Funny Quotes
Quotes are a form of word art that twists and turns in every which way making any topic as humorous as possible. www.Funny-Jokes-Portal.com has a wide selection of quotes from all over the world that would satisfy those who like to play around with words. Quotes used to be reserved for words of wisdom that gave advice but the alternate aim of Funny Quotes is dedicated more for humorous aims. www.Funny-Jokes-Portal.com has a section dedicated solely for Funny Quotes giving a reader the best place on the web to find quotes of the funny kind.
www.Funny-Jokes-Portal.com, is considered to be one of the largest if not the largest collection of jokes and many other funny stuff on the web to date that is comprised of almost 60,000 individual entries grouped into more than 90 categories. So for all the best fun stuff and Funny Quotes on the web check out www.Funny-Jokes-Portal.com, where all the best funny jokes and other stuff are. There are literally tons of jokes and other funny stuff in our collection that you’d want to come back again and again to get a dose of fun and laughter to get you going everyday. Humor allows us mere humans to ponder and laugh, allowing us to view life better thus staying healthy for the days to come. So what are you waiting for, log on now and start laughing yourself to a healthier life.
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Funny Quotes
Seen
on the back of a Bomb Squad Technician “ If You see me
running, You’d better do so too.”
“We
live in an age where pizza gets delivered faster than the police”
“It’
clearly a budget, it’s got many numbers in them don’t they”
“Computer
dating is fine, If you’re a computer that is”
“Programming
is a race between programmers who strive to produce idiot-proof programs and
the Universe trying to produce bigger and bigger idiots. The Universe is
wining.”
“To
err is to be human, to really mess things up, you need a computer”
“If
it weren’t for electricity, we’d all be watching the television by
candlelight.”
“USA
Today has come out with a new survey! Apparently three out of four represents
75% of the population.”
“As
far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as
far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality”
“As
long as Algebra is taught in schools prayers will continue to be a main part of
school life”
“Perfect
numbers, like men are very rare indeed”
“the death of a single person is a tragedy, the death of
millions is a statistic”
“Only
one thing is impossible for God, and that is to understand all of the copyright
laws we humans have made.”
| Name | By | Category | Rating | | "I Don't Make Jokes.... | Charlie W. Schwartz | Funny Quotes | 8.37 | | Famous Quotes | Beth Henry | Funny Quotes | 7.00 | | Refrigerator Magnet Slogans | Melanie Mudd | Funny Quotes | 6.50 | | Truisms | Mya F. Whooch | Funny Quotes | 6.00 | | Best Things Ever Said | sam bobi | Funny Quotes | 2.00 | | All Cut Up | Lubo | Funny Quotes | 1.00 | | Homer Simpson | Carrie Sparton | Funny Quotes | 1.00 | | I Think A Really Funny Joke Would Be for NASA To Send Up Rockets And
Push A Bunch of Planets Out Of | gypsygirl | Funny Quotes | 1.00 | | "Sometimes I Wonder If Men and Women Really Suit Each Other. Perhaps
They Should Live Next Door And | Henry Alarcon | Funny Quotes | --- | | "the Best Way To Get Most Husbands To Do Something Is To Suggest That
