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There is an old cliche that crime does not pay, but sometimes you have to wonder. Of course, the intellect of the person committing the crime certainly needs to be taken into account! Stupid Criminal Anecdotes When it comes to crimes, there are types of designations in law. There are intentional acts committed with malice, crimes of passion, criminally negligent acts and so on. Alas, there has never been a section of law carved out for the truly stupid criminal. If you are ever feeling a bit down and lacking a little confidence, the following individuals should serve to give you a boost. 1. In a legendary episode, a man in New York City once walked into a police station to report a crime. Specifically, he wanted to make a complaint against a man who had sold him a defective product, claiming he had been defrauded. Much to the surprise of the police, the product was crack cocaine and the man had brought the defective product with him! 2. A man walked into a bank and nervously stood in line while waiting for an open window. When he approached the window, he slipped the clerk a note indicating he was robbing the bank. He wore not disguise of any sort. She filled the bag and the man left without incident. The police arrived at the scene and began investigating. Roughly 15 minutes later, the thief walked back into the bank and tried to deposit the cash he had just stolen into his personal account! 3. In a sick, but true, story, a man decided he need gas and couldn’t afford to buy any. Looking for a likely vehicle, he approached a motor home and started siphoning. A motor home, of course, has both a gasoline and sewage tank. You can guess the rest. 4. A woman had her purse snatched one day on a city street by a young man. A few weeks later, the police informed her that a man had been apprehended. The case proceed to trial and the woman sat to testify. As the prosecutor asked her question, he came to the common one wherein he asked the woman, “Is the person who did this in the room” The defendant raised his hand! 5. A man in Texas is stopped on a road late one night after driving erratically. The officer has him do all the physical tests for driving under the influence. He passes all of them perfectly and the officer is fairly amazed. She asks him to take one final test, the walk the line test. The man does it perfectly and then finishes with a little dance. The officer asked him if he always dances so well. The man responds, “No, only when I’m drunk!” Not only is this true, but a video of the event exists on the web. At the end of the day, there are a lot of people committing a lot of serious crimes in society. Fortunately, a lot of them are lacking in intelligence.
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| Posted by willard sunnex on 14-Aug-2005 | Think YOU'RE having a bad day? It seems like some people are
just plain doomed.
Surprised while burgling a house in Antwerp, Belgium, a thief
fled out the back door, clambered over a nine-foot wall, dropped
down and found himself in the city prison.
*****
In 1976 a twenty-two-year-old Irishman, Bob Finnegan, was
crossing the busy Falls Road in Belfast, when he was struck by a
taxi and flung over its roof. The taxi drove away and, as
Finnegan lay stunned in the road, another car ran into him,
rolling him into the gutter. It too drove on. As a knot of
gawkers gathered to examine the magnetic Irishman, a delivery
van plowed through the crowd, leaving in its wake three injured
bystanders and an even more battered Bob Finnegan. When a fourth
vehicle came along, the crowd wisely scattered and only one
person was hit-Bob Finnegan. In the space of two minutes
Finnegan suffered a fractured skull, broken pelvis, broken leg,
and other assorted injuries. Hospital officials said he would
recover.
*****
While motorcycling through the Hungarian countryside, Cristo
Falatti came up to a railway line just as the crossing gates
were coming down. While he sat idling, he was joined by a farmer
with a goat, which the farmer tethered to the crossing gate. A
few moments later a horse and cart drew up behind Falatti,
followed in short order by a man in a sports car. When the train
roared through the crossing, the horse startled and bit Falatti
on the arm. Not a man to be trifled with, Falatti responded by
punching the horse in the head. In consequence the horse's owner
jumped down from his cart and began scuffling with the
motorcyclist. The horse, which was not up to this sort of
excitement, backed away briskly, smashing the cart into the
sports- car. At this, the sports-car driver leaped out of his
car and joined the fray. The farmer came forward to try to
pacify the three flailing men. As he did so, the crossing gates
rose and his goat was strangled. At last report, the insurance
companies were still trying to sort out the claims.
*****
Two West German motorists had an all-too-literal head-on
collision in heavy fog near the small town of Guetersloh. Each
was guiding his car at a snail's pace near the center of the
road. At the moment of impact their heads were both out of the
windows when they smacked together. Both men were hospitalized
with severe head injuries. Their cars weren't scratched.
*****
In a classic case of one thing leading to another, seven men
aged eighteen to twenty-nine received jail sentences of three to
four years in Kingston-on-Thames, England, in 1979 after a fight
that started when one of the men threw a french fry at another
while they stood waiting for a train.
*****
Hitting on the novel idea that he could end his wife's incessant
nagging by giving her a good scare, Hungarian Jake Fen built an
elaborate harness to make it look as if he had hanged himself.
When his wife came home and saw him she fainted. Hearing a
disturbance a neighbor came over and, finding what she thought
were two corpses, seized the opportunity to loot the place. As
she was leaving the room, her arms laden, the outraged and
suspended Mr. Fen kicked her stoutly in the backside. This so
surprised the lady that she dropped dead of a heart attack.
Happily, Mr. Fen was acquitted of manslaughter and he and his
wife were reconciled.
*****
An unidentified English woman, according to the London Sunday
Express was climbing into the bathtub one afternoon when she
remembered she had left some muffins in the oven. Naked, she
dashed downstairs and was removing the muffins when she heard a
noise at the door. Thinking it was the baker, and knowing he
would come in and leave a loaf of bread on the kitchen table if
she didn't answer his knock, the woman darted into the broom
cupboard. A few moments later she heard the back door open and,
to her eternal mortification, the sound of footsteps coming
toward the cupboard. It was the man from the gas company, come
to read the meter. "Oh," stammered the woman, "I was expecting
the baker." The gas man blinked, excused himself and departed.
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