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| Posted by Chuckler on 11-Aug-2005 | The bridgeThere was a man walking on the beach and he found a genie lamp. The genie popped out and tol him he could only have one wish because he had been granting wishes all day and was getting tired. The genie said think real good and hard then let me know. So the man thought for a little while then he said, I won't a bridge from hear to Hawaii so I can just drive there instead of flying. The genie said no way, that would take way to long. The genie said think of another one. So he thought real good and hard and said ok. I want the key to figure out a woman. The genie said, where did you want that bridge to go to.
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| Posted by Yum Yum on 11-Aug-2005 | Three WishesA man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie.
The genie says, "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes."
The man cheers, "Great! I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want.
First, I want one billion dollars in a Swiss bank account." Poof! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears in his hand.
He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here." Poof! There is a flash of light and a bright red brand-new Ferrari appears right next to him.
He continues,"Finally, I want to be irresistible to women." Poof! There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates.
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| Posted by Big Head Bill on 11-Aug-2005 | Come back hereThere were 3 men stranded on an island. they all went in search of life when they came across a bottle. they rub the bottle and poof, out comes a geanie. alright you got one wish each the geanie said. the first guy said i want to be back home with all my family and friends and poof he was gone. then the second guy said id like to be back home with all my friends since i have no family. then the 3rd guy said well i have no family or friends so i wish for the other 2 guys to come back.
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| Posted by chris Dawson on 11-Aug-2005 | Be Careful What You Wish ForEarly one morning, Jerome was walking along a beach. In the sand he found a brass lamp. He decided to rub the lamp and a beautiful genie appeared.
Jerome, being quite a bright lad, said "I have released you from your prison and you must grant me 3 wishes."
The Genie said "That is true but my powers are rusty. You will have to come back tomorrow."
Jerome replied "Oh, but I cannot wait till tomorrow, because I am a student and must take my finals exams then."
The Genie responded, "Very well. I will write you 3 letters of acquaintance. Give one to each of the wizards whose address I have written on the letters and they will grant you a wish on my behalf."
Off Jerome went. On the way he wondered what to wish for and thought about his exams tomorrow. He suspected what some of the exam questions might be and thought why not be sure I have the correct answers. So he decided to ask the Wizards to unravel some perplex mysteries for him.
To the first, he asked to know the secret of how Caramel puts the caramel in their bars. Poof . . . the Wizard sent him to the Chocolate Factory and he discovered how it was done.
To the second Wizard, he asked how toothpaste could come out like a candy cane . . . with the red stripe down it. Poof . . . the Wizard send him to the Toothpaste Factory and he now knew how it was done.
To the third Wizard (whom he woke up) . . . he asked how the pyramids were built. Poof . . . Jerome found himself in the Egyptian Desert working with thousands of other slaves.
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| Posted by nate f. gayfag on 11-Aug-2005 | Wishes Gone BadA ship was travelling over a rough sea when all of a sudden a violent storm broke out.
The people on the boat were extremely scared of being thrown overboard so they all went downstairs. When the big waves started throwing the ship around there were still three people on deck who refused to go downstairs.
After a few hard knocks the ship was turned upside down and sank. The only survivors were the three guys who stayed on deck who washed up on a deserted island.
The next morning the guys decided that they would have to live together in harmony and they made an agreement to be friends.
Two days later after the three guys had built a shelter and found some fresh water and fruit, a bottle washed up on the shore. One of the guys walked up the beach and brought the bottle back to the shelter for the others to see.
Blaze, the smartest of the three said they should open it. Jay, the strongest of the three grabbed the bottle and pulled at the cork wedged tightly in the top, but couldn't open it. So Blaze grabbed the cork as well and they pulled together, but it still wouldn't budge.
Finally, Joel the weirdest, oldest guy grabbed hold of the cork and they all pulled together.
Suddenly the cork flew of into the air followed by a shroud of smoke. When the thick smoke began to clear, there stood a huge Genie. The Genie said, "I am the mighty Genie of the bottle and to thank you little humans for setting me free I will grant you each one wish."
Blaze, the smartest of the three said straight away, "I want to be back home running my own University and every will see how smart I really am."
