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Office Jokes (7901):Medical Jokes (1211): Pregnant Lady


Posted by Mr Leafy on 08-Aug-2005

Pregnant Lady

One day a pregnant lady that was expecting triplets was walking through a gangster neighborhood, and was shot three times. When she went to the emergency room, the doctor said that she would live, but that the kids might experience complications as they got older.

Ten years later, the first kid came running down the stairs and said, "Mommy Mommy! Guess what? I pooped a bullet!"

A day or so later, the second kid came running down the stairs and said, "Mommy Mommy! Guess what? I pooped a bullet!"

The third kid come down the stairs and said, "Mommy Mommy! Guess what?"

She said, "Let me guess... You pooped a bullet?"

He said, "No, I was jacking off and I shot the dog."
   

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Office Jokes (7901):Medical Jokes (1211): Stuttering


Posted by todd pernerowski on 08-Aug-2005

Stuttering

One day a man went to the doctor's office with a stuttering problem.

"Hhhey dddocc, ccann yoou hhhelp mmmee wwwithh mmmmy st-st-uttering ppproblem?"

The doc replied, "Sure. Sit down."

The doctor then examined the man and in a low voice he told the man, "Your penis is so bit that the sheer weight of it is pulling on your vocal cords, and therefore causing you to stutter."

"Iiss ttthere aaannnyytthing tthat yyou ccan dddooo ttoo ffixxx iiit?", asked the man.

"I can surgically remove about 8 inches," replied the doctor.

The guy said, "Ddddoo wwhattever yyyou ccan tto hheelp mmme bbbeeccaauusse tthhis ststutterinngg iiss ddrrivviinngg mmee ccrrazzyy."

So the doc goes through with the opperation, and his stuttering stops. Two months later, the man comes back to the doctor's office with a question.

"Hey doc, the operation helped my stuttering, but my sex life sucks. Can you reverse the operation?"

The doc replies, "Fffforrrggettt itttt!"
   

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Office Jokes (7901):Medical Jokes (1211): Yellow or White


Posted by Mini Me on 08-Aug-2005

Yellow or White

Why is cum white and urine yellow?

So you can tell if you're coming or going!
   

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Office Jokes (7901):Medical Jokes (1211): Drug store


Posted by Ryan Warden on 08-Aug-2005

Drug store

A guy goes to the drug store and asked for 99 condoms. The guy at the counter said, "Fuck me, that's a lot of condoms!"

The guy buying them said, "In that case, better make it 100."
   

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Office Jokes (7901):Medical Jokes (1211): the dad


Posted by Meggi-Poo on 08-Aug-2005

the dad

this lady walks in the dentist and said is this gonna hurt and the dentist said "no its just a screw.
   

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Office Jokes (7901):Medical Jokes (1211): What should I do then?


Posted by Cool Beans Girl on 09-Aug-2005

What should I do then?

Patient: Doctor, what should I do if my temperature goes up five more points?

Doctor: Sell!


   

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Office Jokes (7901):Medical Jokes (1211): I would like to havea second opinion


Posted by Luis F. Tefonse on 09-Aug-2005

I would like to havea second opinion

A patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment for it.

Doctor: Your tonsils gotta come out.

Patient: I wanna second opinion.

Doctor: Okay, you're ugly, too.
   

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Office Jokes (7901):Medical Jokes (1211): Would you please do me a favor?


Posted by Samantha kicks arse on 09-Aug-2005

Would you please do me a favor?

A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging.

Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?

Patient: Why? Docor, it wasn't all that bad this time.

Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the four o'clock ball game.
   

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Office Jokes (7901):Medical Jokes (1211): I want to lose some weight


Posted by robert battle on 09-Aug-2005

I want to lose some weight

A man, seeking to lose some of his excess weight, visited the local doctor.

John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?

Doctor: Of course! Cut your head off.
   

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Office Jokes (7901):Medical Jokes (1211): We need to help these people


Posted by Nymph on 09-Aug-2005

We need to help these people

A doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of an accident.

Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital now!

Nurse: What is it?

Doctor: It's a big building with a lot of doctors, but that's not important now!
   

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