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Funny Riddles (5136):Other Riddles and Puns (35): Udderly Rediculas


Posted by "Princess on 14-Aug-2005

Udderly Rediculas

A cow was walking down the streets of manhattan run day he was
going to see a MOOVIE

   

2 people have rated this joke:
8.00/10
     

Funny Riddles (5136):Other Riddles and Puns (35): Cows


Posted by Kris10 on 14-Aug-2005

Cows

Read each of theese words

1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4 - Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look


Now say the word COW After each word

1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4 - Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look


Now say the word COW before AND after each word.

1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4 - Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look


Now read just the words upwards from the bottom.

1 - Cows
2 - About
3 - Talking
4- Idiot
5 - This
6 - Got
7 - I
8 - Long
9 - How
10 - Look
   

2 people have rated this joke:
7.50/10
     

Funny Riddles (5136):Other Riddles and Puns (35): Pick Up Line


Posted by Jessica K. Alldredge on 14-Aug-2005

Pick Up Line

Your parents must be retarded, because your special.
I may not be Fred Flinstone but i can sure make your bed rock.
Nice shoes, wanna fuck?(to a guy) (hey if they can say shit like
this to us why cant we throw a dumb one at them)
I lost my teddy bear, would u sleep with me?
Nice clothes, can i talk you out of them?
Lets play Pearl Harbour, ill lay down and u blow me away...

Guys think they are so cool when sayin shit like this to
gurls......
THINK AGAIN!
This stuff doesnt just make us laugh our heads off at you, but
it DOES NOT impress us....... find some good pick up lines, and
email them to me, gurls if there is any dumb pick up lines a guy
said to u mail them to me, i wont use em if ya dont want me to,
i just want to laugh ma ass at them.....

MUAH....love you all, even the uncreative pick up line makers

   

1 people have rated this joke:
7.00/10
     

Funny Riddles (5136):Other Riddles and Puns (35): three guys


Posted by Shawn m. Wynn on 14-Aug-2005

three guys

two guys waled into the bar the third one ducked. hahaha get it
third on ducked

   

1 people have rated this joke:
4.00/10
     

Funny Riddles (5136):Other Riddles and Puns (35): deers


Posted by aaron bowdoin on 14-Aug-2005

deers

Did you know that deers dont have unlces

they only have antlers

   

4 people have rated this joke:
3.00/10
     

Funny Riddles (5136):Other Riddles and Puns (35): in a traight jacket


Posted by Jimmy T. Wuth on 14-Aug-2005

in a traight jacket

Q:does a guy in a striaght jacket look harmful that just got out
of prison?

A: yes because thats why he is in the straight jacket.

   

1 people have rated this joke:
3.00/10
     

Funny Riddles (5136):Other Riddles and Puns (35): Osama Bin......


Posted by Nat Wat on 14-Aug-2005

Osama Bin......

Q:What does it mean when you see car tracks in Afganistan









A:Osama's Bin Drivin

   

2 people have rated this joke:
2.50/10
     

Funny Riddles (5136):Other Riddles and Puns (35): We Are


Posted by dee on 14-Aug-2005

We Are

We are the high school hoes, we wear our hair in bows,we wear
our hot capris above our dirty knees
alaboomchickchick,alaboomchickchick
You know the boy next door he threw me on the floor, he counted
up to 3and stuck it in me, he counted down from 10 and pulled it
out again alaboomchick,alaboomchickchick,alaboomchickchick
My mama was surprised to see my belly rise, my daddy jumped with
joy it was a baby boy
alaboomchickchick,alaboomchickchick,alaboomchick,alaboomchick

   

2 people have rated this joke:
1.00/10
     

Funny Riddles (5136):Other Riddles and Puns (35): This could get you in trouble...


Posted by paul c. feller on 14-Aug-2005

This could get you in trouble...

This could get you in trouble...

The following is immoral, stupid, possibly illegal, and perhaps
dangerous. Oh, and its likely to piss some people off as well.
But it is fun to think about though.

//==============================================//

Call 911, tell ''em its an emergency, you're hungry and try to
order a pizza.

Try to commandeer a police car.

Buy a T-Shirt that says, "Ask me how your wife was."

Answer your phone, "What the fuck do you want!?"

Call AT&T and ask for rates of three of their competitors.

If you manage to get the rates for three of AT&Ts competitors,
say, "I can top that" then hang up.

If you're in a place and some GUYS cell phone rings, blurt out,
"Tell your wife I'M unavailable!"

