|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by IgLoO gRrL on 14-Aug-2005 | Bad pickup linesIf those old pickup lines aren't working for you like "did it
hurt, (she says) what. When you fell from heaven. Then read
these pickup lines I guarantee at least one will work for you.
1.Are my undies showing? ["No."] "Would you like them to?"
2.Are you busy tonight at 3:00 A.M.?
3.Can I borrow a quarter? "What for?" I want to call your mother
and thank her.
4.Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In
This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
5.Damn, I thought "very-fine" only came in a bottle!
6.Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.
7.Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write
down my number?
8.Do you know the essential difference between sex and
conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
9.Excuse me, do you think you might possibly have a mutual
friend who could introduce us.
10.For a fat chick, you sure have small tits.
11.Gee, for a fat girl you sure don?t sweat much.
12.Have you heard the latest piece of medical knowledge saying
that Sex is a real killer? Do you want to die happy?
13.Hi, are you here to meet a nice man or will I do?
14.Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me
down; go ahead say no.
15. Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long,
and think it's time to see if I'm right.
16.Hi. You'll do.
17.How do you like your eggs cooked? [Why?] Well I just wanted
know what to make for you in the morning!
18.I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
19.I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away!
20.I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you
are!!
21.I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.
22.I seemed to have lost my way, would you mind taking me with
you.
23.I lost my number can I have yours.
24.I was going to tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall
off. But it looks like somebody beat me to it.
25.I was just curious? Are you as good as all the guys say you
are?
26.If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
27.If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it
against me?
28.If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
29.I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your
apartment?
30.I'm the kind of man who deserves to have women I don't
deserve.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by MindYerBeak on 14-Aug-2005 | 2 MuffinsThere were 2 muffins in an oven.
THe one muffin says "Damn, it's really hot in here!"
The other muffin screams "AHHHHH a talking muffin!!!!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Clare Sakic on 14-Aug-2005 | Hallow'eenWhy to pedofiles like hallow'een so much?
Home delivery
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Cuto on 14-Aug-2005 | Special OlympicsWhat's better than winning the special olympics?
Walking
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Nat Wat on 14-Aug-2005 | muffin man~~~~~so theres 2 muffins in an oven, on muffin says
"damn, it's hot as hell in here" and the other muffin goes,
"AAH! A TALKING MUFFIN!!"~~~~~
wasn't that the funnies joke u ever heard? laugh!
I SAID LAUGH DAMMIT! LAUGH!
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Jennifer S. Chmielewski on 14-Aug-2005 | just a thought...What would happen if you killed the most beautiful person?
(scroll for answer)
You'd be committing suicide! Now you don't wanna do that, do
you?
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Stefani Malik on 14-Aug-2005 | Penguins in their spare timeWhat do you call black and white and black and white and black
and white and black and white and back?
a penguin rolling down a hill.
what do you call something black and white and laughing?
The penguin standing at hte top of htis hill laughing at the
penguin rollign down.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Graeme J. Traquair on 14-Aug-2005 | CookiesA boyfriend and a girlfriend were at the corner of the
girlfriend's neighborhood. She said, "Do you wanna walk me to
my door?"
He said, "I don't know, I don't think it's right, I don't want
to."
"I'll give you a cookie."
"All right."
She was walked to her door and said, " Do you wanna come inside?"
"I don't know, I don't think it's right, I don't want to."
"I'll give you 2 cookies."
"Ok."
They went inside and the girfriend asked, "Do you wanna come to
my room?"
"I don't know, I don't think it's right, I don't want to."
"I'll give you 3 cookies."
"Alright."
They went upstairs to her room and the girfriend questioned,
"Do you wanna get in bed?"
"I don't know, I don't think it's right, I don't want to."
"I'll give you 4 cookies."
"Well, ok."
They got in bed and the girlfriend said, "You wanna get naked?"
"I don't know, I don't think it's right, I don't want to."
"I'll give you 5 cookies."
"Alright."
As they were getting undressed and having sex, the girlfriend's
father came in. He asked, "Get off my daughter!"
The boyfreind said, "I don't know, I don't think it's right, I
don't want to."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Sonya Kennett on 14-Aug-2005 | Grandpa's Song (Early this morning)Ladies and Gents. Beggers and Tramps. Bugg-eyed maskitos, and 4
legged ants. I come before you to stand behind you. To tell you
something i know nothing about:
Early this morning, late last night. Two dead brothers stood up
to fight. Back to back they faced eachother, drew their swords
and shot eachother. A def policman heard the noise and came and
shot the two dead boys.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Matt S on 14-Aug-2005 | Martha and The Airplane ride..Martha and Harry went to the fair every year.
And every year Harry said to martha.. I want a ride in the
airplane... wouldn't it be so much fun up there in the sky so
high!
And every year Martha would reply.. No Harry..it costs ten
dollars and ten dollars is ten dollars..
This conversation kept on happenning but one year Harry said to
Martha.. "I am 71 years old.. this may be my last chance to ride
in an airplane.." So martha agreed and the airplane pilot made
them a deal.. If you dont talk AT ALL throughout the trip well
it wont cost you anything.. but if you talk AT ALL during the
trip it will cost you Ten dollars..
So the plane flight came to an end after ten minutes of twists
and turns in the air and dives over the sea...
When the plane landed the pilot said You done very well not to
talk throughout the whole plane trip and Harry replied.. Well i
found it very hard not to talk when martha fell out of the plane!
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
