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| Posted by My Stuff on 14-Aug-2005 | Page Of Blond JokesWhy does a blonde only change her baby's diapers once a month?
Because the label says, Good for up to 20 pounds.
Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
To protect their skulls as their heads rock left and right.
How do you kill a blonde?
Put spikes in her shoulder pads.
Why do blondes have more fun?
Because they don't know any better.
What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
You only have to put information into a computer once.
How does a blonde do a High-Five?
She smacks herself in the forehead.
Why do blondes wear their hair up?
To try and catch everything that's over their heads.
What do you call a bunch of blondes in a circle?
A dope ring.
Why don't blondes eat pickles?
Their heads always get stuck in the jar.
Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid?
Because they can't fit 8 cups of water into those little
packages.
What did the blonde call her zebra?
Spot.
Why do blondes hate the G.E.D.?
Because they can't spell it.
How do you get a blonde to climb up on the roof?
Tell her that the drinks are on the house.
What's a blonde's favorite T-shirt slogan?
I'm a natural blonde, please speak slowly.
What's the definition of gross ignorance?
144 blondes.
Why did the blonde freeze in the winter?
Because she went to the drive-in to see Closed for the Season.
Why can't blondes be pharmacists?
Because they can't get the bottles into the typewriter.
What do you call an intelligent blonde?
A golden retriever.
Why do blondes wear a ponytail?
To hide the valve stem.
How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
She has a checkbook.
What is the only job a blonde can do in an M&M factory?
Proofreading.
Why would a blonde wear green lipstick?
Because red means Stop.
What do blondes and cow pies have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
What is the mating call of a blonde?
I'm soooo drunk!
What is the mating call of an ugly blonde?
I said, Oh, I'm drunk!
What is the mating call of a brunette?
Is that @$#&! blonde gone yet?
Why do blondes always fail driver's tests?
Every time the car stops, they hop in the back seat.
What did the blonde's mom say before her daughter went out on a
date?
If you're not in bed by 10 PM, come home!
What does a blonde use for birth control?
Brown hair-dye.
What are the first two things that a blonde does in the morning?
1. She introduces herself. 2. She goes home.
How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a round room and tell her to pee in the corner.
How does a blonde confuse you?
She tells you she did.
One day, a blonde was driving to California. On the way, she saw
a sign that said, Clean Restrooms Ahead. By the time she finally
reached the coast, she had scrubbed and polished 68 of them.
Blondes are too biased. It's always, "Buy us this, buy us that!"
I once knew a suicidal blonde, she dyed by her own hands.
What's the difference between a blonde and the Atlantic Coast?
The Atlantic Coast would never have that many crabs.
What's the difference between a blonde and a taxi cab?
You have to pay to ride in a taxi cab.
What is the difference between a blonde and the local football
team?
The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
Because they can't even keep two calves together!
What is the difference between a circus and a group of blondes?
At the circus you'll find a cunning array of stunts.
What did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in
her urine?
She peed on her corn flakes.
What did the blind blonde say to her new boyfriend as she was
making love to him?
"That's funny, you don't feel Jewish."
What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming
vase?
"It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."
How does a blonde commit suicide?
She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
How do you plant dope?
Bury a blonde.
How does a blonde measure his/her IQ?
With a tire gauge!
How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
A1: She drops her nail-file!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She says, "Next".
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
A6: I mean, who really cares?
A7: The batteries have run out.
How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard
How can you tell if a blonde has had a good night?
Her undies will stick to the wall.
How do you confuse a blond?
You don't, they're born that way.
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| Posted by Erik Allermann on 14-Aug-2005 | pakki lesbianWhat do u call a pakki lesbian???????????/
Minge eatter
What do u call a pakki stuk between 2 houses?????????????????
Ali
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| Posted by John C. Cano on 10-Aug-2005 | GaptoothThe gap between your teeth is so big, I don't know whether to smile back at
you or kick a field goal.
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| Posted by Kristina L. Bahn on 14-Aug-2005 | What is the difference between roadkill and a deadThere's skidmarks infront of the roadkill!!
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| Posted by crazylilmiz on 08-Aug-2005 | Bunch of Yo Mamma JokesSome of you may not find these at all funny but their is defintely a demographic that loves them. We decided to just collect as many as possible and throw them all onto one page. Enjoy!
Yo mamma's so fat she had her ears pierced by harpoon.