Perhaps They're Too Old To Do | DlineChick | Funny Quotes | --- | | "I'm Desperately Trying To Figure Out Why... | Sun -. Shine | Funny Quotes | --- | | To Me, Boxing Is Like A Ballet, Except There's... | Jocky | Funny Quotes | --- | | "Behind Every Successful Man Is A Surprised Woman." | Sundi Jo M. Graham | Funny Quotes | --- | | "Sometimes When I'm Sitting in My Car At A... | Dr.16 | Funny Quotes | --- | | "I Think A Secure Profession for Young People... | ~*Angel*~ | Funny Quotes | --- | | "My Mother Never Saw the Irony in Calling... | Vanessa E. Saunders | Funny Quotes | --- | | Better A Cruel Truth Than A Comfortable Delusion.... | Julia A. Lundberg | Funny Quotes | --- | | Watergate Was Worse Than A Crime, It Was A... | Paul Adelman | Funny Quotes | --- | | If God Had Intended Us To Drink Beer, He Would... | Stephanie Lewis | Funny Quotes | --- | | Only A Fool Would Leave the Enjoyment of Rainbows... | JonHui666 | Funny Quotes | --- | | It Is Not True That Life Is One Damn Thing... | jarmo two | Funny Quotes | --- | | "I Was Married By A Judge. I Should Have Asked... | Austin Anderson | Funny Quotes | --- | | "Anytime Four New Yorkers Get Into A Cab Together... | Wedgey Boy | Funny Quotes | --- | | "Any Husband Who Says. "My Wife and I Are Completely Equal Partners," Is
Talking About Either A Law | Jaime M. Albright | Funny Quotes | --- | | "My Second Favorite Household Chore Is Ironing. My First Being Hitting My
Head on the Top Bunk Bed | Arty S. Choco | Funny Quotes | --- | | "I Am A Marvelous Housekeeper. Every Time I Leave A Man I Keep His
House." | NaughtyPillow | Funny Quotes | --- | | "When Women Are Depressed, They Either Eat Or Go Shopping. Men Invade
Another Country. It's A Whole | Lorelea | Funny Quotes | --- | | "Whatever Women Must Do They Must Do Twice As Well As Men To Be
Thought Half As Good. Luckily, This | Hector R. Cruz | Funny Quotes | --- | | "A Male Gynecologist Is Like An Auto Mechanic Who Never Owned A Car." | Joanne Massoud | Funny Quotes | --- | | Miss Bindle Was the Jesse James of Sarcasm: She Could Quick-draw A
Sarcastic Remark and Drill You B | Kellen Cuttance | Funny Quotes | --- | | "I've Been Doing the Fonda Workout: the Peter Fonda Workout. That's Where
I Wake Up, Take A Hit Of | REM | Funny Quotes | --- | | "A Man's Got To Do What A Man's Got To Do. A Woman Must Do What He Can't." | Jennifer M. Talbot | Funny Quotes | --- | | "Laugh and the World Laughs With You. Cry and You Cry With Your
Girlfriends." | sarah simone | Funny Quotes | --- | | "I Base Most of My Fashion Taste on What Doesn't Itch." | Miss Who | Funny Quotes | --- | | "I Squeezed That Sperm Till A Strange Sort... | Sumit W. Khan | Funny Quotes | --- | | "People Who Hate Cats, Will Come Back As Mice... | Peter A. Gelinas | Funny Quotes | --- | | "Thousands of Years Ago, Cats Were Worshipped... | Tony Klassen | Funny Quotes | --- | | After All, I Couldn't Make A Picture Called... | lu v. buggy | Funny Quotes | --- | | Society Is Like A Stew.... | amanda j. tanner | Funny Quotes | --- | | "I Never Gave Them Hell. I Only Told The... | Raymond Kurtis | Funny Quotes | --- | | "Life Without Music Would Be An Intolerable... | Seamus G. Beirne | Funny Quotes | --- | | When Large Numbers of Men Are Unable To Find... | katie e. eylar | Funny Quotes | --- | | the Man With the Best Job in the Country Is... | Amy Hakwkins | Funny Quotes | --- | | "on the One Hand, We'll Never Experience Childbirth.... | dodo zhang | Funny Quotes | --- | | Put It Back in the Horse!... | Vortex | Funny Quotes | --- | | I Love California. I Practically Grew Up In... | Hash Brown | Funny Quotes | --- | | Eternal Nothingness Is Okay If You're Dressed... | Pumpkin Pie | Funny Quotes | --- | | "Sometimes I Think Astronauts Are the Luckiest... | imadumbass9889 | Funny Quotes | --- | | Never Take A Job Where Winter Winds Can Blow... | Kaveh C. Mohebbi | Funny Quotes | --- | | I Spilt Spot Remover on My Dog, Now's He Gone.... | CuteCat | Funny Quotes | --- |
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