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| Posted by JenReo on 14-Aug-2005 | Horse & ChickenA horse and chicken were playing near a pit when the horse falls
in. The Horse says, "Help, Help, go get the farmer!" The chicken
says, "I've got a better idea." So the chicken goes and gets the
truck and pulls out the horse.
The next day the horse and chicken were playing by the pit and
this time, the chicken falls in and says, "Help, Help go get he
truck!" The horse says, "Now I've got a better idea. Grab my
dick and I'll pull you out." So the chicken grabs hold of the
horse's dick and the horse pulls out the chicken.
The moral of the store is if the have a big dick you don't need
a truck to pick up chicks!
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| Posted by Sara Bernabeo on 12-Aug-2005 | Womens BoobsQ. Why do women have boobs?
A. So we have something to look at while we are talking to them!!!
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| Posted by Meg B on 12-Aug-2005 | Mommy whats thatThis little girl had a nightmare she goes into her moms room and says mommy can i take a shower with you and her mom said sure but dont look down but she looked down and said mommy what is that that is my bush.
the next night she took a shower with her dad and here dad said do not look down so she looked down and said daddy what is that that is my snake.
so the next night she open the door and asked mommy can i sleep with you sure dont look under the covers she did and she said daddy your snake is in mommy bush.
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| Posted by Nicki on 14-Aug-2005 | Walking while PregnantThere is a room full of pregnant women and their partners, and
the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching
the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men
how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you.
Walking is especially beneficial. And gentlemen, it wouldn't
hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner." The
room got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised
his hand.
"Yes?" replied the teacher.
"Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk????"
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| Posted by Joe F. Cool on 14-Aug-2005 | Constipated OwlsWhat's the difference between a constipated owl and a bad
marksman?
One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't shit!
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| Posted by Will Greer on 12-Aug-2005 | Womens BoobsQ. Why do women have boobs?
A. So men have something to look at while they are talking to them.
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| Posted by Brad Smoley on 14-Aug-2005 | AirplaneOne day a man and a women were sitting beside each other on an
airplane. Now this man kept sneezzing over and over again. But
everytime he would sneeze he would groan or grunt like it was
pleasuring him. The women sitting beside him said, "You poor
man! What's wrong with you?" The man told the women, that
everytime he sneezed he would have an orgasium. The women felt
so sorry for him, so she asked him what he was taking for it?
The man said, "Black pepper."
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| Posted by I B. Insane on 14-Aug-2005 | You got crabsMy version of ( I got friends in low places )
Oh, you got crabs in low places
where the doche juice runs and the queer chases
your crabs away...
oh.. you'll be ok...
Oh you got full off of tuna fish,
and just biting those places that seem to itch
oh you got crabs... in low places
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| Posted by flameb0y on 14-Aug-2005 | Guys you'll find in the restroomWe've all come across some of these guys before. Unless you're a
girl, that is. Want to know the generic name for that odd guy
you saw 3 urinals down? Look no further.
1. Excitable: Shorts half-twisted around, cannot find hole, rips
shorts.
2. Sociable: Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not.
3. Cross-eyed: Looks into the next urinal to see how the other
guy is fixed.
4. Timid: Cannot piss if someone is watching, flushes urinal,
comes back later.
5. Indifferent: All urinals being used, pisses in sink.
6. Clever: No hands, fixes tie, looks around, usually pisses on
floor.
7. Worried: Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick
inspection.
8. Frivolous: Plays stream up, down and across urinal, tries to
hit flies and bugs.
9. Absent-minded: Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.
10. Childish: Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see
it bubble.
11. Sneaky: Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent,
knows man in other stall will be blamed.
12. Patient: Stands very close for a long time, reads with free
hand.
13. Desperate: Waits in long line, teeth grinding, pisses in
pants.
14. Tough: Bangs dick on side of urinal to dry.
15. Efficient: Waits until he has to crap and does both.
16. Fat: Backs up and takes a blind shot at urinal, pisses in
shower.
17. Little: Stands on box, falls in, drowns.
18. Drunk: Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants.
19. Disgruntled: Stands for a while, gives up, walks away.
20. Conceited: Holds two-inch dick like baseball bat.
21. Confused: Is actually a woman who wandered in by mistake.
22. Show-off: Stands as far back as he can, challenges other
guys to distance contests.
23. Horny: Stands close, masturbates, ejaculates in urinal.
24. Kinky: Brings girlfriend/wife in, has sex in the urinal.
25. Eye-Catcher: Cross dresser walks in.
26. Newbie: Asks for help.
27. Meek: Takes a toilet stall for the sole purpose of pissing.
28. Comparative: Looks at his own penis, then at his neighbor's,
wishes he was the other guy.
29. Chronic diarrhea: Can't wait for a toilet stall to open up,
takes a dump in a urinal.
30. In a hurry: Walks in, pisses on floor, walks out.
31. Embarrassing: Babysitting father takes you and daughter into
the restroom, daughter asks a lot of questions.
32. Neat freak: Carries in a can of Lysol, cleans his urinal
before and after use.
33. Hungry: Carries in a fast-food lunch, eats while pissing.
34. Juvenile: Takes a urinal for the sole purpose of vandalizing
the wall above it.
35. Pimp: Vandalizes the wall with easy girl's numbers.
36. Playa: Takes a urinal just to get those numbers.
37. Whore: Walks in and writes her own number above a urinal.
38. Moral: Tapes a message to the wall warning people of sex or
drugs.
39. Angry: Kicks in the back of the urinal to relieve anger.
40. Curious: Uses the kicked-out urinals just to see where his
piss will end up.
41. Mid-life crisis: Asks guys what their pissing style is,
tries it to see if it makes him feel younger.
42. Techno-geek: Brings in a web-cam.
43. Cruel: Blocks urinals until they get paid for moving.
44. Crueler: Doesn't pay, pisses on the cruel guy.
45. Cruelest: Doesn't pay, pisses on the guy, robs him of what
he made.
46. Wonderment: Says something along the lines of "What did I
drink to make it THAT color?"
47. Scientific: Analyzes the guy's abnormal piss, mails him the
results.
48. Molasses: Takes so long to piss, he falls asleep against
the wall.
49. Tricky: Sticks left leg into urinal, pisses down leg, piss
ends up in his shoe usually.
50. Animal instincts: Pulls down pants, lifts leg.
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| Posted by NINER on 14-Aug-2005 | IndiansTwo indians were being chased by buffalo. One indian puts his ear to the
ground and says, "Buffalo come!"
The other indian said, "How do you know?"
The indian replied, "Ear sticky!"
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