Yo mamma's so fat her clothes have stretch marks.
Yo mamma's so fat she needs a watch on both arms because she covers two time zones.
Yo mamma's so fat, she has two stomaches...one for meats and one for vegetables.
Yo mamma's so fat she needs a hula hoop to keep up her socks.
Yo mamma's so fat when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
Yo mamma's so fat, she sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo mamma's so fat, her belt size is equator.
Yo mamma's so fat, when she fell in love she broke it.
Yo mamma's so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mamma's so fat, every time she puts an apple in her mouth people try to roast her.
Yo mamma's so fat, when she turns around they throw her a welcome back party.
Yo mamma's so fat, she had her baby pictures taken by satellite.
Yo mamma's so fat she was baptized in Sea World.
Yo mamma's so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
Yo mamma's so fat, when she went to the beach, she's the only one who got a tan.
Yo mamma's so fat your bathtub has stretch marks.
Yo mamma's so fat she's on both sides of your family.
Yo mamma's so fat she's like the Bermuda Traingle; when kids run around her they get lost.
Yo mamma's so fat, when I got on top of her my ears popped.
Yo mamma's so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas.
Yo mamma's so fat, they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Yo mamma's so fat, when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.
Yo mamma's so fat, she has her own area code.
Yo mamma's so fat, they ahd to grease the bathtub to get her out.
Yo mamma's so fat, when she bungee jumps she brings down the bridge too.
Yo mamma's so fat, when she bends over we lose an hour of daylight.
Yo mamma's so fat, Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction.
Yo mamma's so fat, when her beeper went off, they thought she was backing up.
Yo mamma's so fat she shows up on radar.
Yo mamma's so fat, she has more chins than the Hong Kong phone book.
Yo mamma's so fat, her high school year book picture was an aerial picture.
Yo mamma's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
Yo mamma's so fat, her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.
Yo mamma's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
Yo mamma's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
Yo mamma's so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor.
Yo mamma's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.
Yo mamma's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
Yo mamma's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
Yo mamma's so fat, her ass has it's own congressman.
Yo mamma's so fat, when she goes to the circus she sees the big top and asks "Where can I try that on?"
Yo mamma's so fat, when she leaves the beach everybody shouts "The coast is clear."
Yo mamma's so fat, when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she couldn't identify them.
Yo mamma's so fat, she went on a seafood diet... Whenever she saw food she ate it.
Yo mamma's so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
Yo mamma's so stupid she can't pass a blood test.
Yo mamma's so stupid that when she swam accross the East River, she got tired half way and swam back!
Yo mamma's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead, because she wanted to make up her mind.
Yo mamma's so dumb she stole free cheese.
Yo mamma's so dumb she asked for a price check at the $2 shop.
Yo mamma's so stupid that when I asked her to buy me a color TV she asked "What color?"
Yo mamma's so dumb, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo mamma's so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super-Bowl.
Yo mamma's so dumb, she locked herself in a motorcycle.
Yo mamma's so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
Yo mamma's so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone.
Yo mamma's so dumb it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
Yo mamma's so dumb, she got locked in a supermarket overnight and died of starvation.
Yo mamma's so dumb, when the sign said "Don't Walk", she froze and got hit by a bus.
Yo mamma's so stupid, she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese.
Yo mamma's so dumb, on the job application where it said "sign here," she wrote "Aquarius."
Yo mamma's so dumb she tried to drown a fish.
Yo mamma's so dumb she put ice cubes in the freezer to keep the refrigerator cold.
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| Posted by Kenneth Tai on 10-Aug-2005 | BaldnessAre you really that bald or is your neck just blowing a bubble?
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| Posted by Princess Leia on 10-Aug-2005 | The Comeback SupremoIf I wanted any lip from you, I would jiggle my zipper!
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| Posted by Jaiva on 10-Aug-2005 | Yo Mama Road SignYo' mama so dumb, she waited at a STOP sign until it said GO!
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| Posted by Candy Dee on 14-Aug-2005 | Oj Simpsons websiteDo you know Ojs website?
WWW./////.bitch u aint dead yet.com
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| Posted by MaZter0fNtrigue on 14-Aug-2005 | Should I buy this ring for her?"I would like to buy my girlfriend a ring but I don't know what
she'd like."
"Does she like you?"
"Of course!"
"Then she'd like anything."
By Sanja gypsygirl@wog.com.au
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