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| Posted by Tim Smith on 12-Aug-2005 | The man with no handsthere is a man at a restaurant with no arms, and he has to go pee really bad. So he goes in the restroom and asks a guy to help him get it out, the man replies "sure i will help you". He takes it out for him and looks at it, he sees all these scabs and warts all over it, the man ask him if he could aim it for him in the toilet, so he does, after he puts it away and as they are walking out he says "hey how did it get like that?" The other man replies "i dont know but i dont want to touch it" (and pulls out his arms from within his shirt).THE END!
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| Posted by steven d. schnuelle on 14-Aug-2005 | PeriodsWhat's the difference between 3 golf balls and a period?
You can't gargle 3 golf balls!!!
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| Posted by Jeff Melson on 14-Aug-2005 | Long DicksThree guys are on top of the Empire State Building and they are bragging
about how big their dicks are. They finally decide to compare them by
dangling them off the roof.
The first guy pulls his dong out and hangs it over the side and it dangles
down to the 20th floor.
The second guy pulls his hog out and lets it fly over the side of the roof
and it goes down to the 10th floor.
Then the third guy whips his schlong out and lets it fly. He then starts
shaking his body wildly. The first guy asks the third guy, "What are you
doing?" The third guy replies, "I'm dodging cars!"
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| Posted by luvlygirl on 14-Aug-2005 | Didn't Order a HotdogTwo gentlemen are driving down the interstate and decide to stop
at a Truck Stop for dinner. They sit at the counter and when the
waitress arrives, both gentlemen order hamburgers.
The waitress promptly goes to the freezer, pulls out two
patties, and places one each under each arm. When asked what the
hell is going on, she calmly explains that they have no way to
defrost the patties since the microwave is broken.
One man says to the other, "Boy, I'm sure glad I didn't order a
hotdog."
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| Posted by hiyayaywhopee on 14-Aug-2005 | Need to Go to the BathroomOne day I was wating for my train at a train station. All of the
sudden I had a real urge to take a crap. So, I was about to go
to the bathroom when the train came.
On the train I sat next to a really hot guy. He started talking
to me so I didn't go to the bathroom. Then he invited me to go
over his house. I had to say yes.
Once inside his house I gasped, it was HUGE! Then he said he had
to change. Finally, I had a chance to go crap. I looked and
looked for a bathroom but I couldn't find it. Then I turned
around and saw that there was a bathroom about 10 feet away!
I felt so week but I walked and walked to bathroom. When I was 3
feet away from it I saw a dog. It was a big dalmatian showing
off it's fangs. I could't reach the bathroom, so I had to thing
of another idea.
That's when I got the perfect idea! I decided to crap on the
floor and the guy would think the dog did it. So that's exactly
what I did.
2 minutes later the guy came back. He asked me what smelled. I
said that I didn't know (although I did) So we looked around to
see what smelled. We passed the hallway that the dog was by. So
I said "Look! Your dog pooped! That's what smells!" He looked at
me strangely. "That can't be!" "Why?" I asked. "That's a stuffed
animal..." he replied.
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| Posted by Pat Mcgroyne on 14-Aug-2005 | Useless ThingsDid you know that a man is made up of many useless things?
He has
an Adam's Apple that isn't an apple...
Two Calves that will never become cows...
A Nose Bridge that doesn't lead anywhere...
A Roof of the Mouth that won't cover anything...
Twenty Nails that won't hold a board...
A Chest that won't hold linen...
Two Tits that won't give milk...
Two Buns that won't feed anyone...
A Belly button that won't button...
Two Balls that won't roll...
An Ass that won't pull a plow...
An Organ that won't play music...
A Cock that won't crow...
And what are YOU laughing about?
You've got a PUSSY that won't catch mice?
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| Posted by JenReo on 14-Aug-2005 | Horse & ChickenA horse and chicken were playing near a pit when the horse falls
in. The Horse says, "Help, Help, go get the farmer!" The chicken
says, "I've got a better idea." So the chicken goes and gets the
truck and pulls out the horse.
The next day the horse and chicken were playing by the pit and
this time, the chicken falls in and says, "Help, Help go get he
truck!" The horse says, "Now I've got a better idea. Grab my
dick and I'll pull you out." So the chicken grabs hold of the
horse's dick and the horse pulls out the chicken.
The moral of the store is if the have a big dick you don't need
a truck to pick up chicks!
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| Posted by Sara Bernabeo on 12-Aug-2005 | Womens BoobsQ. Why do women have boobs?
A. So we have something to look at while we are talking to them!!!
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| Posted by Meg B on 12-Aug-2005 | Mommy whats thatThis little girl had a nightmare she goes into her moms room and says mommy can i take a shower with you and her mom said sure but dont look down but she looked down and said mommy what is that that is my bush.
the next night she took a shower with her dad and here dad said do not look down so she looked down and said daddy what is that that is my snake.
so the next night she open the door and asked mommy can i sleep with you sure dont look under the covers she did and she said daddy your snake is in mommy bush.
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| Posted by Nicki on 14-Aug-2005 | Walking while PregnantThere is a room full of pregnant women and their partners, and
the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching
the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men
how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you.
Walking is especially beneficial. And gentlemen, it wouldn't
hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner." The
room got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised
his hand.
"Yes?" replied the teacher.
"Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk????"
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