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Jokes about the News

We are all knowledgeable of the stuff Late Night shows tackle as part of their daily routine or programs. These shows ridicule the serious political and environmental issues that happen all around us everyday where ever we may be. They give a different light to the otherwise serious arena of political and world pressing issues making them humorous and entertaining. This allows us to become a bit at ease with them despite their serious implications in our everyday lives. Here at www.Funny-Jokes-Portal.com, we have a collection of Jokes about the News, whether from local, nationwide or global sources that shows the lighter side of life as we go on each and every day.

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Jokes about the News

Februaryn 30, 2007, Royters

Central Command in Iraq has noted that there has been a marked improvement in the security situation in the said country they invaded that they might be sending home troops in a very short time. This evaluation comes timely to the marked division of congress whether or not to send in more troops and sign a new increased budget that the President has filed before them. This comes as the OIC in charge of all Iraq security efforts reports his findings to a group of senators who have visited the area with him. The marked safety and security is very evident in the areas that the group visited where people walk and conduct business as if there were no violent acts being committed all around them.

The said inspection was the culmination of 3 month’s sweeps by the US Special Forces, marines, Army and Naval personnel. The numbers of the security that were posted during the said Security Evaluation had 75% of all American troops and war materiel moved into and around the surrounding areas where the said inspection was conducted. Not to mention the finding of 100 dead bodies that were found at different locations just outside the secure perimeter provided most of the American forces in Iraq.

In other news

A lengthy car chase ended when a car ran a speed trap and was chased for hours by police that ended thankfully enough peacefully with the suspect apprehended and taken into custody without much incident as he surrendered to Police. The chase took a couple of hours and involved some dozen Police Units and 2 Police helicopters around the city.

When asked by police, “ Why the hell did you run, you know you were going 50 km/h faster than the speed limit and that resistance was futile as was trying to loose us?”

The man answers, “ My tail lights were busted.”

“Why didn’t you just stop and tell us that in the first place?” asked police detectives who apprehended him.

He answers, “ Coz I didn’t want to get rear ended!!!”
NameRating
Lorena Bobbit in Car Accident10.0
John Bobbit's Dick8.33
I Cheated To Get To Heaven2.00
Princess Diana's Dandruff1.00
Jesus Is Watching1.00


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