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| Posted by daniel bud on 14-Aug-2005 | Bedtime Poems For BIG KidsJACK AND JILL Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.
LITTLE MISS MUFFET sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered & torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept up beside her,
But Little Boy Blue & his horn.
SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pie man unto Simon,
"Pies, you idiot!"
HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.
HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.
GEORGIE PORGY Pudding & Pie,
Kissed the girls & made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.
There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, & a sports car.
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| Posted by Steven on 14-Aug-2005 | Mary's little lambMary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead
And now it went to school with her
Between two hunks of bread
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| Posted by dextergrrl on 14-Aug-2005 | BlessDear Heavenly father full of grace
Bless my boy friend for his cute face
Bless his hair that always curls
Help keep his hands off other girls
Bless his hands so big and strong
Help keep them where they belong
Bless the thickness of his sperm
Bless his dick so big and firm
Bless his hand I love to clinch
Bless his tongue I love to french
Bless my breast he love to suck
Bless my pussy he loves to fuck
Bless the man I love to marry
Bless his child I love to carry
And if my mom shall walk in
Bless our lives soon to end
And if you hear this bless of mine
May it blow your fucking mind.
Amen
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5 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by HOLY SH**!!! on 14-Aug-2005 | For the Girls
A heart is not a playingthing
A heart is not a toy
If you want it broken
Give it to a boy
They'll tear it to pieces
They'll step on it like glass
And when they come running back
say HONEY KISS MY ARSE
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6 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Jason J. Barber on 14-Aug-2005 | Ole MacDonaldOle MacDonald sitting on a bench,
slapping his meat with a monkey wrench,
missed his meat and hit his balls,
pissed all over in his overalles,
went to the creek to wash them off,
saw a beaver jacking off
kicked the beaver in its ass
never seen a beaver jack so fast.
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5 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Bluey Dinosaur on 14-Aug-2005 | Suzy BrownThere once was a girl named Suzy Brown
Who thought no body could lay her down
Over the hill came pissball Pete with forty feet of swinging meat
He took her in the long green grass
Stuck his dick right up her ass
Suzy Brown let go a fart
Blew his balls 40 feet apart
Over the hill came pissball Pete
with 40 feet of shredded meat.
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4 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Lucy Zhang on 14-Aug-2005 | Toilet Papers Are WhiteRoses are red.
Violets are blue.
Toilet papers are white.
But not when I'm through!
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2 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Max Willman on 14-Aug-2005 | naughty poems
POEM # 1
I like your style
I like your class
but most of all i like your ass
POEM # 2
Im a cool girl, in a cool town
it takes a real mother fucker to put me down
POEM # 3
Kissing is a habit
Fucking is a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
The guy says i love you
You believe its true
But when your tummy starts to swell,
He says 'to hell with you'
10 minutes of pleasure
9 months in pain
3 days in hospital
A baby without a name
The baby is a bastard
The mother is a whore
This never wouldn't have happened
If the rubber wouldn't have torn
POEM # 4
Guys are like roses,
Watch out for the pricks.
POEM # 5
Smoke a smoke
Not a butt
Fuck a virgin
Not a slut.
POEM # 6
Sex is bad
Sex is a sin
Sins are forgiven
So stick it in.
POEM # 7
Holy mother, full of grace
Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face
Bless his hair that tends to curl
Keep him safe from all the girls
Bless his arms that are so strong
Keep his hands where they belong
Bless his dick, the one i sucked
Bless the bed, in which we fucked
And if my Mom happened to walk in
Bless the shit I'd be in.
POEM # 8
Sex is when a guys communication
enters a girls information
to increase the population
for a younger generation
do you get the information...
or do you need a demonstration
POEM # 9
Men are like public toilets
They are either engaged or full of shit!
POEM # 10
If guys had they periods
They would compare the size of their tampons!
POEM # 11
Mental anxiety,
Mental breakdowns,
Menstrual cramps,
Menopause...
Did you ever notice how all our problems begin with MEN!
POEM # 12
Roses are red,
Violets are corny,
When I think of you
Ohh baby I get horny,
Eat me,
Beat me,
Bite me,
Blow me,
Suck me,
Fuck me,
Very slowly,
if you kiss me,
dont be sassy,
Use your tongue and make it nasty!!!!
(added) Poem #13
Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue...
I'm In Love But Not With You...
When We Broke Up You Thought I Cried
But All It Was...
Was Another Guy,
You Told Your Friends That I Was A Trick,
I Told Mine That You Had A Weak Dick...
I Said I Loved You
And You Thought It Was True,
But Guess What Baby?!
You Got Played Too!!
(added)Poem #14
Guys are like parking spots...
the good ones are always taken...
and the ones that are available,
are either handicapped or too far away!! *Darny*
Send this to...
0 - You will lose the person that your with.
1-5 -someone u like will ask u out
6-10 - u and ur crush will get closer
11 or more - u and your crush will be together 4 a long
time
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15 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Hitman on 14-Aug-2005 | He & SheI am sure you can imagine,
It's as simple as can be,
The plaq is He & She,
She asked if it would hurt,
"Of course not," he would say,
"It's a simple easy process,
only you and I can play."
She was frightened now,
Tears filled in her eyes,
She was hurting very badly,
It might be quite size,
Suddenly she jumped up,
And gave a little shout,
I didn't think it could happen,
but now i'm glad it's out.
Now if you read this carefully,
It's a dentist you will find,
It wasn't what you thought it was,
It was just your dirty mind!!
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4 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Eric J. Herboso on 14-Aug-2005 | Bathroom RulesThis is a place to spill your guts,
Not a place to bust your nuts.
Keep it nice, keep it neat,
Go someplace else to beat your meat.
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