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| Posted by rebekah on 14-Aug-2005 | UFO potQ: How does a Martian feel, after he smokes a JOINT?
A: "Spaced Out"!!!!!!!! (Or way far out)
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| Posted by Sean on 14-Aug-2005 | martiansWhat did the martians ask for when they came to earth?
Marshmallows
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| Posted by Tenny on 14-Aug-2005 | marishanWhat did the Martians ask for when they came to earth?
A marshmallow
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| Posted by Kimiko R. Treitler on 14-Aug-2005 | Genie and 3 GuysThere are 3 guys stranded on an island. They find a magic lamp,
and a genie inside who will give them 3 wishes. They decide that
each of them will get one wish. The first guy says, "I want to
go home to my family." The second guy also wants to go home. The
third guy says, "You know, it's getting lonely here. Could you
bring those two guys back?"
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| Posted by Lola Green on 14-Aug-2005 | Close EncounterOne day in a little town in the desert, a UFO landed and a green
man came out and walked towards the town bar. As he entered the
bar he approached the sherif who happened to be reading the
paper. The alien stood behind him, looked over his shoulder and
started to tap him on the shoulder. After a couple of minutes of
doing that, the sherrif got mad and threw the paper on the
ground and said, "Here, you wanna read it, go ahead." The alien
pulls his dick out and starts to run it over the lines. The
sherrif was very surrprised and asked, "If this is how you read
then how do you have sex?" In response, the alien approached him
and started tapping his shoulder.
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| Posted by Ringmaster on 14-Aug-2005 | Irishman and Genie w/ Glass of VodkaOne day an Irishman found a bottle. He rubbed it and out came a
genie. The genie said, "I will grant you 2 wishes."
The Irishman said, "I like Russian vodka. So I guess I'll take a
glass of that." POOF! He had a glass of vodka!
To his surprise, once he finished the glass it refilled by
itself, "Wow! It refilled itself!" The genie said, "Of course!
It's a magic glass. It will never run out of vodka."
The Irishman exclaimed, "Great! I'll have another one of these!"
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| Posted by Vince Joebob on 14-Aug-2005 | 10 Times More to HusbandA lady has an ugly divorce with her husband. One day she finds a
lamp. She rubs it and a genie appears.
The genie told her, "I will make 3 of your wishes come true...
BUT, the wish you ask for will be done 10 times more to your
husband."
The lady though for a second and says, "Ok, I want to be the
richest lady ever. I want to be the prettiest lady ever. And I
want a little-bitsy heart attack...."
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| Posted by Kristen S on 14-Aug-2005 | The MartianA lady is driving in her car. When she looks at the rearview
mirror, she sees a martian sitting in the backseat. Terrified,
she looses control of the car, crashes against a tree, and
becomes unconscious.
When she wakes up, the martian is rubbing her breasts.
The martian says, "Do not be alarmed. I come in peace. I have
stitched the cut between your legs and I am now trying to lower
these engorged bruises."
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| Posted by janet reisdorfer on 14-Aug-2005 | SonIt was time for St. Peter's annual three-week vacation, and
Jesus volunteered to fill in for him at the Pearly Gates.
"It's no big deal," St. Peter explained. "Just sit at the
registration desk, and ask each person a little about his or her
life. Then, send them to housekeeping to pick up their wings."
On the third day, Jesus looked up to see a bewildered old man
standing in front of him. He asked the old man to tell him
something about himself.
"I'm a simple carpenter," said the old man. "And once I had a
son. He was born in a very special way, and was unlike anyone
else in the world. He went through a great transformation even
though he had holes in his hands and feet. He was taken from me
a long time ago, but his spirit lives on forever. All over the
world people tell his story."
By this time, Jesus was standing with his arms outstretched.
There were tears in his eyes, as he embraced the old man.
"Dad..." he cried, "it's been so long."
The old man squinted, removed his glasses, stares blankly for a
moment while he wiped the glasses, returned the glasses to his
head, looked at Jesus again and said, "Pinocchio?"
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| Posted by Hector R. Cruz on 14-Aug-2005 | Sex On PlutoIn the future, when space travel is very advanced, a lady goes
on a trip to Pluto. When she gets there the male aliens look
just like male humans. However, the female aliens have one foot
wide mouths and heads that are 3 1/4 feet long.
She stays on Pluto for a long time, and gets a strong urge to
have sex. She finds an alien willing to screw her, so they grow
into an empty room and strip. She's terribly dissappointed to
find he has an incredibly tiny dick.
"It's okay," says the alien. "Tell me how thick and how long you
want it. Then I'll stick my finger in my belly button and it
will grow to that size."
"As thick as you can make it and as long as you can make it,"
she says as she watches in awe as his penis grows 1 foot wide
and three feet long. "Oh no!" the lady exclaims "that will never
be able to fit in my pussy!"
"Don't worry," the alien reassures her. "This may hurt a bit,
but I can make your pussy bigger!" After she agrees, he hits the
bottom of his hand between her breasts and her pussy grows to
the adequate size, and the two begin to have passionate sex.
When they are over, the lady begins to get worried about the
size of her pussy and asks the alien how to make it go back to
its original size. The alien says there is only one solution,
and that it must be done to make her pussy normal size.
The alien smiles and says, "Give me a blowjob."
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