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| Posted by Courtney L. van Emmerik on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many bluesQ: How many blues musicians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Two. One to go to Chicago because there might be a lightbulb there and the other to play harp.
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| Posted by samuel h. duham on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many chickensQ: How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two-one to do it and one to cross the road.
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| Posted by Charlotte M. D on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many fieldQ: How many field service engineers does it take to replace a dead light bulb?
A: Well, the diagnostics all check out fine, so it's a software problem.
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| Posted by K. Caplan on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many conductorsQ: How many conductors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven. (Indignant nose upturned.) Of course, I wouldn't expect you to understand.
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| Posted by Dan Becker on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many bureaucratsQ: How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two--one to screw it in and one to screw it up.
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| Posted by Jaz on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many SASQ: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Well, it depends upon the platform on which one stands!
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| Posted by Vikie Brighton on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many altoQ: How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to handle the bulb, and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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| Posted by Jolley E. Watson on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many graduateQ: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It all depends on the size of the grant.
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| Posted by K9mom on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many Germans doesQ: How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Ve are asking ze qvestions here!
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| Posted by Phish on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many Limbaugh-headsQ: How many Limbaugh-heads does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The number is irrelevant; they just stand around muttering "ditto". And they don't do anything in the first place.
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| Posted by steve on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many blondesQ: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: It depends how many blondes there are, but some people prefer it with the lights off.
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| Posted by Bee999 on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many babyQ: How many baby sitters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, They don't make Pampers small enough.
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| Posted by frizzlegrl on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many LabourQ: How many Labour Party members does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They haven't got a policy on that.
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| Posted by ~::Angel::~ on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many undertakersQ: How many undertakers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They just paint them black and go on using them.
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| Posted by Sam T. Brauer on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many auto mechanicsQ: How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six--one to force it with a hammer and five to go out for more bulbs.
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| Posted by Mike H. Stevens on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many SASQ: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: They can't change light bulbs... Without light, they can't read the manual, and without the manual, they can't figure out how to change the light bulb.
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| Posted by Janice Hofer on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many bailiffsQ: How many bailiffs does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Ten. One to change it, one to hit you in the kidneys, and 8 to stand around such that none of this gets caught on camera.
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| Posted by Cutie23Girl on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many peopleQ: How many people does it take to change a lightbulb for Bobby Fischer ?
A: Two. One person to put the new one in, and another person to file three millimetres off it first.
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| Posted by Marvin Tapessur on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many off-campusQ: How many off-campus landlords does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. The students will just wreck it, anyhow, so why bother?
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| Posted by mantis on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many KuQ: How many Ku Klux Klansmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One hundred-one to do it and the others to stand around solemnly and watch the old bulb burn.
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| Posted by Jennifer Tanko on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many alt.folklore.urbanQ: How many alt.folklore.urban readers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One, to have a drink with a strange woman in a bar and pass out, wake up three days later in a seedy hotel room, find a scar on his back, and realize where the light bulb went.
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| Posted by Cameron d. Peckham on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many Republicans doesQ: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two--one to do it and one to steady the chandelier.
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| Posted by Little Bosier on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many computerQ: How many computer journalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five-one to write a review of all the existing light bulbs so you can decide which one to buy, another one to write a remarkably similar one in another magazine the next month, a third to have a big one come out on glossy paper two months later that is by then completely out of date, a fourth to hint in his/her column that a completely new and updated bulb is coming out, and the fifth to report a rumor that that new bulb is shipping with a virus.
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| Posted by Icman78 on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many mutantsQ: How many mutants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two thirds.
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| Posted by Cute Red Head on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many programmersQ: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: We looked at the light fixture and decided there's no point trying to maintain it. We're going to rewrite it from scratch. Could you wait two months?
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| Posted by herman g. romanutti on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many MafiaQ: How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to screw it in, one to watch, and one to shoot the witness.
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| Posted by Jack Treese on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many CanadiansQ: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Five. One to screw in the bulb and the other four to call out "Get Back!, Get Back!".
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| Posted by sk8ergirl697131 on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many presidentialQ: How many presidential candidates does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Less and less all the time.
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| Posted by Stu D. Baker on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many DouglasQ: How many Douglas Wilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, he can't decide if he is going to screw a lightbulb in or not!
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| Posted by Tricione on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: How many MensansQ: How many Mensans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 66. Eleven philosophers to ponder whether it is possible to actually do anything; ten semanticists to debate the various possible meanings of each phrase, word, and syllable; nine columnists to write about it from radically different viewpoints; eight letter writers to respond vehemently with opposing points of view; seven Quibblers who delight in pointing out others' mistakes (what is said is not as important as saying it correctly); six conservatives who believe things should stay the way they are; five liberals who believe that action should be taken immediately to form a committee to study possible actions; four ornery SOBs who disagree on principal with anything anyone else has suggested; three peacemakers who believe it's more important to work it out without showing any more emotions than necessary to get it done; two statisticians who maintain that numbers are more important than facts; and one pragmatist to ignore the bureaucratic piles of paperwork and replace the bad bulb with a good one. Whilst all this is going on, all the Mensans are keeping count in their heads just to make absolutely sure what it really does add up to 66.
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