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| Posted by BILLY B. PLOTTER on 09-Aug-2005 | Join the ArmyA young man joined the Army and signed up to be a paratrooper. After weeks of training the young got to jump out of his first plane. The man watched people ahead of him go and when it was his turn to jump he got scared and sat back down. The troop leader said to the young man, "IF YOU DON''T JUMP OUT OF THIS PLANE I'LL STICK MY DICK UP YOUR ASS!"
A few weeks later the young man returned home and told his father what happened and he said, "did you jump?"
The boy said, "A little at first!"
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| Posted by laken thompson on 09-Aug-2005 | StuckHenry's wife comes home to find him shagging the dog in the front room.
"My God, Henry," she screams, "I know you've had other women but this time you've gone too far!"
"You may be right," he says, "I think I'm stuck."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by yisman
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| Posted by Tom E. McGinty on 09-Aug-2005 | Two tall treesTwo tall trees, a Birch and a Beech, are growing in the woods.
A small tree begins to grow between them.
The Beech says to the Birch, '' is that a son of a Beech or a son of a Birch? ''
The Birch says he cannot tell.
Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.
The Birch says, '' Woodpecker -- you have the reputation of being a tree expert, can you tell us if that is a son of a Beech or a son of a Birch?''
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He then replies, '' It is neither a son of a Beech nor a son of a Birch.
That, my friends, is the best piece of Ash I have ever put my pecker in.
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| Posted by NoraLora on 07-Aug-2005 | Then there was the little girl who hung around...Then there was the little girl who hung around the boys Frisbee team at school.
Anytime the Frisbee would get stuck in a tree, she would climb up the tree
and retrieve it.
That evening, her mom asked her what she had done in school, "I had lots of
fun", she said, "Everytime the Frisbee got stuck in a tree, I climbed up
to get it."
Her mom was shocked. "Don't do that anymore!" she warned, "The boys
throw the Frisbee into the trees so they can see your underware when you
climb."
The next day, the mom again asked how school had gone.
The little girl said "I had fun again. I hung around the team, and
climbed the trees when the Frisbees got stuck. But don't worry, I didn't
want the boys to see my underware, so I didn't wear any!"
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| Posted by North American on 07-Aug-2005 | Never lie down with a woman who's got more...Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
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| Posted by Jennifer Tanko on 07-Aug-2005 | Never argue with a women when she's tired...Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
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| Posted by Nol T. Johnson on 13-Aug-2005 | Talkative Kidone day a kid steps on a bus and sits near the bus driver the kid kept saying stuff like if my mom was a elephant and my dad was a daddy elephant i would be a baby elephant and he kept saying that using different animals finally the bus driver said what if your mom was a prostitute and your dad was gay and the boy said then i would be a bus driver
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| Posted by Plumbum on 07-Aug-2005 | A man and his girlfriend finally decided to...A man and his girlfriend finally decided to get married. They were especially
nervous about their wedding night, because neither of them had ever made
love before.
While at the altar the man whispered to his bride, "I'm
really nervous about tonight. There's something I have to tell you, and
you're going to be upset."
The bride smiled and assured him, "I love you. Whatever it is, we'll work
it out."
So he whisperd, "I'm hung like a baby."
Again she smiles and tells him it will be fine.
So when they get to the hotel room that night, the man reluctantly strips
and turns to face his wife. She takes one look at him and faints dead
away. In a panic he revives her and says, "I told you I was hung like a
baby! 8 pounds, 9 ounces, and 22 inches."
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