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| Posted by frogstomp on 14-Aug-2005 | Green, Fuzzy...Whats green, fuzzy and smells like Monica Lewinski?
Bill Clinton's pool table.
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| Posted by Big Fat ASS on 14-Aug-2005 | George W. & The QueenPresident George W. Bush was representing the United States of
America on a highly formal, orchestrated state visit to England.
The President joined Queen Elizabeth II in a beautiful, ornate
17th-century coach hitched to 6 enormous matched white horses.
The coach proceeded through the streets of London en route to
Buckingham Palace, and the Queen and the President were waving
to the cheering throngs.
Then suddenly the right rear horse produced a thunderous fart
that reverberated through the air and rattled the doors of the
coach, sending a horse-shit stench blowing through the coach.
Uncomfortable, the two powerful figures try to focus their
attentions elsewhere and behave as if nothing extraordinary had
happened.
But the Queen realized that ignoring what had just happened
would be ridiculous. She explained: "Mr. President, please
accept my regrets - I'm sure you understand that there are some
things that even a Queen cannot control."
George W. replied, "No need to be ashamed, your majesty... it's
just gas. But I gotta admit, until you confessed, I thought it
was one of the horses!"
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| Posted by Dipankar on 14-Aug-2005 | The Bush JokeWhat are you called if you are paid to kill president Bush.
A Bush Wacker.
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| Posted by mmmmmm kkkkkkkkk on 14-Aug-2005 | Iraqi One-LinersQ. What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common?
A. They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from!
Q: What is the best Iraqi job?
A: Foreign ambassador.
Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots?
A. You only have to teach them to take off.
Q. How do you play Iraqi bingo?
A. B-52...F-16...B-2...F-117...B-1.
Q: What is Iraq's national bird?
A: Duck.
Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile?
A: Aeroflot has killed more people.
Q: How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats?
A: So they can see their Air Force.
Q. Did you hear that Saddam Hussein won the toss?
A. He elected to receive.
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| Posted by Ben T. Halbig on 14-Aug-2005 | osama binladenLetter to Taliban;
Surrender Osama Bin Laden or we we'll send your women to
college
The United States
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| Posted by alvin t. decker on 14-Aug-2005 | Bill Clinton on the BottomWhy is Bill Clinton alaways on the bottom when having sex?
Because he can only FUCK UP!
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| Posted by Kailee J. Spencer on 14-Aug-2005 | Anagram of President Clinton of the USAAn Anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made by
transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or
phrase.
PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA
It can be rearranged (with no letters left over, and using each
letter only once into: TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS
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| Posted by Curtis Hogan on 14-Aug-2005 | The W Song"The Kennebunkport Hillbilly"
(Sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies, of course.)
Come and listen to my story 'bout a boy name Bush.
His IQ was zero and his head was up his tush.
He drank like a fish while he drove all about.
But that didn't matter 'cuz his daddy bailed him out.
DUI, that is. Criminal record. Cover-up.
Well, the first thing you know little Georgie goes to Yale.
He can't spell his name but they never let him fail.
He spends all his time hangin' out with student folk.
And that's when he learns how to snort a line of coke.
Blow, that is. White gold. Nose candy.
Well next thing you know there's a war in Vietnam.
Kin folks say, "George, stay at home with Mom."
Let the common people get maimed and scarred.
We'll buy you a spot in the Texas Air Guard.
Cushy, that is. Country clubs. Nose candy.
Twenty years later George gets a little bored.
He trades in the booze, says that Jesus is his Lord.
He said, "Now the White House is the place I wanna be."
So he called his daddy's friends and they called the GOP.
Gun owners, that is. Falwell. Jesse Helms.
Come November 7, the election ran late.
Kin folks said "Jeb, give the boy your state!"
"Don't let those colored folks get into the polls."
So they put up barricades so they couldn't punch their holes.
Chads, that is. Duval County. Miami-Dade.
Before the votes were counted five Supremes stepped in.
Told all the voters "Hey, we want George to win."
"Stop counting votes!" was their solemn invocation.
And that's how George finally got his coronation.
Rigged, that is. Illegitimate. No moral authority.
Y'all come vote now. Ya hear?
Paid for by the Katherine Harris Foundation for Corrective
Plastic Surgery.
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| Posted by Amanda L. Graves on 14-Aug-2005 | Second Chance for Clinton, Lincoln, and BushBill Clinton, Abraham Lincoln, and George Bush died and went to
heaven.
They were walking and knocked on the door of heaven. God
answered and said that they could have one more chance. He told
them to go over to the cloud on his far right and say what they
wanted to do to make the world a better place. Then jump off and
do that deed. That would show the last part of the test of life
and then that would show that they were ready for heaven.
Abraham went first. "I am going to start world peace!" and he
jumped off and started world peace.
Then George Bush went and said, "I am going to clean up all the
trash put on earth." And he jumped off and started the worldwide
committee for trash clean-ups.
Clinton was very excited he ran and accidentally tripped over a
cloud twig and replied, "SHIT!" and he fell off and became shit
and he helped out the world more than ever.
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| Posted by pookie on 14-Aug-2005 | Osama in camelOsama bin Laden and one of his followers were riding on a camel
when they stopped at a small town. Bin Laden gets off the camel
and lifts up its tail and looks at the camel's butt, just then a
guy comes over and says, "What are you doing?"
Osama replies, "About 2 miles back I heard someone say, 'Hey,
look at the two assholes on that camel.'"
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