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| Posted by Aseidy Jhan on 14-Aug-2005 | Hide the dogOn preparing to return home from an out of town trip, a man got
a small puppy as a present for his son. Not having the time to
get the paperwork to take the puppy on board, the man just hid
the pup down the front of his pants and sneaked him aboard the
airplane.
About 30 minutes into the flight, a flight attendant noticed the
man shaking and quivering. "Are you OK, sir?" "Yes," said the
man, "But I have a confession to make. I didn't have time to get
the paperwork to bring a puppy on board, so I hid him down the
front of my pants."
"What's wrong? Is he not housebroken?" "No, that's not the
problem. The problem is he's not weaned yet!"
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| Posted by Tomy on 14-Aug-2005 | Eye ContactQ. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A. Because breasts don't have eyes.
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| Posted by Jeremy C. Bivens on 14-Aug-2005 | the legHow can you tell if some guy was masterbating?
One legs bigger than the other!! ha ha
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| Posted by Jameelah S. Bullock on 14-Aug-2005 | Ways to Know if You Have PMSEveryone around you has an attitude problem.
You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumpersticker
that says, "How's my driving? Call 1-800-***-****."
Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
You're convinced there's a God and he's male.
You're counting down the days until menopause.
You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.
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| Posted by Sarah A. Pedersen on 14-Aug-2005 | 350 poender?350 Pounder?
What do you call a 350-pound stripper?
Broke!
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| Posted by Darrick R. Adams on 14-Aug-2005 | VegetariansWhat does a cannibal do after he eats a vegeterian?
He throws away the wheelchair.
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| Posted by matt on 12-Aug-2005 | Why did the chicken cross the roadBecause he wanted to get to the other side
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| Posted by SwEeTiE PiE on 14-Aug-2005 | 25 ways to cope with stress25 Ways To Cope With Stress
1. Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out.
See how many you can do at once.
2. Use your MasterCard to pay your Visa and vice-versa.
3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
4. When someone says "Have a nice day," tell them you have other
plans.
5. Make a list of things to do that you've already done.
6. Dance naked in front of your pets.
7. Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send them off to
pre-school as if nothing is wrong.
8. Fill out your tax forms using Roman Numerals.
9. Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them
from high places.
10. Leaf through a "National Geographic" and draw underwear on
the natives.
11. Tattoo "out to lunch" on your forehead.
12. Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next
day.
13. Buy a subscription of "Sleezoid Weekly" and send it to your
boss's wife.
14. Pay your electric bill in pennies.
15. Drive to work in reverse.
16. Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
17. Tell your boss to "blow it out of your mule" and let him/her
figure it out.
18. Sit naked on a shelled hard boiled egg.
19. Polish your car with ear wax.
20. Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret
messages.
21. Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognize it when it
comes back to you.
22. Braid the hairs in each nostril.
23. Write a short story using alphabet soup.
24. Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend
they're in jail.
25. Make up a language and ask people for directions.
Bonus. Replace the filling of a Twinkie with ketchup and place
it back in the wrapper.
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| Posted by Ian Morris on 12-Aug-2005 | Three men who changed
there was three guys in a bar they hered a guy say to another did you know if you went to dead mans cliff and jump off of it say what you want to be then thats what youll change into.
so the three guys went to dead mans cliff and decided that they wanted to try one of the guys said his peace and told hi his friends how much they ment to him and then he jumped and said i want to be an eagale so he changed into an eagle the next guy did the same thing said his peace told his friend how much he ment to him and he jumped and said i wish to be a hawk so he changed into a hawk the next guy said his peace and he didnt bother to tell the other guy how much he ment to him beacuse there wasnt another one so he jumped and said crap crap crap crap and he changed into a pile of crap.
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| Posted by Dragon_Maiden on 12-Aug-2005 | Big FeetA man with big feet is known for having what?
A real cocky attitude
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