Answer your phone "Who's your daddy!?"

Try to buy drugs from a police officer.

Next time some one says, "You bet your ass." Tell 'em you don't
swing that way

Get a gas can, wash it out really REALLY good, poke a small hole
in the bottom of the can so it will leak. Next Get a really big
cigar, light it, fill the gas can with water and walk down the
street with a lit cigar and a gas can leaking. Hold the cigar in
the same hand as the gas can.

If your really bored and have a lot of money you don't need (I
could use it!) try to sue Microsoft.

Dress up like a shark and drive around the beach in a jeep.

Buy some condoms and ask the pharmacist if his/her daughter is
home.

Super glue some ones car door shut.

Try to sell some one else's car that is parked on the side of
the street.

Next time you over hear a conversation and you hear any foul
language, say "Watch your fucking mouth, asshole! the fucking
nerve of some people, Jesus fucking Christ! I've never heard so
much fucking profanity in my fucking life, SHIT!"

Sing out loud, Yankee doodle dandy, but change the lyrics to,
"Yank my noodle, Sandy"

Stare at someone until they look back at you. Ask 'em, "What the
fuck are you looking at?"

Wipe your ass with a dollar bill then toss it out onto a busy
side walk. Watch the fun!

Tell all the people on the sales floor of your local K-mart or
what ever, that their vacuums suck.

   

1 people have rated this joke:
1.00/10
     

Funny Riddles (5136):Other Riddles and Puns (35): The Red Joke


Posted by K. Caplan on 14-Aug-2005

The Red Joke

One day, there was a red hotel run by Mrs. Red. On that day,
she had three boarders; Mr. Orange, Mr. White, and Mrs. Blue.
Each of the boarders had a red room with a red door, a red
keyhole, etc. That day, Mr. Orange left his room to request a
maid. He went out the red door, down the red steps, through the
red rec room, through the red dining room, through the red
kitchen, up the red stairs and opened the red door to Mrs. Red's
room to ask for a maid. He was granted the wish and returned to
his red room going out the red door, down the red steps, through
the red kitchen, through the red dining room, through the red
rec room, and up the red steps. Next, Mr. White wanted to
request a special meal. He went out the red door, down the red
steps, through the red rec room, through the red dining room,
through the red kitchen, up the red stairs and opened the red
door to Mrs. Red's room to ask for a special meal. He was
granted the wish and returned to his red room going out the red
door, down the red steps, through the red kitchen, through the
red dining room, through the red rec room, and up the red steps.
Next, Mrs. Blue wanted to complain about the absence of hot
water in her bathroom. She went out the red door, down the red
steps, through the red rec room, through the red dining room,
through the red kitchen, up the red stairs and opened the red
door to Mrs. Red's room to complain about the water. The water
was fixed and she returned to her red room going out the red
door, down the red steps, through the red kitchen, through the
red dining room, through the red rec room, and up the red steps.
The next morning, breakfast time came. Mr. Orange came down the
red stairs, through the red dining room, through the red rec
room to the red kitchen. He got out a red bowl, a red spoon,
some red milk, and red Cheerios. He poured the red milk and the
red Cheerios into the red bowl and used the red spoon to eat
every bit. When he was finished, he washed the red bowl and the
red spoon. He put the red Cheerios and the red milk where they
belonged. He went back through the red dining room, the red rec
room, up the red stairs, and back to his red room. Next, Mr.
White came down for breakfast. He came down the red stairs,
through the red dining room, through the red rec room to the red
kitchen. He got out a red bowl, a red spoon, some red milk, and
red Frosted Flakes. He poured the red milk and the red Frosted
Flakes into the red bowl and used the red spoon to eat every
bit. When he was finished, he washed the red bowl and the red
spoon. He put the red Frosted Flakes and the red milk where
they belonged. He went back through the red dining room, the
red rec room, up the red stairs, and back to his red room.
Finally, Mrs. Blue wanted breakfast. She came down the red
stairs, through the red dining room, through the red rec room to
the red kitchen. She got out a red bowl, a red spoon, some red
milk, and red Cheerios. She poured the red milk and the red
Cheerios into the red bowl and used the red spoon to eat every
bit. When she was finished, she washed the red bowl and the red
spoon. She put the red Cheerios and the red milk where they
belonged. She went back through the red dining room, the red
rec room, up the red stairs, and back to her red room. The
moral of this story is that two out of three people prefer
Cheerios over Frosted Flakes.

   

2 people have rated this joke:
1.00/10
     

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