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| Posted by Doran m. Langley on 14-Aug-2005 | Dirty WalOne day little Bill's parets were having a party. The family
was very busy so his mom told him to go play outside, but DON'T
go anywhere near the Dirty Wall. Bill goes to play and goes to
the dirty wall, disobeying his mother. While at the wall he
sees the word "shit" so he goes back to his house and asks his
brother Matt what the word meant," er....um... the word
means...ummm.... food, yes food, shit means food." says his 19
year old brother, so he says ok bye and goes back to the wall.
now he sees the word "assholes" so he goes home and asks is
sister Kirsty what assholes meant, " umm...it means...um...
people, ya thats it people, but if anyone asks i never told you"
so he says ok and goes back to the wall, he sees "fucking" so he
asks his cousin, what does fucking mean, his cousin goes baserk,
but says " umm u shouldnt know this but umm, lets just say it
means getting ready, yes it means GETTING READY! he says okay
and right when he was gonna go back to the dirty wall for the
fourth time the guests arive, his mom, yelling from upstairs,
tells him to open the door, and he says," Hello assholes, my
name is Bill your probably coming for the party, well my mom and
dad are upstairs fucking but they'll be down here in a few
minutes cause they've been up there for hours! Anyway there's
some really good shit on the table that my mom made before she
started fucking with my dad that you can eat and they'll be down
any minute now."
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| Posted by Beth A. Harris on 14-Aug-2005 | MiamiThere is a tharapy calss for men who stutter. The teacher is a
very beautiful young woman. So the calss is for 1 year only, and
by the time that year is up, the three men who are in the class
will no longer stutter. Well, about 11 months went by and the
men were not stuttering as much. So in the 12th month, the woman
says,"well, this whole thing is almost over and you still
stutter. I know how i can get you to stop. I will ask you where
you're from, and if you can tell me the city without stuttering,
i will have mad sex with you."
The next class the woman asks the first man,"what city were you
born in?" The man says," Nnnnnnew Yyyyyorrk."
She asks the second man,"what city do you live in now?"
The man replies,"Pppppittsbbbburg."
She asks the third man, "Where do you live now?"
The third man says,"Miami..."
They then make mad love for hours.
After they're done, the man says,"Bbbbeach."
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| Posted by Da MaN D on 14-Aug-2005 | SnowAUG 12 Moved to our new home in upstate New York. It is so
beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait
to see them with snow on them. I love it here.
OCT 14 Upstate New York is the most beautiful place on earth.
The leaves are turned all the colors and shades of red and
orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful mountains and saw
some deer. They are so graceful, certainly they are the most
wonderful animal on earth. This must be paradise. I love it here.
NOV 11 Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone
wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow
soon. I love it here.
DEC 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed
with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and
cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had
a snowball fight (I won), and when the snow plow came by, we had
to shovel again. What a beautiful place. I love upstate New York.
DEC 12 More snow last night. I love it. The snow plow did his
trick again to the driveway. I love it here!
DEC 19 More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to
get to work. I am exhausted from shoveling. Fucking snow plow.
DEC 22 More of that white shit fell last night. I've got
blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snow plow hides
around the curve and waits until I'm done shoveling the
driveway. Asshole!
DEC 25 Merry Fucking Christmas! More friggin snow. If I ever get
my hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives that snow plow, I
swear I'll kill the bastard. Don't know why they don't use more
salt on the roads to melt the fucking ice.
DEC 27 More white shit last night. Been inside for 3 days except
for shoveling out the driveway after that snow plow goes through
every time. Can't go anywhere, car's stuck in a mountain of
white shit. The weatherman says to expect another 10" of the
shit again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow
10" is?
DEC 28 The fucking weatherman was wrong. We got 34" of that
white shit this time. At this rate it won't melt before next
summer. The snow plow got stuck up the road and that bastard
came to the door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him
I had broken six shovels already shoveling all the shit he
pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one over his fucking
head.
JAN 4 Finally out of the house today. Went to the store to get
food and on the way back a damned deer ran in front of the car
and I hit it. Did about $3,000 damage to the car. Those fucking
beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all
last November.
MAY 3 Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the
thing is rusting out from that fucking salt they put all over
the road.
MAY 10 Moved to Georgia. I can't imagine why anyone in their
right mind would want to live in that God-forsaken state of New
York.
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| Posted by Jon C. Phillips on 14-Aug-2005 | Hogs Of TradeBill Clinton is getting off a helicopter just infront of the
White House. 10,000 people are stood outside welcoming the
return of Bill from abroad.
Bill has two pigs, one under each arm.
A man in the crowd catches his attention and says, "Nice pigs
sir."
Bill smiles and says, "These aren't pigs. These are Arkansas
Razorback Hogs. I got one for Hilary and one for Chelsea."
The man repies, "Nice trade Sir."
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| Posted by Sonya M. Hamilton on 14-Aug-2005 | Location"Places I'd Rather Not Live In..."
Paradox, New York
Crapo, Maryland
Boogertown, North Carolina
Spasticville, Kansas
Hellhole, Idaho
Purgatory, Maine
What would Freud say about...
Climax, Michigan
Spread Eagle, Wisconsin
Needmore, Arkansas (Clinton's Home Town?)
Hardup, Utah
Big Bogue Homo, Mississippi
Intercourse, Pennsylvania
Hornytown, North Carolina
Conception Junction, Missouri
It doesn't surprise me that there is a...
Rudeville, New Jersey
Boring, Oregon
Hell, Michigan
Hooker, California
Virgin, Utah
Dulls Corner, Maryland
Bowlegs, Oklahoma
Volcano, Hawaii
Beersville, Pennsylvania
Fleatown, Ohio
Burnt Corn, Alabama
Two Guns, Arizona
Toad Suck, Arkansas
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| Posted by Dolly on 14-Aug-2005 | Democrat PupsOne day a teacher announced to her 1st grade class that a
Democrat senator was coming in three weeks.
"Is there anything you all want to tell him?"
One little girl raised her hand.
"Yes, Susie?"
"Well, my dog just had puppies and they are ALL Democrates."
"Wonderful!"
So finally he came and the teacher said "Susie, what did you
want to tell the senator?"
"Well, my dog had puppies three weeks ago."
"And what are they?"
"They're ALL Republican!"
"Susie, you told me they were all Democrates."
"Yes, well, that was three weeks ago. They have their eyes open
now."
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