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| Posted by Big Head Bill on 14-Aug-2005 | Dildo PatchTwo gay guys are in a bathroom using the urinals. The one guy
looks at the other guy's penis and notices there's a Nicoderm
patch on it. He turns to the guy and says, "I believe you're
supposed to put that patch on your arm or shoulder, not your
penis." The other guy replies, "It's working just fine. I'm down
to 2 butts a day."
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| Posted by xai chang birasco on 14-Aug-2005 | Gay SpermsWhat did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm?
"How am I supposed to find an egg in all this SHIT!"
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| Posted by Ryan D. Bloom on 14-Aug-2005 | Moo MooA guy walks in a gay bar even though he is not gay. He is just
thirsty.
He goes up to the bar and says I want a water please. The
bartender asked, "are you gay?" The guy said no. The bartender
said, "If you ain't gay you cant get nothing to drink here."
The guy said, "Come on man! I am so thisty I could lick the
sweat off a cows balls!" Then a guy in the corner said, "Moo moo
big boy."
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| Posted by weirdgirl27 on 14-Aug-2005 | The RaceIf a gay and a lesbian have a race from kentucky to california
who would win?
The lesbian because she goes lickity-split.
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| Posted by Ashton Kutcher on 14-Aug-2005 | TradersWhat do you call two Indian lesbians?
Fur Traders!
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| Posted by Adam P. Lafrance on 14-Aug-2005 | Three Wishes Each for a Bear and a RabbitOne day in the great forest a magical frog was walking down to a
water hole. This forest was so big that the frog had never seen
another animal in all his life. By chance today a bear was
chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner.
The frog called for the two to stop. The frog said, "Because you
are the only two animals I have seen, I will grant you both
three wishes. Bear, you go first." The bear thought for a
minute, and being the male he was, said, "I wish for all the
bears in this forest, besides me, to be female."
For his wish, the rabbit asked for a crash helmet, and
immediately put it on. The bear was amazed at the stupidity of
the rabbit, wasting his wish like that.
It was the bear's second turn for a wish. "Well, I wish that all
the bears in the next forest were female as well."
The rabbit asked for a motorcycle and immediately hopped on it
and gunned the engine. The bear was shocked that the rabbit was
asking for these stupid things, after all, he could have asked
for money and bought the motorcycle.
For the last wish the bear thought for awhile and then said, "I
wish that all the bears in the world, besides me, were female."
The rabbit grinned, gunned the engine, and said, "I wish that
the bear was gay."
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| Posted by coucool slim (moe dog) on 14-Aug-2005 | Three Gay Men's AshesThree gay men died and went to heaven. At the pearly gate St.
Peter said, "You have all three requested to be cremated. What
would you like done with your ashes?"
The first man said, "My boyfriend liked to skydive so I want
mine dumped out a plane."
The second man said, "My boyfriend liked to scubadive so I want
mine dumped off a boat."
The third man said, "My boyfriend liked to have sex so I want
mine dumped in a bowl of chili so I can tear his butt up one
last time."
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| Posted by Noppong Suwanvet on 14-Aug-2005 | Perfect manThe perfect man is gentle
Never cruel or mean
He has a beautiful smile
And keeps his face so clean.
The perfect man likes children
And will raise them by your side
He will be a good father
As well as a good husband to his bride.
The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning and vacuuming too
He'll do anything in his power
To convey his feelings of love on to you.
The perfect man is sweet
Writing poetry from your name
He's a best friend to your mother
And kisses away your pain.
He never has made you cry
Or hurt you in any way
To hell with this endless poem
The perfect man is gay.
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| Posted by andrew j. gregg on 14-Aug-2005 | Hot DogTwo college buddies wanted to go drinking one Saturday night.
Having only 50 cents between them they devised a plan to get
free drinks all night.
They went to a vendor at the corner and ordered a plain hot dog
no bun. One of the guys then placed the hotdog in the front of
his jeans. They proceeded to the first bar.
Not wanting to push their luck they kept the tab fairly low and
when the bartender asked for payment the two gentlemen looked at
each other and one guy opened his zipper and let the hotdog
protrude while the other got on his knees and placed his mouth
on it.
Disgusted with this scene the bartender threw the two out. This
went on for about 5 bars when one guy looked at the other and
said he was tired of getting on his knees, "Let me have the
hotdog in the next bar."
The first guy shrugged the guy off and said, "Oh shoot, I got
rid of that thing 3 bars back...."
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| Posted by Gelfling on 14-Aug-2005 | You Know You're in San Francisco When...You know you're in San Francisco when.....
Your co-worker tells you they have 8 body piercings but none are
visible.
When someone says TENDERLOIN- you don't think of steak. You
think of danger.
You make over $100,000 and still can't afford a house.
You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a
conversation in English.
You never bother looking at the MUNI line schedule because you
know the drivers have never seen it.
You can't remember....is pot illegal?
You've been to more than one baby shower that has two mothers
and a sperm donor.
You have a very strong opinion where your coffee beans are grown
and can taste the difference between Sumatra and Ethiopian.
A really great parking space can move you to tears.
You know that anyone wearing shorts in April is just visiting
from Ohio.
You assume every company offers domestic partner benefits. Your
child's 3rd grade teacher has two pierced ears, a nose ring and
is named "Breeze." And, after telling that to a friend, they
still need to ask if the teacher is male or female.
You are thinking of taking an adult class but you can't decide
between yoga, aromatherapy, conversational mandarin or a
building your web site class.
You haven't been to Fisherman's Wharf since the first month you
moved to SF and you couldn't figure out how to drive to Coit
Tower if your life depended on it.
A man walks on MUNI in full leather regalia and crotchless
chaps. You don't notice.
A woman walks on MUNI with live poultry. You don't notice.
You think any guy with a George Clooney haircut must be visiting
from the midwest.
You know that any woman with a George Clooney haircut is not a
tourist.
You keep a list of companies to boycott.
Your hairdresser is gay, your plumber is gay, the woman who
delivers your mail is straight and your Mary Kay Lady is a guy
in drag.
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