Other People Jokes

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Other People Jokes

Being quite overweight and desperate for a solution, I decided to purchase one of those step meters that measured how many steps you have taken. One day when I was at my mother’s, my father saw the device and asked what it was. I proudly replied that it was a slimming tool that I used to count the number of steps that I have taken. He replied, “Wouldn’t it work better if it counted the number of bites you took out of that sandwich.” Embarrassed I placed the sandwich down as my mother who was sitting with me laughed so hard she became red.

Guns have always given me the willies. But when my job required me to transport valuables, I decided that I needed some protection. Since I knew the next to nothing about firearms, I decided to join a pistol club, hoping to pick up much needed pointers. After watching and evaluating my technique for a few weeks, the instructor pulled me aside.

“Are you open to suggestions?” he asks.

“Absolutely!”, I replied

“Hire a Bodyguard!!”

Coming out of the grocery one day, I saw a woman with a full shopping cart loading her car when unexpectedly the cart began to roll off. As she rose from the trunk of her car she was surprised to find her grocery cart rolling off and gaining speed unfortunately heading for my car. She bolted off dashing to catch the wayward cart which slammed into my driver’s side door of my brand new car. As I ran after her toward my car I asked her ,”How bad is the damage?”. She replied, ”Bad, very bad indeed. I think I broke at least a dozen eggs.”
Name Rating
At the Checkout 8.50
A Very Stupid Joke 7.75
Sh*t ,Shut Up, and Manners 7.75
Stank 7.00
Twenty Fun Things To Do At A Fast Food Drive Thru 6.50
Three Men Two Girls and Jimmy 6.33
A Teenager Is... 6.00
Reserved Seating 6.00
A Bet 6.00
Aussie Radio Call-in Show 6.00
Miss America 5.80
Answering Machine Owners Messages 5.50
Watches Are Falling 4.63
Knock Knock 4.00
Got Any Nuts 4.00
Didn't Know About Daughters 3.00
What To Do If..... 2.33
Bar Embarrassment 2.00
A Small Boy Swallowed A Dime 2.00
Radio Station 2.00
A Annoying Joke 2.00
Supermarket Sweepstakes 2.00
World?!?!?! End!?!?!?!? 2.00
AIM CONVERSATION 2.00
Rabbit and Bear 1.00
Head From A Duck 1.00
Walking Stick 1.00
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Top 20 Things To Do When Your Bored ---
Touchdown ---
the Little Brother ---
Missing?? ---
Circus Day ---
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Ballerina At the Bar ---
Lumberjack ---
the "Brother" ---
20 Things To Do At A Water Park ---
20 Responses To Wrong #'s 2 ---
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Response To "Rules Chicks Don't Understand" ---
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5 Things To Do in An Elevator ---
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FUNNIEST JOKE OF *ALL* TIME ---
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the Pub ---
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the Blonde Assasins ---
the Stupid Man ---
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Stripper Club ---
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the Hill ---
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Crank Call ---
Pick Up Lines ---
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Entering Heaven ---
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Three Mice ---
Fun With Fast Food! ---
Blonde,burrnete. Red Head ---
Bin Ladin's Camels ---