Jay, The strongest of the three thought for a second and said, "I want to be back at home running the worlds largest gym and everyone will see how strong I really am."
Joel, the weird old guy sat on the beach for a few hours thinking and eventually fell asleep. When he woke he saw the huge Genie and jumped to his feet with fright.
"Old foolish man I grow impatient, make your wish soon or suffer my wrath", said the Genie.
The old man was scared, but angry at the Genie for talking to him so rudely and said "You shouldn't talk to elderly folk like that! I wish my friends Blaze and Jay were here to kick your fat arse then you'd be sorry!"
Then with a puff of smoke the Genie was gone and then Blaze, Jay and Joel sat together in the sand.
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| Posted by Jordan Harder on 11-Aug-2005 | 3 WishesAn American, Australian and Englishman where stranded together on a desert island. After many years together, one day the three men were walking on the beach when they saw an old bottle than had been washed up. Immediatley the American opened the bottle. There was a flash and a loud bang and a Genie appeared. The Genie said" I have been trapped in that bottle for a 1000 years, and as a reward I will give you all one wish"
The American straight away said "I want to go back home to New York"
With a wave of the Genie's hand, the American disappeared.
The Australian said "Please send me back to my home in Sydney"
"No Problem", the Genie answered. And the Austrialian disappear.
Suddenly there was a loud crash. Behind the Genie and the Englishman, a giant pink elephant had just fallen out of the sky onto the beach. The elephant picked himself up and looked around. He then looked at the Genie and the Englishman and said apologetically, "Sorry chaps, I appear to be the wrong joke!"
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| Posted by Teresa L. Strack on 11-Aug-2005 | Foot long literA man walks into a bar and he sees a guy with a foot long liter. he asks "the man where did he get it?" the guy "replies there is a lamp by the lake rub it and the genie in it will grant you one wish." So the man runs to the lake finds the lamp rubs it and asks for a million bucks when he gets home there is a million ducks. He goes back to the bar and told the guy what happened. The guy replies" You think I asked for a footlong bic?"
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| Posted by Blondie B. Kewl on 11-Aug-2005 | WisconsinA Wisconsinite, a Minnesotan, and an Iowan were walking along the beach, when they spotted an old lamp half buried in the sand.
The Iowan bent over and picked it up, and began to rub the sand off of it.
As he did so, a genie popped out of the lamp, and said "I'll give you three wishes, one for each of you."
The Iowan said, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Iowa."
With a blink of the Genie's eye, "FOOM" the land in Iowa was forever made fertile for farming.
The Wisconsinite was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Wisconsin, so that no one can come into our precious state."
Again, with a blink of the genie's eye, 'POOF, there was a huge wall around Wisconsin.
The Minnesotan says, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, and nothing can get in or out."
The Minnesotan says, "Fill it up with water."
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| Posted by HeeHeeLady on 11-Aug-2005 | Prime MatesTwo gaymen [Bobby and Peter] are walking through a zoo. They come across the gorillas, and after a while they notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection. The gay men are fascinated by this. One of the men [Peter] just can't bear it any longer and he reaches into the cage to touch it.
The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and has his way with him for six hours nonstop. When he's done, the gorilla throws Peter back out of the cage
. An ambulance is called and Peter is taken away to the hospital.
The next day Bobby visits him in the hospital and asks, "Are you hurt?"
"AM I HURT?", Peter shouts, "Wouldn't you be? He hasn't called, he hasn't written......."
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| Posted by Red Fox on 11-Aug-2005 | Gotta Have FaithA priest, Baptist minister & a rabbi were having lunch when the priest & minister started talking about fishing. "you know, said the rabbi, I should take up fishing. Well, said the priest, come with us. We're going this afternoon." They're out in the boat fishing when suddenly the priest steps out of the boat & walks a few yards away & begins fishing. The rabbi is dumbfounded seeing the priest walk on water. A while later the minister joins the priest.The rabbi is shocked. Finally he thinks, "my faith is as strong as theirs. If they can walk on water so can I. He steps out of the boat & almost drowns. He struggles back in the boat. Soon, he tries again with the same result. The priest looks over at the minister & says, " ya think we should tell that stupid son of a bitch where the rocks are'?
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