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| Posted by Anu Patel on 13-Aug-2005 | Zippergate at the moviesZIPPERGATE IN MOVIE TITLES PG 13
Subject: Executive Decision, True Lies, Beauty and the Beast, ....
**Disclaimer: The following story, though based on a true story contains altered or questionable facts and statements. Names and places have been changed to protect the innocent, if in fact there are any. **
This is The Never Ending Story of a 9 To 5, Working Girl, and The American President. The latter of whom offered the former an Indecent Proposal. It seems this Top Gun was Addicted To Love, to Youngblood. He had a Basic Instinct, Fatal Attraction, for this Pretty Woman, this Babe. He liked to Kiss The Girls, and liked Boys On The Side.... but that's Oliver's Story.
Casual Sex? No, she saw Career Opportunities, The Sure Thing. She had Great Expectations.
It was to be a Close Encounter Of The Third Kind, a Mission Impossible. We're talking Risky Business, Dangerous Ground. Till now she'd played The Saint, but this would be Unforgiven, for she would break The Ten Commandments.
It Happened One Night. It would be An Affair To Remember. The Bodyguard would be the means of the Deliverance. She was in the Head Office From Dusk Till Dawn. She started with a Striptease, then Goin' South for The Fly. His pants Falling Down to his Sneakers, revealing The Pelican Briefs. Looked like there'd be Foul Play. She would Free Willy Two, and be surprised by the Hook. Up Close And Personal, she put her parted Jaws upon The Thing. She'd never Eight Men Out before, but he was Blown Away. Trading Places, he slipped his Goldfinger into her Paradise Alley. He could smell her Heat and taste her Primal Fear. Her Field Of Dreams began to Grease. Their Private Parts made Contact. He thrust his Shaft into The Abyss. She felt a Sudden Impact, and her Crimson Tide broke upon his Great Balls OF Fire!
He expected an Easy Rider, but she was a Twister, and Rocky Two. She squirmed Every Which Way But Loose. He drove his Willy Wonka with Speed into The Deep. Then Chitty, Chitty, Bang! Bang! He released Hot Shots of his White Squall into her Dark Passage. She felt The Wiz, then The Big Chill, and Speechless, Waiting To Exhale, let out a Scream. It was over in 8 Seconds.Then came The Long Kiss Good Night.
The Morning After, Dazed And Confused, she told her Circle Of Friends what had occurred. She said she was told if there was ever a Q&A by Internal Affairs to protect the President with Secrets & Lies. All The Presidents' Men wanted her to be a Liar, Liar. Unbeknownst, one of these confidants was Wired.
48 Hrs. Another 48 Hrs. 9 1/2 Weeks. Another 9 1/2 Weeks. Then seeking Fame and Big Fortune, this confidant would hold The American President for Ransom. He wasn't Above Suspicion, he was Fair Game. She thought, ' I'm Gonna Git You Sucka!'. She told the press, 'I Know What You Did Last Summer.' She Set It Off....a Chain Reaction which could Breakdown the Absolute Power of the President, Against All Odds. He'd be Better Off Dead, Fallen. Grumpy Old Men and Ordinary People will shout their Conspiracy Theory. His Misery would cause Dead Presidents to rollover in their grave. When the tapes are aired, he would be Coming To America.
However Suspect, the President was a Diehard In The Line Of Fire. He addressed the people and stated, 'This is Much Ado About Nothing. Stand By Me. Right wing advocates will Say Anything, and should Never Cry Wolf.'
The First Lady And The Tramp also showed Courage Under Fire. Clueless, and without a Witness For The Prosecution, the Dragnet came to a halt. The American President was no longer Under Siege, and The Shadow over the Capitol.
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| Posted by Sarah Michael on 13-Aug-2005 | Movie's of the 80'sGuess the following movie quotes. All movies were released between the years 1980 and 1989. Comedies, dramas, action, etc. Some are quite simple, and others are more difficult.
There are 37 items, followed by the answers at the bottom, so you may wish to save reading this for a less hectic portion of your day.
1) Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
2) We're on a mission from God.
3) People on 'ludes should not drive.
4) This house is clean.
5) Shall we play a game?
6) Terrific!! I've got a trig mid-term tomorrow, and I'm being chased by Guido the killer pimp.
7) Back off man, I'm a scientist.
8) That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else.
9) I know a little German. He's sitting over there.
10) Can I borrow your towel, my car just hit a water buffalo.
