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| Posted by Faisal Moussly on 11-Aug-2005 | StrawbreyAman walks into a doctors and says
"Doctor,Doctor i have a strewbery stuck up my ass"
The doctor replies
"Here have some cream".
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| Posted by Fred L. Abney on 11-Aug-2005 | The picklejar jokeTheres this guy who sells knives by acsident he thruw a k nife down a building and it cuts of a guys dick and then the guys dick falls into green paint and i t fell into a pickle jar and a lady bought that jar she ate all of them and she came back and she said all those pickles where delicous especialy the hairy one.
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| Posted by Frank Geritano on 11-Aug-2005 | Burger King JokeThere were three jazz players getting ready for a concert. One got done early so he went to a Burger King. He went up to the manager who got mad easily and said,"I want a burger 2,3,4, a juicy burger 2,3,4, not too juicy and not too plain in the grove 2,3,4, in the grove 2,3,4." The manager decided not to let this guy bother him. Now the second jazz player comes in and says,"I want some fries 2,3,4, some salty fries 2,3,4, not too salty and not too plain in the grove 2,3,4, in the grove 2,3,4." Now the manager is mad and says,"If one more person comes in here and sings that stupid joke I'm going to scream!" So the third jazz player comes in and says,"I want a soda 2,3,4, a fizzy soda 2,3,4, not too fizzy and not too plain in the grove 2,3,4, in the grove 2,3,4. Now the manager is furious and turns around, takes off his apron and says,"Kiss my butt 2,3,4, my hairy butt 2,3,4, not to the left and not to the right in the grove 2,3,4, in the grove 2,3,4!
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| Posted by Recai Yalgin on 11-Aug-2005 | english, irishman, scotsman jokeThere was an englishman irishman and a scotsman who worked on a buildin site.
it was time for their dinner so the englishman opened his bait box and said "if i get cheese sandwiches tommorrow i will throw myself off that bridge" the scotsman and irishman say the same
so the next day comes and the englishman has cheese sandwiches so he jumps off the bridge
the scotsman looks and he also has cheese sandwiches so he jumps off the bridge and the irishman looks and he also has cheese sandwiches so he jumps off the bridge
at the funeral the wives meet up and the englishmans wife says "i could of just made him another kind of sandwich" the scotsmans wife says i would of got another kind of cheese" the irishmans wife says i do not know why he jumped he made his own sandwiches.
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| Posted by ResdntEvilFreak on 11-Aug-2005 | The OnionQ:what's round,white and giggles?
A:a tickled onion
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| Posted by Sabri Al-Safi on 11-Aug-2005 | No Tie - Oh WellTwo guys decide to go to a newer restaurant they had been hearing good things about.
Upon being greeted at the front door they were promptly informed that they would not be allowed to enter since neither of them had a tie on.
While walking back to the car the driver remembers that there was a tie he had left in the trunk some time back.
He opens the trunk and sure enough - He finds the tie, his friend says - Well - what about me?
While the first guy is putting his tie on, He jokes to the other - why not just wrap those jumper cables around your neck - and for whatever reason the second guy agrees.
They walk back in and the host says: "Alright guys - your catching me in a good mood, I'll go ahead and seat you - but you listen good.
You two better not start nothin!"
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| Posted by rick close on 11-Aug-2005 | Gold jokeFive men were selecter for a survey. They were taken away to a hotel called the goldings. There they found the place covered top to bottom in golden fittnigs and furnishings, the doors were gold , the floor was gold , the roof was gold , the stairs were gold .Every thing in the lobby was gold.
They were shown to there rooms by a maid , she had golden hair , golden dress , golden tights , golden shoes , golden piney and a golden hat. She shown each man in to his room.
The rooms were decorated in yet more gold. Golden beds , golden pillows , golden windows, golden toothbrushes , golden chocolates, golden soap, golden bathrobes, golden pictures .
They woke up that morning to have a bath in a golden bath with golden taps , golden mirrors , golden tiles and a golden toilet.
They were led to the golden diningroom via the golden staircase. The dining room was exquist. Golden walls , golden chairs, golden table goldrn knives and falks , golden spoons and a golden table cloth.
Theh golden maids came in and asked if they would like cerial or poridge for breakfast , while the men talked about how plush the place was.
The first man asked for poridge , as did the second third and forth , the fith asked for cerial.
and ladies and gentialmen this proves that 4 in 5 men prefur poridge!
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| Posted by Earl the man on 13-Aug-2005 | Ten Top Ways to Annoy Your WaiterTop ten ways to annoy your waiter
From the Late Show with David Letterman - Friday, January 13, 1995 with revisions made by John Insor.
10. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip.
9. Ask, "Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?"
8. After he describes each special, you shout, "Garbage!"
7. Whenever he walks by, cough and mutter, "Minimum wage".
6. Every few seconds, yell, "More waffles, Cuomo!"
5. Insist that before ordering, you be allowed to touch the London broil.
4. Tie tablecloth around neck and say, "You wouldn't charge Superman for dinner, would you?"
3. Every time you eat or drink, cough really hard.
2. As he walks by to the kitchen, scream, "He's gonna spit in the chowder!"
1. Three words: eat the check.
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