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| Posted by Jay H. Churchill on 09-Aug-2005 | A BBS Commandment22. Thou shalt not ask stupid questions that are already fully explained in the BBS instructions.
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| Posted by caryline kelly on 14-Aug-2005 | Jeopardy categories no one wanted to seeToe cheeses of Europe
Songs about inflammation
First awful attempts at baking by pre-teen girls
Other sexual positions for dogs
Hitler's grooming utensils
Granny's fluids
Other people's great sex lives
Accidents with lawn care equipment
We hate to have to inform you of....
Death metal lullabies
Political views of actors & pop musicians
Gilbert Gottfried's operatic interpretations
Brilliant philosophies of Usenet
Love poetry of pederast priests
Why Madonna is a bitch
Psychiatric ward checker matches of Austria
Customized 9-iron handles
Cavalcade of nausea
Alternate heroin injection sites
Snotty New York waiters
Why Frasier & Niles Crane should be sodomized hard
Body hair of Russian athletes
Frilly undergarments of macho military leaders
That pale, sweaty guy next door who stares at you a lot
Microwave oven mishaps
Adventures in Ritalin
Tax code jubilee
How to nurse a baby orangutang
Name that smell
From a roach's point of view
Nasty electrical jolts
Bondage oopsies
That's not chewing gum
Festival of rohypnal
Unintelligible help desk operators of India
Fun with sinuses
Sadistic executive staff policies
Potty training can be fun
Witty come-ons from drunks
People who should never streak
People who should never play Twister
People who should just stay home
People you'd kill with an axe if no one was looking
Buddhism for Klansmen
Love tips of cell block 8
When the USDA looks the other way
Popular DEA agents
FBI informants
RIAA love muffins
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| Posted by Jenna L. Reed on 14-Aug-2005 | The Top 13 Least Popular Scented Candles13. Vanilla Mr. Bean
12. Whiff o' Limbaugh
11. Dingleberry
10. Morning Breath
9. Haggis
8. Eau de Ron Jeremy
7. Essence of Stained Cocktail Dress
6. Asparagus Tinkle
5. Chicken Pot Pie-Berry
4. Grandpa's Air Biscuits
3. Springtime in Jersey
2. Looooove Gravy
1. Yesterday's Chili Festival
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| Posted by kisa kisa on 14-Aug-2005 | Worst Things To Hear At A Nuclear Power Plant1. Fission shmission, relax, I'll increase the water level after my coffee break.
2. Was that "Open valve A and close valve B" or was it the other way round?
3. This whole plant will be running under Win95 tomorrow.
4. HEY! Is smoke coming out of the core normal?
5. Who forgot to pay the water bill?
6. We got 12 seconds to WHAT????
7. Meet your new plan superintendent: Bozo the clown.
8. A leak? Can't you fix it with duct tape or something?
9. Oh yeah! 50 bucks says I can make it blow.
10. It's Russian technology.
11. Move over Three Mile Island - here we come !!!
12. Sniff, sniff.... you smell that?
13. I used to work at Chernobyl.
14. All the way to the RIGHT, not LEFT you dummy!
15. It's your turn to wax the core.
16. How come all the big shots are leaving?
17. Is that a 60 minute film crew out there?
18. Is this part really necessary?
19. OF COURSE I went to high school. Didn't finish it, though.
20. Look at the good news: we are going to find out whether people actually glow in the dark.
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| Posted by Michael Gailling on 14-Aug-2005 | Only in America...Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance...
Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink...
Only in America...do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke...
Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters...
Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage...
Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place...
Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight...
Only in America...do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "blood-sucking creatures"...
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| Posted by Evan Hawbaker on 08-Aug-2005 | poorYour mama is so poor that when I walked in your backyard and stepped on a cochroach, she said, "Thanks for killing dinner."
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| Posted by Hanna Roze on 09-Aug-2005 | Fun to do during an examYou should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.
40. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
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| Posted by I don't have a penis on 14-Aug-2005 | The Top 13 Rejected Global Disaster Movie Premises13. "Mitzi the Kitten Goes Postal"
12. "Armageddon '98" -- A giant chunk of Bill Gates's wallet breaks loose and threatens to destroy the earth!
11. "Starring Kevin Costner!"
10. A gigantic bolt of inter-stellar chintz hurtles toward to earth threatening to drape the entire planet in *last* year's color.
9. "Coffee Shortage!"
8. Mysterious geological forces speed up the Earth's rotation, flinging everybody off into space -- except a group of research scientists in Antarctica, who just get incredibly dizzy.
7. "Acnephobia" -- Where will the next one pop up?!
6. "Starbuck Wars" -- Luke Warmwater uses the Dark Roast to save the galaxy from over-priced espresso
5. "Flat Grape Fanta!"
4. "Parmageddon" -- Desperate chefs race to prepare a mammoth bowl of pasta to thwart a mile-wide cheese boulder hurtling toward Earth.
3. "The Day the List Stood Still"
2. "Killer Bugs" -- Handsome computer programmers endure 12 hour work days, risking Carpel Tunnel Syndrome, to save Earth (and a group of buxom supermodels) from deadly bugs from Galaxy Y2K.
1. Fran Drescher in: "Megaphone!"
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