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| Posted by Mr Leafy on 08-Aug-2005 | Pregnant LadyOne day a pregnant lady that was expecting triplets was walking through a gangster neighborhood, and was shot three times. When she went to the emergency room, the doctor said that she would live, but that the kids might experience complications as they got older.
Ten years later, the first kid came running down the stairs and said, "Mommy Mommy! Guess what? I pooped a bullet!"
A day or so later, the second kid came running down the stairs and said, "Mommy Mommy! Guess what? I pooped a bullet!"
The third kid come down the stairs and said, "Mommy Mommy! Guess what?"
She said, "Let me guess... You pooped a bullet?"
He said, "No, I was jacking off and I shot the dog."
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| Posted by todd pernerowski on 08-Aug-2005 | StutteringOne day a man went to the doctor's office with a stuttering problem.
"Hhhey dddocc, ccann yoou hhhelp mmmee wwwithh mmmmy st-st-uttering ppproblem?"
The doc replied, "Sure. Sit down."
The doctor then examined the man and in a low voice he told the man, "Your penis is so bit that the sheer weight of it is pulling on your vocal cords, and therefore causing you to stutter."
"Iiss ttthere aaannnyytthing tthat yyou ccan dddooo ttoo ffixxx iiit?", asked the man.
"I can surgically remove about 8 inches," replied the doctor.
The guy said, "Ddddoo wwhattever yyyou ccan tto hheelp mmme bbbeeccaauusse tthhis ststutterinngg iiss ddrrivviinngg mmee ccrrazzyy."
So the doc goes through with the opperation, and his stuttering stops. Two months later, the man comes back to the doctor's office with a question.
"Hey doc, the operation helped my stuttering, but my sex life sucks. Can you reverse the operation?"
The doc replies, "Fffforrrggettt itttt!"
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| Posted by Mini Me on 08-Aug-2005 | Yellow or WhiteWhy is cum white and urine yellow?
So you can tell if you're coming or going!
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| Posted by Ryan Warden on 08-Aug-2005 | Drug storeA guy goes to the drug store and asked for 99 condoms. The guy at the counter said, "Fuck me, that's a lot of condoms!"
The guy buying them said, "In that case, better make it 100."
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| Posted by Meggi-Poo on 08-Aug-2005 | the dadthis lady walks in the dentist and said is this gonna hurt and the dentist said "no its just a screw.
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| Posted by Cool Beans Girl on 09-Aug-2005 | What should I do then?Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up five more points?
Doctor: Sell!
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| Posted by Luis F. Tefonse on 09-Aug-2005 | I would like to havea second opinionA patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment for it.
Doctor: Your tonsils gotta come out.
Patient: I wanna second opinion.
Doctor: Okay, you're ugly, too.
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| Posted by Samantha kicks arse on 09-Aug-2005 | Would you please do me a favor?A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging.
Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?
Patient: Why? Docor, it wasn't all that bad this time.
Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the four o'clock ball game.
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| Posted by robert battle on 09-Aug-2005 | I want to lose some weightA man, seeking to lose some of his excess weight, visited the local doctor.
John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?
Doctor: Of course! Cut your head off.
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| Posted by Nymph on 09-Aug-2005 | We need to help these peopleA doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of an accident.
Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital now!
Nurse: What is it?
Doctor: It's a big building with a lot of doctors, but that's not important now!
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