11) Excuse me, Dick, I mean Rich, will milk be provided for us?
12) There are several quitessential moments in a man's life: losing his virginity, getting married, becoming a father, and having the right girl smile at you.
13) You don't have time to think up there. If you think, you're dead.
14) Come on guys, by the time we get there the kid won't be dead anymore.
15) I'm scared of what I saw, I'm scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel with you.
16) Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
17) Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the VP is such a VIP, shouldn't we keep the PC on the QT? Cause of the leaks to the VC, he could end up MIA and then we'd all be put out in KP.
18) Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues.
19) I'm the ghost with the most, babe.
20) I'm an excellent driver.
21) A hundred million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with smaller feet than my sister.
22) Now if it was a collect call, that would have been daring.
23) I believe in long, slow, deep soft wet kisses that last three days.
24) Christmas is over, and business is business.
25) Men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.
26) Do it for Johnny!!
27) Here's Johnny!!
28) Phone Home.
29) I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle.
30) Tell Victor that Ramon, the fella he met about a week ago - tell him that Ramon went to the clinic today, and I found out that I have, um, herpes simplex 10.
31) What are you looking at? You've never seen a guy who slept with a fish before.
32) No such thing bad student. Only bad teacher.
33) I wish I were big.
34) I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way.
35) I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for the last 40 years.
36) Someone once wrote ''Hell is the impossibility of reason.'' that's what this place feels like. Hell.
37) Never call a broad more than once a week. Never, ever, ever!!!
**********************Answers***************************
1) Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison? AIRPLANE
2) We're on a mission from God. THE BLUES BROTHERS
3) People on 'ludes should not drive. FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH
4) This house is clean. POLTERGEIST
5) Shall we play a game? WAR GAMES
6) Terrific!! I've got a trig mid-term tomorrow, and I'm being chased by Guido the killer pimp. RISKY BUSINESS
7) Back off man, I'm a scientist. GHOSTBUSTERS
8) That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call them something else. SIXTEEN CANDLES
9) I know a little German. He's sitting over there. TOP SECRET
10) Can I borrow your towel, my car just hit a water buffalo. FLETCH
11) Excuse me, Dick, I mean Rich, will milk be provided for us? BREAKFAST CLUB
12) There are several quitessential moments in a man's life: losing his virginity, getting married, becoming a father, and having the right girl smile at you. ST. ELMO'S FIRE
13) You don't have time to think up there. If you think, you're dead. TOP GUN
14) Come on guys, by the time we get there the kid won't be dead anymore. STAND BY ME
15) I'm scared of what I saw, I'm scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel with you. DIRTY DANCING
16) Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. FERRIS BUELLERS DAY OFF
17) Excuse me, sir. Seeing as how the VP is such a VIP, shouldn't we keep the PC on the QT? Cause of the leaks to the VC, he could end up MIA and then we'd all be put out in KP. GOOD MORNING VIETNAM
18) Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues. ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING
19) I'm the ghost with the most, babe. BEETLEJUICE
20) I'm an excellent driver. RAINMAN
21) A hundred million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with smaller feet than my sister. DIE HARD
22) Now if it was a collect call, that would have been daring. DEAD POET'S SOCIETY
23) I believe in long, slow, deep soft wet kisses that last three days. BULL DURHAM
24) Christmas is over, and business is business. SCROOGED
25) Men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way. WHEN HARRY MET SALLY
26) Do it for Johnny!! THE OUTSIDERS
27) Here's Johnny!! THE SHINING
28) Phone Home. ET
29) I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle. A CHRISTMAS STORY
30) Tell Victor that Ramon, the fella he met about a week ago - tell him that Ramon went to the clinic today, and I found out that I have, um, herpes simplex 10. BEVERLY HILLS COP
31) What are you looking at? You've never seen a guy who slept with a fish before. SPLASH
32) No such thing bad student. Only bad teacher. THE KARATE KID
33) I wish I were big. BIG
34) I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way. WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT?
