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| Posted by Korvak on 08-Aug-2005 | The snooker playerQ. Why did the snooker player go to the toilet?
A. To pot the brown.
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| Posted by Ali R. Hausfeld on 08-Aug-2005 | And the moral is...Q. On the left side of the river there is a rooster, and on the other side there is a cat and a worm. The rooster jumps over the river and eats the worm. The cat gets frightened and jumps in the river. Whats the moral of the story?
A. For every satified cock there is a dripping wet pussy.
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| Posted by Stalker on 08-Aug-2005 | You're so poor jokeYou're so poor you can't afford a boner.
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| Posted by Renee Schwartz on 08-Aug-2005 | how to be a respected citizenthere was a guy that went to alaska and asked the man at the border how to be a respected citizen and he said "first you must drink a bottle of wiskey without moving an eyelash, then kill a polar bear, and last you must make love to an alaskan women" and the man said "i'll drink the wiskey first" and did without moving an eyelash. then asked the man where to find the polar bear and the man said "on the outside of town." so he toke of and about an hour later came back all scratched bloody and his hair all matted and said "wow, that was tough!now where do i kill the alaskan lady?!"
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| Posted by Loreeen on 08-Aug-2005 | "Doctor, How Can I Fix My Problem?"There was once a man who could not get his penis up.
His wife was sad. They had no fun,
So one day the man went to the doctors
to get a perscription for his problem.
"We don't like to just give drugs out" the doctor said.
"I want you to try something and if it doesn't work come back."
"What?" the man asked.
"When your wife is asleep,
Stick your finger in her pussy
and sniff your fingers."
"Do you think it will really work?"
The doctor was sure.
So, the next night when his wife lay next to him in bed,
he did what the doctor said.
He sniffed those fingers and found them to be good.
He realized it worked, he realized he could.
"Honey, Honey!!" he called. "Wake up!"
With a grunt she turned on the light,
looked her husband in the face, and said
"You woke me to tell me you have a nose bleed!!"
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| Posted by Mahildabob Millicent on 11-Aug-2005 | First GraderA first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of
her students.
The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry
answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the
third -grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in
the third-grade too!"
Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to
the principal what the situation was.
The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if
he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the
first-grade and behave.
She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him
and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a
third-grade should know.
The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can
go to the third-grade."
Ms Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some
questions?" The principal and Harry both agree.
Ms Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only
two of?
"Harry, after a moment "Legs."
Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not
have?"
Harry: "Pockets."
Ms Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants"
Ms Brooks: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy,
oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Harry: Coconut
Ms Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and
sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer, Harry was taking charge.
Harry: Bubblegum
Ms Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting
down and a dog do on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the
answer.
Harry: Shake hands
Ms Brooks: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions,
okay?
Harry: Yep.
Ms Brooks: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to
get me up. I get wet before you do.
Harry: Tent
Ms Brooks: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're
bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.
Harry: Wedding Ring
Ms Brooks: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When
you blow me, you feel good.
Harry: Nose
Ms Brooks: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a
quiver.
Harry: Arrow
Ms Brooks: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that
means a lot of heat and excitement?
Harry: Firetruck
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put
Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong
myself."
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| Posted by Patrick Gaspar on 08-Aug-2005 | why did jesus stop..................why did jesus stop playing HoCkEy???...........................................cuz he kept getting nalied to the BoArDsssss!!
(and for all you religous people i didnt mean to affend you)
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| Posted by Choclette Sauce on 08-Aug-2005 | how do you?Q.how do you fit an elephant into a subway? A.take the s away from sub and the f away from way
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| Posted by mat henderson on 08-Aug-2005 | YO MAMA
YO MAMA IS SO STUPID THAT
SHE ROLLED DOWN A BARBIES
CANYON!
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| Posted by Lethia E. Edmondson on 08-Aug-2005 | fruit anybody??these two guys walk across a field but soon get stopped by the owner. the owner is mad cuz he doesnt like anybody walking in his field. anyway he tells the two men that unless they dont do what he tells them to he will shoot their heads off. so the owner lets them sleep in his barn for one day. late that night when they two men were sleeping the owner came and woke both of them up and told them to go out in the field and pick out any fruit or vegetable of their choice. so the two men obeyed and went. one of the men came back with a melon then the owner told him to bend over and shove it up his ass. the the man started laughing and the owner was asking why is he laughing at a moment like this then the guy said "because my friend out there is picking a watermelon"!
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