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| Posted by S J on 14-Aug-2005 | Survey About Bill ClintonThere was a survey filled out by every woman in America, asking
whether they would sleep with Bill Clinton, and here are the
results:
3% said yes
6% said no
91% said not again
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| Posted by Rosebud on 14-Aug-2005 | Clinton CountryA man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer, just as
President Clinton appeared on TV. After a few sips he looked up
at the TV and mumbled, "He's a horse's ass if I've ever seen
one!" A customer at the end of the bar, stood up walked over to
him, and knocked him out.
As he was finishing his beer, Hilary Clinton appeared on TV.
"She's a horse's ass too!" the man exclaimed. At the other end
of the bar, a customer stood up, walked over to him, and knocked
him off his barstool. "Damn it!", he said, getting back on his
barstool. "This must be Clinton country."
"Nope", the bartender replied. "Horse country"
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| Posted by Harry Nipples on 14-Aug-2005 | Dinner at the White HouseBill & Hillary had Al & Tipper Gore over for dinner at the White
House. In the middle of dinner, Al excused himself to use the
bathroom. After a couple of minutes, he came back. They finished
dinner and left.
On the way home, Al turned to Tipper and said, "Did you know
Bill has got a solid-gold urinal in his bathroom? "How can we
tell the American people, we are serious about cutting the
budget when the President has a solid-gold urinal?"
Tipper said, "There must be some mistake, I'll call Hillary when
we get home and find out."
They get home and she calls Hillary and says, "Is it true that
Bill has a solid-gold urinal in his bathroom?"
Hillary put her hand over the receiver and says, "Bill!!! I
found out who urinated in your saxophone!"
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| Posted by Yannick G. Marshall on 14-Aug-2005 | Wading Across the RiverBill Clinton, Al Gore and George W. Bush died and found
themselves standing on the other side of the Jordan River
looking across at the Promised Land.
The Archangel Michael was standing on the other side and shouted
over to the three surprised Americans, "Contrary to what you
have been taught, each of you will have to wade across the
Jordan River."
As Michael saw their perplexed looks, he assured them by saying,
"Don't worry. You will sink only proportionally, according to
your sins on earth. The more you have sinned, the more you will
sink into the water."
The three American sages of political lore looked at one
another, trying to determine who would be the first brave soul
to cross the Jordan River.
Finally, George W. Bush volunteered to go first. Slowly he began
to wade out into the river, and slowly the water began to get
higher and higher, reaching to his waist. George began to sweat,
thinking of all his sins that were coming back to haunt him. He
was beginning to wonder if he would ever see the other side.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he began to emerge
on the river's bank.
As he ascended to the other side, he looked behind him to see
which one of the other brave souls was going next. A shock of
surprise registered on his face, as he saw Al Gore almost in the
middle of the river, and the water was only up to his ankles.
He turned to Michael and exclaimed, "I know Al Gore. Al Gore is
a friend of mine, and he has sinned much, much more than that!"
Before the Archangel Michael could reply, Al Gore shouted back,
"I'm standing on Clinton's shoulders!"
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| Posted by John C. Cano on 14-Aug-2005 | Bill Bill BillWhy does Monica Lewinsky have such puffy cheeks?
She's withholding evidence.
What does Bill tell Hillary after sex?
Nothing, she hears about it on the evening news!
Did you know Monica has a hearing problem?
All Bill really said was, "hold my calls and sack the cook."
What's Monica going to title her memoirs?
"How to suckseed in the Oval Office without really trying!"
Monica wouldn't have soiled her dress if she would have just
kept her mouth shut.
Why does Bill Clinton wear underwear?
To keep his ankles warm.
Whats the difference between Clinton and a screw driver?
A screw driver turns in screws and Clinton screws interns.
Why does Monica refuse to play golf with Bill?
Because she's tired of his balls hitting her in the face.
Bill was recently overheard complimenting Monica's appearance.
She's got the whitest teeth I've ever cum across!"
What's the difference between Monica Lewinsky and the rest of us?
When we want some dick in the White House, we just vote.
What's Bill's new pick up line?
Would you be interested in a position under the president?"
What is the difference between Clinton and the Titanic?
Only 200 women went down on the Titanic.
From a recent survey...
In a survey of over 500 women, when asked if they would make
love to the president, 83 percent of them responded; "Never
again."
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| Posted by Michelle L. Schwartz on 14-Aug-2005 | FootyThere was an English man, a Scotish man and Tony Bliar. They
were all playing football when the Scotish was in goal, the
English man shot at the goal and the Scotish man who was nowhere
near the ball just stuck out one hand and caught the ball. The
English man was amazed, " How did you do it?" he asked." I must
have the biggest hands in the world" he replied. So they carried
on playing and teh English man kicked the baal so hard it flew
out of the park. The Scotish man " how did you do that?", "
well I must have the biggest feet in the world" he repied. Then
when the English man tried to do it agian Tony Blair got in the
way and the English kicked right into his nuts and he did not
react, so the English man asks "why didn't you react". and Tony
says " I must have the smallest nuts in the world". So they went
into a shop to check the Guinnes Book of records. The Engish man
comes out saying "Yes I have the biggest feet in the world". The
Scotish man comes out saying " yes I have the biggest hands in
the world ". Then Tony comes out saying " now were's that
President Bush"
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| Posted by Randy on 14-Aug-2005 | Tliban NavyWhy would Taliban ships have glass bottoms?
To see their air force.
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| Posted by wild west on 14-Aug-2005 | Janet Reno Slogans For Florida GovernorWatch me lick Bush!
Not Bush, but Butch!
I sure wish I was up against a woman!
The Candidate you can Anti-Trust!
You must be Waco if you don't vote for me!
Sometimes the best man for the job is a.... whatever!
Because every Floridian deserves a fair shake!
Protecting You From Illegal Elians!
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| Posted by IOVANA BRITO on 14-Aug-2005 | Osama turns him self inOsama Bin Laden Calls George Bush and Says,
Osama:I've got good news and bad news
Bush:Whats the good news?
Osama:I'm Turning myself in!
Bush:and whats the bad news?
Osama:I'm going in an airplane
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| Posted by oniyae on 14-Aug-2005 | Safe SexWhat does Bill Clinton Call Safe Sex?
When there's a guard at the door
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