|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Charles Jupe on 14-Aug-2005 | hotelWhy are gay's the first ones out of the hotel in the morning?
because they get their shit packed the ngiht before.
|
1 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Brenda R. Dople on 14-Aug-2005 | Wood You Tell?Jack and Dan work together and are good friends while at work.
Outside of work they live different lives. One day, Jack and Dan
are in the breakroom relaxing and drinking coffee when Jack asks
Dan the following:
JACK: Hey Dan can I ask you a personal question?
DAN: It depends, how personal?
JACK: Not much. Just wondering if you keep any secrets from your
wife?
DAN: Oh no. I tell my wife everything.
JACK: Really. Then let me ask you this. If you went camping in
the woods. You got all drunk and passed out, and in the morning
you woke up with scrapes all on your knees and hands. And coming
out of your ass was a used condom! Would you tell your wife that?
DAN YELLS: Hell no!
JACK: Okay! (Pauses a few seconds) Hey Dan, Wanna go camping?
|
1 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Recai Yalgin on 14-Aug-2005 | My son's more successful than yours.Four men got together to play golf one sunny morning. As they
were heading out to the course, one of them was detained by a
phone call.
The other three were discussing their children while walking to
the first tee.
"My son," said one proudly, "has made quite a name for himself
in the home building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now
owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful,
in fact in the last year he was able to give a good friend a
brand new home as a gift."
The second man, not to be outdone, boasts how his son began his
career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership.
"He's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave a
friend two brand new cars as a gift."
The third man brags that his son has worked his way up through a
stock brokerage firm, and has become so successful that in the
last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio
as a gift.
As the fourth man arrives at the tee box, the three smugly tell
him that they have been discussing how successful their progeny
are, and ask what line of work his son is in.
"To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased how my son has turned
out," he replies. "For fifteen years, he's been a hairdresser,
and I've just recently discovered he's gay."
As the other three recoil in horror, he continues, "but on the
bright side, he must be good at what he does, because his last
three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two new cars,
and a big stock portfolio."
|
3 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by skitzo frenic on 14-Aug-2005 | The Lesbian at the BarA guy walks into a bar and he sees a realy hot girl sitting on
the other end. So he tells the bartender to buy her a drink. The
bartender says "I don't know if you want to do that because she
is a lesbian." The guy says, "I don't care. Buy her one anyway."
So the lady accepts the drink and tells the guy to come over and
she says, "Do you wanna see some ass?" She bends over and shows
him her ass.
After a while he tells the bartender to buy her another drink.
She accepts it and calls him over and says, "Do you wanna see
some tits" And she flashes him.
A little while later the girl goes to the bathroom. The guy
tells the bartender to buy her another drink before she comes
back. She gets back, sees the drink, and says "Another drink!"
So again she calls him over and says, "Do you wanna smell some
pussy?" And breathes in his face.
|
2 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Alisha Cook on 14-Aug-2005 | Gay Guy at the barThere once was a gay guy that was very desperate for some good
loving. He had just gotten dumped by an amazing guy. He had a
very long, hard day so he decided to go to a bar and have a few
drinks.He went to the bar, had a drink and sat down. In came two
guys who had just came from a long game of tennis. One of the
guys said to the bartender"Oh my god! I am so thirsty. I would
drink the sweat off of a cows balls." suddenly the guy runs up
to the tennis player and yells "moomooomoomooo!"
|
2 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by weirdgirl27 on 14-Aug-2005 | Bar FootballOne day a man was dumped by his girlfriend and goes to a bar. He
sits down and orders a beer. He turns to his left and sees a gay
guy smiling at him. The gay guy asks him if he would play "Bar
Football" with him. The man was very drunk and says, "What the
hell, how do you play?" The gay guy says, "What you do is take a
beer and chug it down without stopping, that's 6 pionts. Then
for the extra piont you must pull your pants down and lay a big
fart."
The gay guy takes his beer and chugs it down, pulls down his
pants and lays a high piched fart. The gay guy says, "Your
turn!". The man takes his beer and chugs it down. The gay guy
says "6 pionts!" As the man pulls his pants down the gay guy
whips his penis out and sticks it up the man's ass and starts
screaming, "Block that kick, block that kick!!!"
|
2 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Kara on 14-Aug-2005 | pheadophile out of prisonWhat did the pheadophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again
|
2 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Julie Cooper on 14-Aug-2005 | Bush HogWhat do you call a lesbian with ten girlfriends?
A Bush Hog.
|
1 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by coucool slim (moe dog) on 14-Aug-2005 | Little ManA guy walked into a bathroom and started pissing He looked over
and saw a really little man taking a piss. The guy looked over
at him and said, "Hello." The little man said, "Hi, I'm a
leprechaun!" The guy was amazed. The leprechaun said "I like
you. I am going to grant you 3 wishes."
The guy was skeptical but he decided to go along with it. The
guy said, "Okay, I want a big house." The leprechaun said, "When
you return home, you will have a huge mansion!"
The guy said, "And then I want a beautiful woman for my own."
The leprechaun said, "I will give you a woman so wonderful you
will never look at anyone else."
The guy didn't know what to wish for 3rd. He looked over and saw
the size of this leprechaun's dick. It was huge. He said "Okay,
my third wish is to have a big dick as big as yours." The
leprechaun said, "I'll give it to you if you let me screw you up
the butt." The guy didn't want to, but he really wanted a big
dick. So the two were tearing it up! All the sudden the guy
yelled out, "I can't believe I'm letting a leprechaun screw me
up the butt!" Then the leprechaun said, "I can't believe you
think I am a leprechaun."
|
3 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by daniel baier on 14-Aug-2005 | Gay partyHow do you knwo if your at a gay party?
The hotdogs taste like shit.
|
4 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
