|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Amanda L. Trella on 14-Aug-2005 | 'Twas the night before Christmas'Twas the night before Christmas in Old Kandihar,
And Osama Bin Laden felt far below par
For he'd been on the run since the day when the Yanks
Had first littered the landscape with the planes and the
tanks
That Osama's buddies, those fierce Taliban kind,
Were supposed to be using to protect his behind.
So he put on his turban and took to his bed,
While visions of cruise missiles danced in his head.
Then up on the roof there arose such a clatter,
He sprang to his feet to see what was the matter,
And what to his wondering eyes did appear
But two squads of marines, in full battle gear.
And Taliban bodies flew left and flew right.
As they yelled 'Semper Fi!' and 'oo-rahed' in delight
And as two marines burst into the room,
He peed himself, because he knew they spelled doom.
"Death to the Infidel!" Osama cried,
"You've got it, buddy," the grunts both replied
And bullets arrived in torrents and showers,
That left less of him than he'd left of the towers.
"oh, shit," was his last thought as his spleen it was diced.
At least my soul's headed straight to paradise,
But the heavenly streets made his soul's face turn green
'Cause the whole place was guarded by US Marines!
|
1 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Rani Patel on 14-Aug-2005 | Bush and OsamaOne day, Bush was talking with Osama Binladen on the phone, they
couldn't trace from where the call was coming from, but Osama
said,
"I've got good news and bad news."
Bush replied, "What's the good news?"
"I'm turning myself in," said Osama. "But the bad news is, I'm
coming on a plane
|
2 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Judge Fu on 14-Aug-2005 | Afghani TVTHIS WEEK ON AFGHANI PRIME-TIME TV
Sunday
7 PM - I Dream of Fatima
8 PM - The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show
9 PM - Husseinfeld
10 PM - Mad About Everything
Monday
7 PM - Wheel of Terror
8 PM - Suddenly, Sanctions
9 PM - Allah McBeal
10 PM - Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers
Tuesday
7 PM - The Price is Right if Osama Says Its Right
8 PM - Buffy, the Capitalist Camel Slayer
9 PM - Two Guys, a Girl and a Pita Bread
10 PM - U.S. Military Secrets Revealed
Wednesday
7 PM - Talibantubbies
8 PM - Children are Forbidden to Say the Darndest Things
9 PM - When Northern Alliance Attack
10 PM - Twin Sheiks
Thursday
7 PM - M*U*S*T*A*S*H
8 PM - Little Cave on the Desert
9 PM - Veilwatch
10 PM - Just Shoot Everyone
Friday
7 PM - Kaptain Kabul
8 PM - Jawid Loves Chachi
9 PM - Hanging with Mr. Hijacker
10 PM - Burqua's Law
Saturday
7 PM - Jihad Joe
8 PM - Everybody Loves Osama
9 PM - This Old Tent
10 PM - No Witness News
|
2 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Nadia Issa on 14-Aug-2005 | TerroristsHow can you tell the difference between the Taliban boys and the
Taliban men?
When the boys become men they take their diapers off their asses
and stick them on their heads.
|
6 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Rita R. Mccarty on 14-Aug-2005 | Spell it for a Cookie..!The bell rings and Billy and Sally, along with all the other
kids run through the classroom door. They all sit down in their
seats.
The teacher goes up to Sally and asks, "Sally what did you do
today at recess?" And Sally says happily." I played in the sand
box." The teacher then says,"If you can go up to the board and
spell SAND, then I will give you a fresh baked cookie. The Sally
goes up to the board and spells SAND and recieves a fresh baked
cookie.
The the teacher goes up to Billy and asks, "Billy, what did you
do at recess?" Billy replies,"I played in the sand box with
Sally." The teacher replies, "OK, well if you can go up to the
board and spell BOX,then I will give you a fresh baked cookie.
Billy goes up to th board and spells BOX, then recieves a fresh
baked cookie.
