|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Wei Gu on 13-Aug-2005 | 20 Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmate20 Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmate
------------------------------------------
1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, 'May I borrow a highlighter?'
2. Say, 'Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that.'
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, 'Damn, this water's cold.'
5. Drop a marble and say, 'Oh shit! My glass eye!'
6. Say, 'Hmmm, I've never seen that color before.'
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, 'Now how did that get there?'
9. Say, 'Humus. Reminds me of humus.'
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, 'Whoa! Easy boy!'
11. Say, 'Interesting... more floaters than sinkers.'
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, 'Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?'
13. Say, 'C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me.'
14. Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about.
Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettucine alfredo you had for breakfast.
15. Say, 'Boy, that sure looks like a maggot.'
16. Say, 'Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?'
17. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
18. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your 'Cross-Dressers Anonymous' newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
19. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, 'Peek-a-boo!'
20. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing 'Born Free'.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by foxee sexee chik on 13-Aug-2005 | more humor1. Depression is merely anger without enthuiasm
2. Eagles may soar, but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines
3. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol
4. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
5. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane
6. Everyone has a photographic memory. However, some do not have film.
7. So do you think you know it all. What is the speed of the dark?
8. Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet
soup.
9. I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
10. Why does Sea World have a seafood resturant. I am halfway through my
Fishburger and I realize I could be eating a slow learner!!!
11. Many people quit looking for a job when they find work.
12. Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines
13. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
cheese.
I always wondered???????
1. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
2. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
3. How do I set my laser printer on stun?
4. How is it possible to have a civil war?
5. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
6. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
7. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
8. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
9. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
10. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
11. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
12. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
13. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
14. What happens when none of your bees wax?
15. If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane
crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
16. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
17. If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't
everyone just move 10 miles away
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Invisible Wings on 09-Aug-2005 | Reason to stay at work all night1. Act out your version of a company takeover.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Eric J. Herboso on 08-Aug-2005 | Top 10 dumb blonde inventions1) The waterproof towel
2) Solar powered torch
3) Submarine screen door
4) A book on how to read
5) Inflatable dart board
6) A dictionary index
7) Ejector seat in a helicopter
8) Powdered water
9) Pedal-powered wheel chair
10) Waterproof tea bag
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by andrew leworthy on 09-Aug-2005 | Reason to stay at work all night3. Around 3:20am, play connect-the-dots with lights still on in other office buildings. Keep going until you see a small woodland creature.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Brian m. Spillner on 09-Aug-2005 | Fun to do during an examYou should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.
9. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Jared A. Bassette on 09-Aug-2005 | Fun to do during an examYou should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.
24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Forget this!" and walk out triumphantly.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Hugo d. Padilla on 09-Aug-2005 | A BBS Commandment8. Thou shalt spell thy words correctly when ever possible.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Jane F. Pane on 09-Aug-2005 | Ways to be annoying in computer labs11. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
12. Type on VAX for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.
13. Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as if they're crazy while typing.
14. Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.
15. Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say, "Oops, I forgot."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Billy Bob on 09-Aug-2005 | Fun to do during an examYou should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.
10. Bring pets.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
