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| Posted by caryline kelly on 14-Aug-2005 | RetirementMy nookie days are over
My pilot light is out
What used to be my sex appeal
Is now my waterspout
Time was when of its own accord
From my trousers it would spring
But now I've got a full time job
To find the blasted thing
It used to be embarrassing
The way it would behave
For every single morning
It would stand and watch me shave
As my old age now approaches
It sure gives me the blues
To see it hang its little head
And watch me tie my shoes
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| Posted by kimberly on 14-Aug-2005 | Mother HuboardOld mother Huboard
went to the cupboard
to get her doggy a bone
when she bent over
over came Rover
and gave her
a bone of his own.
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| Posted by Autumn on 14-Aug-2005 | beautifulBEAUTIFUUL
Beautiful
Beautiful, thats what he is to me
Beautiful, something only really him and I can see
Beautiful, somethig he cannot hide from me
He's incredable and capable of makinh his life deside to be
he's so wonderful
hess so wonderful he is the best person you could have in this
world besides God
Hes so wonderful shes like an angle, always by your side
I cant see one problem that he had when im around
Hes like an angle protacting and correcting me, and never
putting me down
Sometimes I say to myself maybe he is an angle
Because thats Beautiful
By:Andrina Phillip
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| Posted by Sweets on 14-Aug-2005 | Poop and morewhen i see ya shit,
i put up a fit,
cuz all thay remind me of is when i clean my ass,
and then when i see the grass,
i just pass out and die!
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| Posted by Matt S. N/A on 14-Aug-2005 | Sex in Madras (a poem)When I went to Madras,
I fucked the lady on the grass,
When I inserted inch one,
She said it's none,
When I inserted inch two,
She said it's few,
When I inserted inch three,
She said it's free,
When I inserted inch four,
She said I want more,
When I inserted inch five,
She said it feels like a knife,
When I inserted inch six,
She said it's fix,
When I inserted inch seven,
She said I'm in heaven,
When I inserted inch eight,
She said it's great,
When I inserted inch nine,
She said the hole is mine,
When I inserted inch ten,
She said are you a donkey or a man?
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| Posted by saber saint on 14-Aug-2005 | Poetry in MotionWith the wit of author Saul Bellow,
And the grace of a Yo-Yo Ma cello,
Lubed up with slick lotion
He was poetry in motion,
'Cause his dick was now a Longfellow.
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| Posted by Shabauddin S. Ahmed on 14-Aug-2005 | I WishI wish all the girls were like statue's of venus,
and I would have me a petrified penis.
I wish all the girls were like holes in a road,
and I was a dumptruck and dump in my load.
I wish all the girls were like trees in a forrest,
I'd be a woodsman and spit their clitoris.
I wish all the girls were like telephone poles,
I'd be a squirrel and stuff nuts in there holes.
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| Posted by Thai on 14-Aug-2005 | Grey DayThey day was grey,
The night was blue.
Around the corner,
A toilet flew.
A bum was hit,
A scream was heard.
A man was killed,
By a flying turd!
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| Posted by Cory A. Froke on 14-Aug-2005 | Poetry ContestTaken from an internet site where there's a competition for writing the most romantic first line and most unromantic second line.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty & so is your head.
After you, my love, my only prize
Would be a bullet between the eyes.
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you're not.
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes.
.. Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
Every time I see your face
I wish I were in outer space.
I saw your face as you walked by
But then I saw a better guy.
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
Beauty is on the inside, but some may doubt,
If its true, I'd prefer you inside out.
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming.
My love you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell."
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| Posted by Hyun Choi on 14-Aug-2005 | The Top 16 Movies About the Man From Nantucket (R-rated version)16> Lord of the Thing
15> American History XXXL
14> Monster, Inc.
13> Peter Almighty
12> The Groin Mile
11> The Milton Berle Story
10> Two-Hand Luke
9> Craving Ryan's Privates
8> Citizen Cane
7> Terms of Endowment
6> Swingin' in the Rain
5> Mandongo
4> My Big Fat Greek Willy
3> A Mighty Wand
2> Bend It Like Clinton
1> The OhMyGod!father
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
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