The teacher moves on to Apu (a small muslim boy) and asks, "What
did you do today at recess?" Apu brushes the tears aside and
replies in a sad voice, "Billy and Sally threw rocks at me!" The
teacher looks at him and says, "Oh, well that sounds like racial
discrimination to me.............
if you can go up to the board and spell racial dicrimination,
I'll give you a fresh baked cookie..."
|
5 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Richard Amezquita on 14-Aug-2005 | Indian's Hair CutOne day a Florist goes for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to
pay the Barber and the barber replies: 'I am Sorry, I cannot
accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service'. The
Florist is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning the
Barber goes to open his shop, there is a Thank you Card and a
dozen roses waiting at his door. A Cop goes for a haircut and he
also goes to pay the Barber and the barber replies: 'I am Sorry,
I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service'.
The Cop is happy and leaves the shop. The next morning when the
Barber goes to open his shop, there is a Thank you Card and a
dozen Donuts waiting at his door. An Indian goes for a haircut
and he also goes to pay the Barber and barber replies; 'I'm
Sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community
Service'. The next morning when the Barber goes to open his
shop, Guess what he finds there - A dozen Indians waiting for a
free haircut......
|
4 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Jennifer Tanko on 14-Aug-2005 | RetaliationWhat to do if you fall in a conversation with someone over the
terrorist attacks who doesn't believe in retaliation.
1.Engage in a conversation, and ask if military force is
appropriate.
2.When he says "NO," ask, "Why not?"
3.Wait untill he says something to the effect of "Because that
would just cause more innocent deaths, which would be awful and
we shouldn't cause more violence.
4.When he is mid-sentence, punch him in the face as hard as you
can.
5.When he gets back up to punch you, point out that it would be
a mistake and contrary to his values to strike you, because that
would be awful and he shouldn't cause more violence.
6.Wait till he agrees, and has pledged not to commit additional
violence.
7. Punch him in the face again, harder this time.
REPEAT STEPS 5 THROUGH 7 UNTIL HE UNDERSTANDS THAT SOMETIMES
IT'S NECESSARY TO STRIKE BACK!
|
3 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Scavenger. on 14-Aug-2005 | Spitting in the ShoesTwo Arabs boarded a shuttle out of Washington for New York. One
sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just
before take-off a fat, little Jewish guy got on and took the
aisle seat next to the Arabs. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled
his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat
said, "I think I'll go up and get a Coke." (Shuttle flights do
not have cabin attendants, but you probably knew that.) "No
problem," said the Jew. "I'll get it for you." While he was gone
the Arab picked up the Jew's shoe and spit in it.
The Jew brought back the coke, when the other Arab said, "That
looks good. Think I'll have one too." Again, the Jew obligingly
goes to fetch it, and while he is gone the Arab picks up the
other shoe and spits in it.
The Jew returns with the coke, and they all sit back and enjoy
the short flight. When the plane was landing the Jew slipped his
feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. "How
long must this go on?" he asked. "This enmity between our
peoples ...this hatred...your spitting in my shoes and me
pissing in your Coke?"
|
3 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by look out! on 14-Aug-2005 | Afganistan BoyHow can you tell when an Afghanistan boy becomes and Afghanistan
man?
He takes the diaper off his ass and puts it on his head.
|
10 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Rik Jordan on 14-Aug-2005 | George Bush and OsamaOne day, george bush and osama bin laden had a meeting about
peace in afghanastan. They were talking about peace and fairness
when osama pushed a button and a fist came out and punched
george. He pretended not to notice and they kept talking when
osama pushed the second button and a fist came out and punched
him on the face. Again they pretended not to notice and went on.
Finally, osama pushed the third button and it jabbed bush on the
nuts and this time, Bush got up and told osama " meeting over,
tommorrow we are going to have another meeting in america.
So the next day, they were in d.c and talking when bush
pressed the first button, osama saw this and jumped ten feet
high but nothing happened and bush started to giggle. Later, He
pressed the second button and osama jumped up and shrieked, but
still nothing happened and now bush was cracking up. They kept
on going and Bush pressed the third button and this time osama
ran around in circles jumping and yelling, but still nothing
happened and now bush was on the floor laughing and osama had
enough so he said "that's it i'm going back to afghanastan " and
bush goes "what afghanastan?"
|
2 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
