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| Posted by Jimmy T on 09-Aug-2005 | Una hermosa mujer estaba paseandoUna hermosa mujer estaba paseando por un ?rea rural, cuando vio una huerta y se le ocurri? entrar. Ya dentro, encontr? una hermosa piscina y, como no se ve?a nadie alrededor, decidi? nada totalmente desnuda. As? que vio para todos lados, no vio a nadie y se desvisti?. Cuando estaba a punto de tirarse al agua, apareci? el due?o de la huerta, que hab?a estado escondido todo el tiempo detr?s de unos arbustos y le dijo que estaba prohibido nadar.
"?Pod?a haberme dicho eso antes de que me desvistiera!", le reclam? ella.
"?Est? prohibido nadar, pero no desvestirse!"
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| Posted by Boba Fett on 09-Aug-2005 | En la playa dos amigasEn la playa dos amigas est?n conversando:
"?Oh, querida, has rebajado mucho!"
"Es que mi marido me est? enga?ando con otra mujer".
"Entonces, ?div?rciate!"
"?Por ahora, no, quiero rebajar diez libras m?s!"
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| Posted by kirsten on 09-Aug-2005 | Llega un negrito del ChocoLlega un negrito del Choco y observa a su patrona desde un agujero de la puerta, mientras ?sta sale totalmente desnuda y se despereza diciendo: "Uuuuyy qu? modorra..."
El negro, admirado de escuchar el amplio l?xico de la patrona, se va inmediatamente para donde la negra que era su mujer y repite la escena que vio donde la patrona; mientras tanto la negra va saliendo y lo observa todo desnudo y le grita la negra:
"?Ay Jos? Mar?a, vos que haces todo viringote all?!"
Y le responde el negro, queriendo imitar a la patrona para llamar la atenci?n de la negra:
"?Uuuuyy, negra, es que tengo una gonorrea...!"
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| Posted by Hells Littlest Angel on 09-Aug-2005 | Erase una vez una personaErase una vez una persona jorobada, que iba caminando tranquilamente por la calle.
Un calvo la vio y le grit?:
"?Eh! ?Qu? llevas en la mochila?"}
A lo que el jorobado respondi?:
"?Tu peine, capullo!"
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| Posted by Nicole M. T on 09-Aug-2005 | Una pareja de raza negraUna pareja de raza negra decide impresionar en la fiesta de disfraces de unos amigos. El marido le pide a su mujer que se encargue de alquilarle un disfraz original... La mujer va a la tienda y le trae un disfraz de Batman.
"Pero mujer, ?c?mo se te ocurre traerme este disfraz? ?acaso has visto alguna vez un Batman negro?"
La mujer, muy contrariada, va en busca de otro disfraz... y le trae al marido un disfraz de Superman.
"Pero por Dios, a quien se le ocurre... primero de Batman, ahora de Superman... ?Cuando narices has visto un Superheroe negro? Anda vete a la tienda y que te lo cambien de inmediato."
La mujer que estaba hasta el gorro de su marido, y aprovechando que se encontraba en la ducha, le deja encima de la cama: tres botones blancos, un cintur?n blanco, y un palo de madera.
El marido al ver ese conjunto de elementos encima de la cama, y muy sorprendido le pregunta a su mujer:
"Pero bueno... ?qu? es todo esto?"
"Muy sencillo cari?ito... Si te pegas en el pecho los tres botones blancos puedes ir de ficha de domin?... o bien si prefieres te colocas el cintur?n y vas de Galleta Oreo... y si no te gusta ninguno, te puedes meter el palo de madera por el culo, y vas de Helado de Chocolate."
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| Posted by Pablo The Spicy Latin on 10-Aug-2005 | TatooDid you know that Rita McNeil has a tattoo of Canada on her butt?
Ya, every time she bends over Quebec separates!
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| Posted by Rick Bron on 14-Aug-2005 | Martian SexIt's the year 2389, and martian and earth couples are living
peacably side by side. One day, an earth couple and a martian
couple are having lunch and the subject of sex comes up. Because
the earth couple has so many questions, the couples decide to
swap partners for a week. A little later, the martian man and
the earthwoman are alone in a bedroom, getting undressed. When
the martian is naked, the woman is surprised that his penis is
only 1/2 inch long and a 1/2 inch wide.
"Hold on," says the martian, who slaps his face, which makes his
penis grow longer with each snap. "Oops, it's not wide enough
yet." He pulls his ears, and with each tug, his penis grows
wider. "All set!" he says, and the martian and the woman have
incredible, mind-blowing sex. Later, the woman meets up with her
husband, and asks him how it was.
"Well, it was fine. But I have a headache now because she kept
pulling my ears and slapping my face."
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| Posted by Damian T. Morland on 14-Aug-2005 | The TASTY penis one day there was a man that visited this hotel in some
place. he said to tell counter teller, "can I have the keys
to the first floor and can I have a jar of pickles to eat." ok
said the teller. "but you have to eat the pickles out on
your window platform." ok said the man.
the next day, another man came into the hotel and asked
the teller, "can i have the keys to the second floor and
can i have a pair of siccors because i like to cut hair." ok
said the teller. "but you have to cut hair on the
window platform." ok said the man.
the next day, another man came into the hotel and asked
the teller, "can i have the keys to the third floor and
can i have bottle of glue. i like to glue stuff together." ok
said the teller. "but you have to glue your stuff out on
the window platform." ok said the man.
the next day, another man came into the hotel and asked
the teller, "can i have the keys to the fourth floor
and can i have a can of green paint. i am going to paint my
things green. that's my favorite color." ok said the teller.
"but you have to paint your things out on the window platform.
ok said the man.
the next day, another man came into the hotel and asked
the teller, "can i have the keys to the fifth floor
and can i have a butcher's knife because i like to cut meet."
ok said the teller. "but you have to cut your meat out
on the window platform." ok said the man.
the next day, everyone was doing there thing out one the
window platform. the butcher was cutting meat when
accidental he cut of his man hood. it fell off his window
plantform and landed on the platform under his. that was
the green paint. it fell in the paint and fell on the platform
under the paint platform. so it fell in a little puddle of glue.
after that, the penis fell on to the window platform. that was
all the hair. after the penis fell into a pile of hair, the
penis fell onto
the next platform. which was the jar of pickles. right after
the penis fell into the jar of pickles, the man that slept
on that floor took the jar of pickles and picked out a pickle.
unfortenatly, the pickle the man picked out was not a pickle at
all.
the man did not know that. so when he picked out the fake
pickle, he bit it. and then he ate the whole thing.
still and forever, he did not know the pickle he picked out of
the pickle jar was a penis. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
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| Posted by Jennifer l. Meisel on 14-Aug-2005 | felling sickok this guy was eating this gurl out and he sow a pea and he was
like what is this and she said nutin keep going..
so he keeps on going and then he finds a carrot and he was like
what is this and she said again nuttin keep going....
so he keeps on eating her out and he finds a piece of beef and
he said what is this bitch and she said nuttin and he said no he
said are you fucking sick so something she said no my last
boyfriend was.........
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| Posted by Lucky A. Shorty on 14-Aug-2005 | not what U thinkQ: what's long, hard and filled with seimen.
A: A submarine. (seimen=seamen)
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