American Jokes

Americans are considered to be the premier promoter of democracy on this planet. No wonder they have a presence and are member of every imaginable world economic or political groups. Some scorn and others praise, whatever your view of the American lifestyle, these American Jokes would surely get you laughing. You might hate them and you might love them, any which way, the aim is happiness and that is the way to peace.

www.Funny-Jokes-Portal.com, has the largest collection of jokes and other funny stuff on the web and yes there is a section totally dedicated to American Jokes. The culture of America is a hodgepodge of many cultures that has evolved into a unique culture of it’s own. Many a culture has influences that can be traced way back to the early days of the country and this can be seen on the streets and of course in these following pages. Americans are considered to be some of the best businessmen around and when it comes to making money, they rule. They have a knack for getting it right when it comes to business matters and of course becoming topic to many a jokes. See for yourself as you browse through the many jokes and other funny stuff we have in our collection.

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American Jokes

An American Border Patrol agent catches a man in some bushes trying to illegally enter the United States. He tells the guy, “ I’m very sorry sir, but you’ll have to return to your country over the border.”

The Mexican pleads with him, “ Nooo senor, I must stay in de USA! Pleases!”

The border agent thinks and says, “ Okay, but only if you can use three english words that I’ll give you in one sentence.”

The agent again thinks and says, “ The three words are, Green, Pink and Yellow.”

“Hmmm, that is a hard one senor”

Thinks a couple of more minutes and says,” Ok, The phone went green, green, green, I pink it up and say yellow.”

Three men were caught by cannibal while exploring a remote part of Papua New Guinea. They were brought to the king who tells them they were to be killed and their skins dried and used to make canoes. But being men, I will give you the option of weapons by which you will kill yourself(So he does not loose aid from their governments).

The first man, a Frenchman is asked by the chief, “ You, what weapon do you choose?”

“I’d choose a sword,” he says. So he is given one and he shouts, “Vive Le France” and impales himself with the weapon and dies.

The second man, an Englishman is asked next by the chief , “ You, what weapon do you choose?”

“I’d choose a gun,” so he is given one and shouts “God Bless the Queen” just as he pulls the trigger and blows his head off killing himself instantly.

The third man, an American is asked next by the chief , “ You, what weapon do you choose?”

“I’d choose a fork,” puzzled the chief thinks but orders him to be given a fork.

The New Yorker, grabs the fork and stabs himself repeatedly all over his body and bleeds profusely as he dies slowly.

The chief, frightened, asks him, “ What in God’s name are you doing?”

Before he dies, the new Yorker says, “ Too much for your damned canoe you crazy cannibal.”
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