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| Posted by SpOrTy PiNaY on 14-Aug-2005 | Thank you, God.....A man is on safari in the jungle by himself unarmed.(yes, he is
a blonde)A lion suddenly jumps in front of him and roars. The
man immiediately gets on his knees and begins to pray.
"Please,God, dont let this lion eat me." To his amazement he
sees the lion immidiately get to its knees and starts praying.
"Thank god," the man says, and leans closer to hear what the
lion is saying. "Thank you God, for this food you have put
before me...."
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| Posted by jeessejames on 14-Aug-2005 | The English, the Irish and the ScottishThere was once an English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man
and there was this magical slide. The Genie of the slide said to
them, "I grant you a wish when you slide down this magical
slide."
The English man slid down the slide and shouted "GOLD!!!" and he
landed in a pile of gold.
The Irish man slid down the slide shouted "SILVER!!!" and landed
in a pile of silver.
The Scottish man went down the slide and thought it was fun so
he said "WEE!!!" and landed in a puddle of wee.
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| Posted by JESSEluvr4life on 14-Aug-2005 | Take me to your leaderA purple alien and a green alien landed on Earth and the first
thing they came to was a gas pump. The purple alien walked up to
it and said, "Take me to your leader". The green alien said,
"He's not gonna listen to you, he's a mean motherfucker." The
purple alien said, "Yes he will, take me to their leader." The
green alien said, "I told you he won't listen, he's a mean
motherfucker." The purple alien tried one more time, "TAKE ME TO
YOUR LEADER!" When the gas pump didn't listen the purple alien
asked the green alien, "How did you know he wouldn't listen?"
The green alien said "Anyone who can take it out, wrap it around
their neck and stick it in their ear has got to be a mean
motherfucker."
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| Posted by Bertha Mark on 14-Aug-2005 | Singing for a wishAn old guy wanted to go on a vacation, but he didn't have any
money at all. One day while looking around the house for some
cash, he found a magic lamp...when he rubbed it out came a
genie! The genie said for freeing him from his lamp, he will
give him 3 wishes. The old man's first wish was that he wanted
$1,000,000...POOF! He had a $1,000,000. The second wish was that
he had the coolest convertable in the world...POOF! He had the
coolest convertable in the world. He said he'll tell the genie
the third wish later. The genie was in the lamp in the backseat
of the convertable while the old guy was driving to the beach.
He turned on the radio...the old guy was so happy, he started
singing to the tune on the radio... "I WISH I were an Oscar
Meyer weinerrrrrr, the bestest weiner I can ever beeeeeee!"
POOF!!!
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| Posted by Sarah E. Bellis on 14-Aug-2005 | Star LightStar light,
Star bright,
First star I see tonight.
I wish you may,
I wish you might,
Grant the wish,
I wish tonight.
I wish that I,
Would get some sex,
(That is, GOOD sex),
On this night,
And every night.
So bring it on,
Let's have some fun,
Come on hott guy,
Fuck me hard.
Star light,
Star bright,
First star I see tonight.
I wish you may,
I wish you might,
Damn! It's just a satellite!
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| Posted by Candy baby on 14-Aug-2005 | What kind of ghost...What king of ghost sits in a cloth chair?
An upolster-geist.
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