35) I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for the last 40 years. STEEL MAGNOLIAS
36) Someone once wrote ''Hell is the impossibility of reason.'' That's what this place feels like. Hell. PLATOON
37) Never call a broad more than once a week. Never, ever, ever!!! ABOUT LAST NIGHT
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| Posted by Jada Y. Gates on 13-Aug-2005 | Hollywood Squares Quotes1. According to Movie Life magazine, Ann-Margaret would like to start having babies soon, but her husband wants her to wait awhile. Why? Paul Lynde: He's out of town
2. Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie, 'What's The Matter With Helen?' Who plays Helen? Charley Weaver: Dennis Weaver-that's why they asked the question
3. What are 'dual-purpose cattle' good for that other cattle aren't? Paul Lynde: They give milk ... and cookies, but I don't recommend the cookies
4. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? 5. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him
6. Robert Young recently stated, 'I never, never give ...' something to his fans who ask for it. What? Paul Lynde: A hysterectomy
7. James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty-one years old. Now he says it was 'one of the best things I ever did
What was it? Marty Allen: Rhonda Fleming
8. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? Charley Weaver: His feet
9. Before a cow will give you any milk, she has to have something very important. What? Paul Lynde: An engagement ring
10. According to Robert Mitchum, one thing has ruined more actors than drinking. What? Charley Weaver: Not drinking
11. When the Lone Ranger finished with a case, he left something behind. What? Paul Lynde: A masked baby
12. True or false: Some African Watusi tribesmen greet guests by running toward them at full speed, then high-jumping over them
Charley Weaver: This is sometimes terribly embarrassing to tall guests
13. You're on your first visit to Japan, and you head right for the Kabuki. Why? Paul Lynde: It was a long plane ride
14. If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high? Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it
15. Do female frogs croak? Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water
16. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake
17. Is there any such thing as an F cup in bra sizes? Paul Lynde: Yes, it sleeps four
18. True or false: Many people sleep better in their street clothes than they do in their pajamas? Paul Lynde: Yes. We call them winos
19. According to the World Book, is it okay to freeze your persimmons? Paul Lynde: No. You should dress warmly
20. According to psychologists, when a child begins to get curious about sex, what is the one question he will most ask his mommy and daddy? Paul Lynde: Where can I get some? 21. Your baby has a certain object which he loves to cling to. Should you try to break him of his habit? Joan Rivers: Yes. It's daddy's turn
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| Posted by Brent A. Lund on 11-Aug-2005 | Todal leanthDale Earnheart, Jeff Gordon, Tony Sterut was all trying to get into a strip joint. But the bouncer wouldn't let them so they said who they were and the bouncer said that if their dicks added up to 13 inches he would let them in. So Dale was 5.
Tony was 6.
And Jeff was 2.
So the bouncer let them in. As they was going in Jeff said," Thankfuly I had a hard one on."
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| Posted by henry on 13-Aug-2005 | Christmas Carols for Mental DisordersSchizophrenia: Do You Hear What I Hear?
Multiple Personality: We Three Kings
Disoriented Are. Dementia: I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas.
Narcissistic: Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me)
Mania: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town or Deck the Halls and Spare No Expense!
Paranoia: Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me.
Personality Disorder: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I'll tell you why.
Obsessive Compulsive: Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell...
Borderline Personality: Thoughts of Roasting in an Open Fire.
Passive Aggressive: On the First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me (and then took it all away).
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| Posted by Michael W. Roberts on 13-Aug-2005 | Church of ElvisFather O'Mally has been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long, that he decides to take a vacation. He has never been married and he is curious as to what an American endures in everyday life. So, he decides to go to the States before it is too late.
He hops on the plane bound for Nevada. He arrives in the Airport in Las Vegas. As he is exiting the plane, someone in the airport runs up to him and exclaims, "Elvis! Oh my God! It's Elvis! I knew you weren't dead Elvis! How have you been?"
Father looks at her and says, "Get outta me face. Can't you see I'm not Elvis? I don't look a thing like Elvis." The father moves on to his cab waiting outside. He hops in his cab and he's a little upset so he tells the cabby, "Take me to my hotel and step on it."
The cabby turns and says, "Sure thing sir - Oh my God! It's Elvis! I knew you weren't dead! I'm your number one fan! It's so great to see you!"
"Shut up, you imbecile. I'm not Elvis! Now turn around and drive!" So, the cabby speeds up to the hotel. Father O'Malley gets his things and walks up to the hotel check-in counter.
"Oh my God! Oh my God! It's you!" screams the hotel clerk. "You're back Elvis! I knew this day would happen. We saved everything just the way you like it! Free cheeseburgers, peanut butter and banana fried sandwiches, masseurs, complementary hookers and a full liquor bar! I'm so glad you're back!"
Father O'Malley looks at the hotel clerk and says, "Thank you. Thank you very much!"
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