|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by taryn on 11-Aug-2005 | Strage Eating HabitsA mother complained to her doctor about her daughter's
strange eating habits.
"All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax.
What will happen to her, doctor?," the mother inquired.
"Eventually," said the doctor, "she will rise and shine!"
|
3 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Iain Delaney on 11-Aug-2005 | Yum YumQ:How do you make a Swiss roll?
A:you push them down the Alps.
|
1 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Farzad F. Rad on 11-Aug-2005 | Tea Anyone?Their once was a Princess who fell in love with an indian, but still wasn't happy because he had accomplished nothing in his life. One day in the paper the princess read of an herbal tea drinking contest. Suprisingly the in Indian was very good at this and decided to enter. The contest began and soon it was down to the indian and another man,they both drank 32 gallons of tea. Finally after 34 gallons the other man dropped out and the indian won, by drinking 35 gallons of herbal tea. After celebrating, the indian went to sleep with the trophy in his hands and....that night he drowned in his teapee!
|
1 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Kristy M. King on 11-Aug-2005 | Steak 'n EggsThere was this fried egg walking down the street in Havana
minding its own business. It hears some noise behind it,
turns around, and sees a crowd of hungry Cubans in the
distance bearing down on it.
It runs away as fast as its little fried egg legs will
go, when it sees a steak. It yells to the steak, "Run
away! Run away! They'll get you too!" but the steak just
laughs and says, "Shit, they won't even recognize me!"
|
1 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Ben Driediger on 11-Aug-2005 | Black man, sex & chocolate biky'sThis chick goes to a bar and picks up this guy and they get talkin and they end up going back to her place. about an hour later her husband walks in and see's this guys underwear on the floor. he says "next time i see another guyz pants on the floor im gunna pull out everyone of ur pubic hairs"! the next night she goes to the bar again and says hi to this black dude. she said you wanna come back to my place? and he says only for a chocolate biky. so she gave him the biky and headed home. they got upstairs and she said you wanna get naked? and he said only for a chocolate biky. then she gave him the biky and got naked. then she said to him you wanna root me hard? and he said only for a chocolate biky. so she gave him the biky and they got right into it. about an hour later her husband was coming up the stairs. then she said quick get in the closet and he said only for a choclate biky. so she gave him the biky and he got in. the husband then saw the pants on the floor and said, alright get on the bed and give me the tweezers. then he started pulling them out. he was down to the last black curly son of a bitch and he yelled, "COME OUT YOU BLCK BASTARD" and the black dude in the closet goes only for a chocolate biky!
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Chris L. Johnson on 11-Aug-2005 | Knife and falkAn italian walks into a hotel in malta and finds he has no sheet on his bed so he tells the owner" i want a shite on my bed " the owner says you had better shit on the bed.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Smart Fool on 11-Aug-2005 | Chocolate ice creamA lady walked into a convenience store and asked the clerk for a pint of chocolate ice cream.
The clerk told the lady "Miss, we are all out of chocolate ice cream."
The lady says "Oh, okay. Give me a quart of chocolate ice cream."
The clerk says "Miss, I just told you we are all out of chocolate ice cream."
The lady says "Oh, okay. Give me a half gallon of chocolate ice cream."
The clerk had finally had it. He said "Miss, can you spell the van in vanilla?"
The lady looked puzzled but answered "Yes, v a n."
The clerk said, "Very good. Now can you spell the straw in strawberry?"
The lady still looked puzzled but answered "Yes, s t r a w."
The clerk said, "Very good. Now can you spell the fuck in chocolate?"
The lady answered, "There ain't no fuck in chocolate."
The clerk replied, "That's what I'v been trying to tell you!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Bluestar on 11-Aug-2005 | ChiliA man walks into a resteraunt and orders a bowl of chili. The waitress tells him that the man in the next booth ordered the last one. He joins the man, see's he has a full bowl and asks "can I have your chili?" the man says sure. The man starts eating until he comes to the bottom of the bowl and see's a dead mouse. He vomits into the bowl, the other man says - yeah, I did the same thing.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by funnygirl on 11-Aug-2005 | New comersTwo women from england moved to America. They decided that since it was a traditional American food they would try there first hot dog.They were talking about how mean it was to kill a helpless dog for food. So they went to a hot dog stand and bought the hot dogs. They found a park bench to sit on and eat there dogs. The first one opens hers and turns bright pink...
and says.....
"what part did you get?"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Michael R. Shocket on 11-Aug-2005 | VanillaA lady walks into a store and asks the clerk for a gallon of vanilla, a gallon of chocolate and a gallon of strawberries the clerk says i dont have any chocolate so the lady says ok ill take a quart of each and the clerk tells her again i dont have any chocolate so the lady asks for a pint of each and now the clerk is getting really mad and he tells her to spell the "van" in vanilla so she goes v-a-n so the clerk goes spell the stracw in strawberries so she goes s-t-r-a-w and the clerk goes spell the fuck in chocolate and the lady goes there is no fuckin chocolate and the clrek goes thats what i've been trying to tell you!
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
