This man is sitting in a bar and notices two...

The bartender replies, "It won't do you any good."

The man, with a confused look on his face says, "It doesn't matter, I want to buy those women a drink."

The bartender delivers the drinks to the ladies and the ladies acknowledge the drink with a nod of their heads. About a half-hour later, the man approaches the women and says, "I'd like to buy you two another drink."

The women both reply, "It won't do you any good."

The man says, "I don't understand. What do you mean it won't do me any good?"

The first lady says, "We're lesbians."

The man replies, "Lesbians? What are lesbians?"

The second woman replies, "Lesbians... We like to lick pussys."

The man says, "Bartender, three beers for us lesbians."

Flats for sex

This bloke is standing by the bedside of his...

One of the docters quietly comes up behind him and says "I know this is a bad time for you, but we need to know what you want done with the body, you know buried, cremated?"

The chap thinks for a while, crying quietly, and finaly says "I'd like him curried please"

"Curried!" all the docters say in unision "Why?"

"I want to feel him slide out of my ass one more time!"

A ventriloquist was driving in the country...

Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench...

First old lady has a stroke.

Second old lady has a stroke.

Third old lady couldn't reach.

What do gay termites eat?...

Wood Peckers.

A man walks past an outhouse and hears someone...

So he walks inside the outhouse and hears the call again, "HELP, HELP!" Then he looks into the hole and sees an indian there. The man said to the indian, "How long have you been down there?"

The reply was, "Many moons have passed by.

One day a lady went to the doctors' office...

So the doctor went into the back of the shop and got a bottle of 100 pills. He told her that "if you give your husband one of these pills then he would have sex with you."

So she bought the pills and took them home. She put one in his dinner and he ate it. They had sex till midnight. The next day she thought it was so good that she wanted some more. so she put two in his dinner and they had sex till twelve noon the next day. She thought it was so good that she put all of the pills in his dinner and he ate it.

Three weeks later a little kid was outside screaming and a guy walked up to him and asked him what was wrong the little kid said, "My mom is dead, my sister is pregnent, my asshole hurts and my dad is in there on the floor saying, here kitty kitty kitty"

Why do women like hunters?...

1. They go deep into the bush
2. They always shoot twice
3. They always eat what they shoot

What do you get when you cross a rooster and...

A 40ft cock that wants to reach out and touch someone.