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| Posted by Nancy P. Lynam on 14-Aug-2005 | Happy RabbitA little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he
stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her
and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come with me
running through the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much
better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it
and goes off running with the rabbit.
Then they come across an elephant doing coke, so the rabbit
again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about
your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest,
you'll see, you'll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them,
looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts
running with the rabbit and giraffe.
The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up and
the rabbit again says, "Lion my friend, why do you do this?
Think about your health! Come running with us through the sunny
forest, you will feel so good!"
The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat
the shit out of the rabbit. As the giraffe and elephant watch in
horror, they look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? He
was merely trying to help us all!"
The lion answers, "That little fucker! He makes me run around
the forest like an idiot each time he's on ecstasy!"
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| Posted by Kailee J. Spencer on 14-Aug-2005 | Bobbitt Hillbillies Song(Sung to the tune from 'Beverly Hillbillies')
Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named John.
A poor Ex-Marine with a little fraction gone
It seems one night after getting with the wife
She lopped off his dong with the swipe of a knife.
Penis, that is.
Clean cut.
Missed his nuts.
Well, the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side
And Lorena's in the car taking Willie for a ride
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend
And tossed him out the window as she came around a bend
Curve, that is
Tossed the nub.
In the shrub.
She went to the cops and confessed to the attack
And they called out the hounds just to get his Weenie back
They sniffed and they barked and they pointed "over there!"
To John Wayne's henry that was waving in the air.
Found, that is
By a fence.
Evidence.
Now Peter and John couldn't stay apart too long
So a dick Doc said, "Hey I can fix that dong."
A needle and a thread is all we're gonna need
And the whole world waited 'til they heard that Johnny peed
Whizzed, that is
Even seam,
Straight stream
Well he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court
With a half-assed lawyer cause his assets came up short
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape
And his pecker was the only thing they didn't show on tape
Video, that is
Unexposed.
Case closed.
Ya'll sleep on your stomachs now, ya hear....
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| Posted by Lisa M. Heffner on 14-Aug-2005 | New YorkersAccording to a recent poll, half of New Yorkers say that they
would never move out of the city, mostly because their probation
won't allow it.
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| Posted by sproutz on 14-Aug-2005 | The two Gay GuysOk.. There are these to gay guys fucking eachother up the ass
and one guy says "dont cum until i come back" so he goes to get
a pizza and he comes back to the room and there is cum all over
the walls and stuff and he says HEY i told you not to cum untill
i came back and he says "I didnt I farted!"
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