! That really hurt! Hey...Who are you?
15. I'm sorry, but there just isn't room in my life right now
for you and my vibrator.
14. I've got this disease... It's called herpigonosyphalaids.
very contagious.
13. You're too young for me. I mean, too *old*. We're the same
age? Well, that doesn't work for me either.
12. We're just so different you and I. You're an extrovert, I'm
an introvert. I like classical, you like heavy metal. And of
course *I'm* not a physically repulsive psychopath.
11. You've gone from "sponge-worthy" to merely "spongy".
10. Dear Christine: By the time you read this, I will be a woman.
9. I have early-onset onanism.
8. You're no longer the wealthy, gullible, and desperately
lonely man I fell in love with.
7. My penis,uh, fell off, and I, er, lost it... yeah...on the
subway I think.
6. "Less filling? LESS FILLING??? I don't even know who you are
anymore.
5. My dog is having puppies and I need to take a year off in
order to train them to attack your picture.
4. It's not you, it's me. Specifically, me would like to sleep
with your sister.
3. I had lunch at the Hunan Palace today and according to the
place mat, you're a snake and I'm a mongoose.
2. We just don't have anything in common anymore -- you're a
morning person, and I want to see you're severed head impaled
on a steel railroad spike.
1. I'm holding you back from all the other lives you could be
ruining.
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| Posted by Pussy Licker on 10-Aug-2005 | Punishment for bigamy?Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
Two mothers-in-law.
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| Posted by Chuk Bonyata on 10-Aug-2005 | Father-in-law jokes and Mother-in-law jokesWith all these mother-in-law jokes, just where are the father-in-law jokes?
Nobody seems to know, but the lack of father-in-law jokes seems to indicate just
where the real, actual power rests in resolving family problems.
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| Posted by L'il Biatch on 13-Aug-2005 | Washclotheone day a little girl walks into the bathroom when her mother in in the shower when she looks at ehr mother she pionts to her pubic hair and said
GRIL: mommy whats that?
MOM: thats my washclothe
The next day the girl walks in again and notices that her mother had shaved and said
GiRL: mommy what happened to your washclothe?
MOM: i lost it
the next day the girl runns into her mothers room very happy and said
GIRL: mommy mommy i found your washclothe
MOM: really where
GIRL: aunt sally was washing daddys face with it
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| Posted by watkins900 on 13-Aug-2005 | Adultthere were to guys they were really drunk but one was drunker then the other. They decided to get them selfes some whores. So they went to the whore house and said I want two whores for me and my buddy here. The lady
said well I can give you one the others are either out with a customer or are sick , so you can have me but I also have blow up dolls. Hmm He thought for a minute and then said ok my buddy here is so drunk he will not even notice the differnce. So they took the ladys to the local hotel for the night. so the next day the met at the front of the hotel
and the guy who was alot more drunk akedthe not so drunk guy how was your night and he said it was pretty good. Then the not so drunk guy asked the really drunk guy how was your night he said it was good till she I bit her tit she let a fart and flew out the window.
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| Posted by Halli on 14-Aug-2005 | my first fuck in the woods Jemma is the best. The best out of all the people I know, the
best
of all the females i know, just simply the best.
We were on holiday, Janice, me and Jemma. We were out in our
small cosy caravan, one night when Janice was fast asleep in her
bed me and Jemma went outside into the woods to have some fun,
we thought it would be better outside incase Janice heard us and
disturbed us.
I rammed jemma hard up against a thick tree, i felt her lovely
soft, tender tits, and licked her wet pussy, she was as excited
as me. when i slowly moved up licking all her body, i shoved my
hard cock up her pussy, i could feel it was wet and warm inside,
i felt her pussy closing on my dick. it was a wonderful feeling.
i was still feeling her beautiful tits, even though they were
very small i still enjoyed every minuet of it. Then jemma pulled
away she walked off as if nothing had happened. i followed her
getting dressed as i walked.
As i said before Jemma is the best, the best i knew, the best
pet id ever had, the best dog EVER.
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