|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by BabyLissa on 14-Aug-2005 | Tattoos of Mike Tyson and Riddick BoweOne day a lady walked into a tattoo parlor and asked the tattoo
artist, "Are you good?" He replies, "But of course!" She said,
"I need a tattoo of Mike Tyson on my left inner thigh and a
tattoo of Riddick Bowe on my right inner thigh. But I won't pay
if they don't look like them." The tattoo artist agreed to the
condition. She undressed and he started the tattoos.
After he finished the tattoos, she said, "Let's ask the next
person who walks in whether they look like Mike Tyson and
Riddick Bowe." A little while later a man walks in. She spread
her legs and asked the man, "Do they look like Mike Tyson and
Riddick Bowe?" The man replied, "I don't know, but that son of a
bitch in the middle sure looks like Don King."
|
2 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Ktkat Yong on 12-Aug-2005 | SkiingThere were three men hiking in the mountains and they came upon a cabin. They decided to stay there for the night because it was getting late and it was cold. It was really cold that they all decided to slept in the same bed.
The next day they all woke up and the man to the left said, \"Man I had the weirdest dream, i dreamed that i was getting hand job.\" The guy on the far right said that he also had that same dream. And then the man in the middle said, \"That\'s weird I had a great dream, I dreamed that I was skiing\".
|
2 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by The Man on 14-Aug-2005 | BB'sOne day, a womans's 3 son's get sick, soshe takes them to the
doctor. So the doctor examines them, and he perscribes the
vitamin iron, and then they will be in perfect condition. So the
woman agrees and goes to the store. When she's at the store, she
asks a girl that works there, where she can fin iron, the girl
inoccently tells her, that they sell bb's for bb guns, which are
iron. So the woman say's "perfect give me ten boxes". About a
week later, her youngest son comes running yelling "Mom, mom,
mom, I'm pissing bb's!" "oh don't worry, I just put some bb's in
your food" said the mother, so the little boy goes off confused.
Like an hour later, her middle son comes yelling, "mom, mom,mom,
I'm shiting bb's," and she tells him the same thing she told the
other one. So like two hours like her oldes comes yelling
frantically "Mom, Mom, Mom!", the mother says "What your pissing
bb's" and her son said "NO, I WAS JACKING OFF AND I SHOT THE
DOG!!"
|
3 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by maddog on 14-Aug-2005 | Running Shoes2 men went hiking. They set the tent up when all of a sudden a
bear jumped out. Frightened,the men started to run. The first
man stopped to take his running shoes out. The other guy said
what are you doing you cant outrun a bear! The man said all i
need to outrun is you.
|
1 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Tim Smith on 12-Aug-2005 | The man with no handsthere is a man at a restaurant with no arms, and he has to go pee really bad. So he goes in the restroom and asks a guy to help him get it out, the man replies "sure i will help you". He takes it out for him and looks at it, he sees all these scabs and warts all over it, the man ask him if he could aim it for him in the toilet, so he does, after he puts it away and as they are walking out he says "hey how did it get like that?" The other man replies "i dont know but i dont want to touch it" (and pulls out his arms from within his shirt).THE END!
|
2 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by steven d. schnuelle on 14-Aug-2005 | PeriodsWhat's the difference between 3 golf balls and a period?
You can't gargle 3 golf balls!!!
|
2 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Jeff Melson on 14-Aug-2005 | Long DicksThree guys are on top of the Empire State Building and they are bragging
about how big their dicks are. They finally decide to compare them by
dangling them off the roof.
The first guy pulls his dong out and hangs it over the side and it dangles
down to the 20th floor.
The second guy pulls his hog out and lets it fly over the side of the roof
and it goes down to the 10th floor.
Then the third guy whips his schlong out and lets it fly. He then starts
shaking his body wildly. The first guy asks the third guy, "What are you
doing?" The third guy replies, "I'm dodging cars!"
|
2 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by luvlygirl on 14-Aug-2005 | Didn't Order a HotdogTwo gentlemen are driving down the interstate and decide to stop
at a Truck Stop for dinner. They sit at the counter and when the
waitress arrives, both gentlemen order hamburgers.
The waitress promptly goes to the freezer, pulls out two
patties, and places one each under each arm. When asked what the
hell is going on, she calmly explains that they have no way to
defrost the patties since the microwave is broken.
One man says to the other, "Boy, I'm sure glad I didn't order a
hotdog."
|
1 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by hiyayaywhopee on 14-Aug-2005 | Need to Go to the BathroomOne day I was wating for my train at a train station. All of the
sudden I had a real urge to take a crap. So, I was about to go
to the bathroom when the train came.
On the train I sat next to a really hot guy. He started talking
to me so I didn't go to the bathroom. Then he invited me to go
over his house. I had to say yes.
Once inside his house I gasped, it was HUGE! Then he said he had
to change. Finally, I had a chance to go crap. I looked and
looked for a bathroom but I couldn't find it. Then I turned
around and saw that there was a bathroom about 10 feet away!
I felt so week but I walked and walked to bathroom. When I was 3
feet away from it I saw a dog. It was a big dalmatian showing
off it's fangs. I could't reach the bathroom, so I had to thing
of another idea.
That's when I got the perfect idea! I decided to crap on the
floor and the guy would think the dog did it. So that's exactly
what I did.
2 minutes later the guy came back. He asked me what smelled. I
said that I didn't know (although I did) So we looked around to
see what smelled. We passed the hallway that the dog was by. So
I said "Look! Your dog pooped! That's what smells!" He looked at
me strangely. "That can't be!" "Why?" I asked. "That's a stuffed
animal..." he replied.
|
1 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Pat Mcgroyne on 14-Aug-2005 | Useless ThingsDid you know that a man is made up of many useless things?
He has
an Adam's Apple that isn't an apple...
Two Calves that will never become cows...
A Nose Bridge that doesn't lead anywhere...
A Roof of the Mouth that won't cover anything...
Twenty Nails that won't hold a board...
A Chest that won't hold linen...
Two Tits that won't give milk...
Two Buns that won't feed anyone...
A Belly button that won't button...
Two Balls that won't roll...
An Ass that won't pull a plow...
An Organ that won't play music...
A Cock that won't crow...
And what are YOU laughing about?
You've got a PUSSY that won't catch mice?
|
1 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
