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| Posted by Roy Covington III on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many programmersQ: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.
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| Posted by Emily C. Jones on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many bodyQ: How many body builders/weightlifters does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Four. One to change the lightbulb. One to spot. The other two to stand and yell support (Come on! You can do it! etc...) But they only get three attempts.
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| Posted by Jon Leow on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many egotistsQ: How many egotists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: One. He holds onto the lightbulb, and waits for the world to revolve around him.
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| Posted by DiAnA O on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many liberalsQ: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One liberal and twenty eight delegates representing all the social, economic, and ethnic communities.
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| Posted by Michael Gailling on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many conservativesQ: How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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| Posted by Michael Jackson on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many radioQ: How many radio astronomers does it take to change a light bulb.
A: None. They are not interested in that short wave stuff.
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| Posted by Jocky on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many BeverlyQ: How many Beverly Hills residents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, they have a service come in and do that.
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| Posted by goin' wild on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many stockQ: How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 24 1/8, but that's down 3/8 from yesterday.
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| Posted by Francisco on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many saxQ: How many sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but he has to go through a whole box to find just the right one.
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| Posted by Kitty K. Kitty on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many doctorsQ: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They would diagnose depression and prescribe benzo diazapines.
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| Posted by Mike Dupuis on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many footballQ: How many football managers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Well, it would only take one, but actually he doesn't change it at all if it worked all right for him last time (lest he gets caricatured on the back page of the gutter press.)
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| Posted by Gemma Thompson on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many membersQ: How many members of the royal family does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: "Actually none. As your queen I would like to reassure the people of the commonwealth that while our family may have had our Annus Horribilis and while some of us may have screwed in the stables or in the mud, none of us, to my knowledge, have actually screwed in a lightbulb."
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| Posted by michael A. layhe on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many SASQ: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, once the documentation for the procedure is found in one of the 15 manuals on the shelf.
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| Posted by Meg Bailey on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many peopleQ: How many people does it take to throw away a one WATT bulb??
A: Five. A Black, a Jew, two women, and a cripple...
Note: Topical to the resignation of Interior secretary James Watt in 1983
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| Posted by Brennan A. Smith on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many psychiatristsQ: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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| Posted by quack quack on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many cats doesQ: How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?
A: You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need.
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| Posted by IOVANA BRITO on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many programmersQ: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Of course, as everyone knows, just five years ago all it took was a bunch of kids in a garage in Palo Alto to change a light bulb.
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| Posted by Gelfling on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many economistsQ: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: That depends on the wage rate.
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| Posted by Cory Kusick on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many LacaniansQ: How many Lacanians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three-one to do it, one to desire it, and the ignorant Other.
Note: Jacques Lacan (1901-82) was a prominent French psychoanalyst and theorist who is very influential with literary critics at the moment. This relates to his theories.)
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| Posted by Sarah E. Bellis on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many physiotherapistsQ: How many physiotherapists does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. They just give the dead bulb some exercises to do and hope it will be working a bit better the next time they see it.
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| Posted by Caitlin l. Lopez on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many UnionQ: How many Union Electricians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Seventeen - One to give the bulb to the screw-inner. One to screw in the bulb. One to hold him on the step ladder. Four to hold the step ladder steady. One to flick the switch to test the bulb. One to make sure that the other bulbs in the room will need fixing. One to supervise. Two to take a coffee break, one to eat lunch, and one to nap. One to plot the best way of breaking into the apartment at night. One to drink gin n tonics with the yuppies.
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| Posted by robert battle on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many kindergardenQ: How many kindergarden kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, two, three... Mummy! can I use my toes?
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| Posted by Zak on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many DemocraticQ: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A: (Al Gore) As usual, the other left-wing wacko candidates are putting forth solutions that moderate Southerners won't cotton to on Super Tuesday. At least I hope not.
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| Posted by Sonya Kennett on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many firstQ: How many first year civil engineering students does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. That's a second year subject.
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| Posted by Colten Reddit on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many rec.humor.funnyQ: How many rec.humor.funny readers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 50. They all stand out in the hall while Maddi comes out every once in a while and looks at all the light bulbs people have brought. Finally she selects a few. They're all quite feeble and burn out after a few minutes, so she comes out for more. But she selects more dim bulbs, which causes great discontent among the people who have brought really bright, long-lasting bulbs.
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| Posted by Maira m on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many SagittariansQ: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out light bulb?
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| Posted by Magic Mike on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many ContrasQ: How many Contras does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he doesn't know where it came from.
Note: Topical to the 1987 Iran/Contra hearings.
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| Posted by rochy on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many MarxistsQ: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, the seeds of revolution and change are within the lightbulb itself.
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| Posted by Darcnight Kawasakininjazxniner on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many pessimistsQ: How many pessimists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, the old one is probably screwed in too tight.
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| Posted by Mickey Kirksey on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many screenwritersQ: How many screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Why does it *have* to be changed?
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