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| Posted by Ashley E. Volling on 14-Aug-2005 | king kong the Monkey ManKing Kong the monkeyman hanging from a rubberband he trips he falls he's
hanging from his balls they rip they tear he doesn't give a care.
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| Posted by Justin Babineau on 14-Aug-2005 | Bathroom rhymes and graffiti-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 1
=--------------------------------------
Some people come to sit and think.
Others come to shit and stink.
I come here to rest my balls and
Read the words upon the walls.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 2
=--------------------------------------
Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.
Here I sit in the misty vapor.
Someone stole the toilet paper.
I cannot wait, I cannot linger,
Watch out ass, here comes the finger!
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 3
=--------------------------------------
Here I sit
What a caper
I have to shit
But I'm out of paper
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 4
=--------------------------------------
Some people are poor
While others are rich
But a shithouse poet
Is a son of a bitch
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 5
=--------------------------------------
The painters work is all in vain
The shithouse poet strikes again
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 6
=--------------------------------------
Here I sit in stinking vapor
Some son of a bitch stole the paper!
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 7
=--------------------------------------
Here I sit
Cheeks a flexin'
Squeezin' out
Another Texan.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 8
=--------------------------------------
To the shithouse poet
When he should die,
There should be erected,
Broad and high,
For his cunning
And for his wit,
A solid monument of shit.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 9
=--------------------------------------
When this tiolet cleaner finally dies,
He will find erected in the skies,
A tribute to his glorious wit,
A monument of solid shit.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 10
=--------------------------------------
Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 11
=--------------------------------------
Better that
Than take a chance,
Costs more than a dime
To launder pants.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 12
=--------------------------------------
You're lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And shit my pants!
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 13
=--------------------------------------
I came here
To shit and stink,
But all I do
Is sit and think.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 14
=--------------------------------------
Here I sit
And contemplate.
Should I shit
Or masturbate?
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 15
=--------------------------------------
Here I sit in dull repose,
That fart you left still burns my nose.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 16
=--------------------------------------
It makes me wonder, to see such wit,
If Shakespeare had been here to shit.
Some swear they saw Shakespeare walk in,
But others say that fart was Bacon.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 17
=--------------------------------------
No matter how you move
Or how you dance,
The last drop always winds up
In your pants.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 18
=--------------------------------------
Give me a muff with thighs on both sides
That's furry and pink all covered with stink;
I don't even care if it's old or it's new,
Cause what the hell, it's something to screw.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 19
=--------------------------------------
Some come here to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls,
And read the bullshit on the walls...
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 20
=--------------------------------------
People who write on bathroom walls
Roll their shit into little balls.
Those who read their words of wit,
Eat those little balls of shit.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 21
=--------------------------------------
Here I sit, buns a-flexin,
Just gave birth to another Texan
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 22
=--------------------------------------
Here I sit
On the pooper,
Giving birth
To another state trooper.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 23
=--------------------------------------
(seen during the height of the Iranian/U.S. hostage crisis)
Here I sit, buns a-strainin'
Just gave birth to another Iranian
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 24
=--------------------------------------
Here I sit, so broken hearted
Paid my dime and only farted.
Yesterday though,
I took a chance,
Saved my dime,
But shit my pants.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 25
=--------------------------------------
Here I sit, so broken hearted,
Paid my dime and only farted.
First a push, then a squeeze,
And out it came like melted cheese.
Then I had some prunes to eat,
And now there's shit up to the seat.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 26
=--------------------------------------
(written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line, the Hillsboro Fire Department
want's you.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 27
=--------------------------------------
(written high upon the wall above a urinal)
Don't look up here, the joke's in your hand.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 28
=--------------------------------------
Written above a urinal:
You hold in your hands your family's future.
-= bathroom rhymes and graffiti =-= 29
=--------------------------------------
Seen above a urinal:
If you think some people are gay, look at what you're holding!
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| Posted by haley r. kopcho on 14-Aug-2005 | Stoner PoemsStoners live and stoners die,
But in the end we all get high,
So if at first you don't succeed,
Fuck this world and smoke some weed!
Sex and drugs and rock 'n roll,
Speed and weed and birth control,
First you live and then you die,
So fuck this world and lets get high!
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3 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Becca on 14-Aug-2005 | Dr. Seuss Getting OlderDR. SEUSS ON THE GOLDEN YEARS
I cannot see
I cannot pee
I cannot chew
I cannot screw
My memory shrinks
My hearing stinks
No sense of smell
I look like hell
My body's drooping
I have trouble pooping
The Golden Years have come at last
The Golden Years can kiss my ass.
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| Posted by I Like Cheese You Like Cheese on 14-Aug-2005 | One Bright DayPull up a chair sit on the floor
I'll tell you a story you've heard before.
One bright day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Pulled out their swords and shot each other
The deaf police man heard the noise
Saved the lives of the two dead boys
If you don't believe this lie is true
Ask the blind man he saw it to!
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| Posted by daniel bud on 14-Aug-2005 | Bedtime Poems For BIG KidsJACK AND JILL Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.
LITTLE MISS MUFFET sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered & torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept up beside her,
But Little Boy Blue & his horn.
SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pie man unto Simon,
"Pies, you idiot!"
HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.
HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.
GEORGIE PORGY Pudding & Pie,
Kissed the girls & made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.
There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, & a sports car.
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| Posted by Steven on 14-Aug-2005 | Mary's little lambMary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead
And now it went to school with her
Between two hunks of bread
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| Posted by dextergrrl on 14-Aug-2005 | BlessDear Heavenly father full of grace
Bless my boy friend for his cute face
Bless his hair that always curls
Help keep his hands off other girls
Bless his hands so big and strong
Help keep them where they belong
Bless the thickness of his sperm
Bless his dick so big and firm
Bless his hand I love to clinch
Bless his tongue I love to french
Bless my breast he love to suck
Bless my pussy he loves to fuck
Bless the man I love to marry
Bless his child I love to carry
And if my mom shall walk in
Bless our lives soon to end
And if you hear this bless of mine
May it blow your fucking mind.
Amen
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| Posted by HOLY SH**!!! on 14-Aug-2005 | For the Girls
A heart is not a playingthing
A heart is not a toy
If you want it broken
Give it to a boy
They'll tear it to pieces
They'll step on it like glass
And when they come running back
say HONEY KISS MY ARSE
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| Posted by Jason J. Barber on 14-Aug-2005 | Ole MacDonaldOle MacDonald sitting on a bench,
slapping his meat with a monkey wrench,
missed his meat and hit his balls,
pissed all over in his overalles,
went to the creek to wash them off,
saw a beaver jacking off
kicked the beaver in its ass
never seen a beaver jack so fast.
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