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| Posted by alisha bowden on 08-Aug-2005 | light bulbHow many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, because a blonde will screw anything.
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| Posted by Kevin J. Hall on 08-Aug-2005 | complainigOne day there was a blonde complaining to her best friend.
Blonde: I'm sick and tired of bieng called a dumb blonde!!
Friend: Well you should prove them wrong somehow. Try learning the state capitals!
Blonde: Great idea!
A few days later,thier was a party and the blonde's friend invited her.
Jock: Hey look! Its a dumb blonde!
Blonde: I'm not dumb!I know the state capitals!
Jock: Oh yeah? Prove it! Whats the capital of Montana?
Blonde: Thats easy! It's "M".
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| Posted by gypsygirl on 08-Aug-2005 | Computers And BlondesHow can you tell a blonde has been on your computer?
Your Joystick is wet.
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| Posted by Skateboard Freak on 08-Aug-2005 | Blonde Animal LoverWhy did the Blonde throw bread crumbs down the loo??
To feed the toilet duck!!!
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| Posted by Karlina Fierling on 08-Aug-2005 | Blonde zebraQ. What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A. Spot
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| Posted by Horn E. Guy on 08-Aug-2005 | The blonde at the doctor'sThis blonde goes to the doctor, the doctor asks what's wrong? She takes her finger and says while she points my head hurts, my breast hurts, my knee hurts, and my foot hurts. The doctor asks are you really a red head? She gose no i'm a blonde. The doctor says no wonder your finger is broke.
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| Posted by Ol-Dirty on 08-Aug-2005 | Suicidal blondeSuicidal blonde
A blonde girl got so mad about blonde jokes she decided to kill herself.
She finds a suitable tree and proceeds to hang herself by the ankles.
Two guys come over and say, "Are you trying to kill yourself?"
The blonde replies, "Yes, I am."
One of the men says, "Then shouldn't you hang the rope on your neck instead of your ankles?"
The blonde says, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
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| Posted by |]rE/-|/|Er on 08-Aug-2005 | Orange JuiceDid you hear about the blonde who was staring at a frozen orange juice container because it said "concentrate"?
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| Posted by Captain C on 08-Aug-2005 | Alligator shoesA young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the
worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand.
Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward
her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
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| Posted by cheri shuler on 08-Aug-2005 | Blonde witnessThree blondes were witnesses to a crime, so they went to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief said he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo to the first blonde, he covered it, then asked her how she would recognize the suspect.
"Easy," she replied. "He only has one eye."
The chief was stunned. "He only has one eye because it is a profile shot! Think about it!" He repeated the procedure for the second blonde and again asked how she would recognize him.
"He only has one ear," was her answer.
"What is the matter with you people?!? It is a profile shot! You are seeing him from the side!" He repeated the procedure for the third blonde, then said, "How would you recognize the suspect? Now think before you give me a stupid answer."
After viewing the photo, she thought for a minute, then said, "He's wearing contact lenses."
This took the chief by surprise. He looked real hard at the picture and couldn't tell if the suspect had contacts or not, so he went into the database and looked at the report. Sure enough, when the mug shot was taken, he was wearing contact lenses! He went back to her and asked, "How could you tell he was wearing contact lenses? Nobody else here in this precinct saw that!"
"Well," she said, "he can't wear regular glasses with only one eye and one ear, now, can he?"
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