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| Posted by Tr Howes on 14-Aug-2005 | 7-11What do you call Monica Luinske's Lips?
7-11 ,Because they never close.
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| Posted by Alan Kovacs on 14-Aug-2005 | Bill Clinton & JFKWhats the difference between Bill Clinton and JFK?
One got his head blown off in the back seat of a car, the other was
asassinated.
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| Posted by Shane Gonz on 14-Aug-2005 | I Liked That Dress...Did you hear what Bill Clinton said to Monica Lewinsky? "Monica, I liked
that dress the first time I spotted it."
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| Posted by Joe B. Bob on 14-Aug-2005 | Monica Who?Mrs. Clinton: Knock-Knock.
Bill Clinton: Who's there?
Mrs. Clinton: Monica.
Bill Clinton: Monica who?
Mrs. Clinton: Great Bill, now just use that in trial!
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| Posted by Box Social on 14-Aug-2005 | Paula Jones and The CigarA gruop of reporters were interviewing Paula Jones. One of the reporters
asked, "Ms. Jones was your relationship with the president anything like
Monica Lewinsky's?" Paula responded, "Close, but no cigar!"
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| Posted by Courtney L. van Emmerik on 14-Aug-2005 | Government/Politician Q&AQ. Why are there only twelve Republicans in Heaven?
A. Because if there were any more it would be Hell.
Q. Why is the Democrats mascot a donkey?
A. Because they're all asses.
Q. Why isn't there a speed limit in Montana?
A. Because between the Freemen and the Unibomber you want to get the hell
out of there.
Q. What do you call someone in the White House that is honest, loyal to
his country and law abiding?
A. A tourist .
Q. What's the first thing Bill Clinton says to his wife after he has sex?
A. "Hillary I'll be home in an hour."
Q. Do you know why they canceled Rush Limbaugh's show.
A. Because not enough people had big screen T.V.'s
Q. Why does Bill Clintons dog help his image so much.
A. Because compared to a dog Bill Clinton's sex life is normal.
Q. Do you know what the name of Boris Yeltsons cheap knock off of the
movie Air Force One is called?
A. Air Bud.
Q. If Dan Quale, Ted Kennedy and Bill Clinton were in a spelling bee which
would win?
A. Dan Quale would, he is the only one that knows the harass in one word.
Q. Why is Bill Clinton afraid to invite Marion Barry to the White House?
A. Because he doesn't want The White House to become The Crack House.
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| Posted by Pepper Ann on 14-Aug-2005 | Clinton's New PetBill Clinton now has a dog in the Oval Office instead of a cat. This way
it won't "sound" suspicious when he says, "Roll over and get your bone!"
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| Posted by Martin Lynch on 14-Aug-2005 | Twas the Night Before CrisisTwas the night before crisis,
And behind White House doors,
Not a creature was stirring,
Especially Al Gore.
The interns were nestled,
Dressed in their berets,
In hopes that Saint Bubba
Would come out to play.
When on the East Lawn,
There arose such a clatter,
Even Sam Donaldson
Lost control of his bladder.
Away to our TVs
We flew like a flash,
There's a special report,
And it's pre-empting M*A*S*H!
And what to our wondering
Eyes should appear,
But a homely lil' troll,
With tapes for us to hear.
With a K-Mart bought blazer,
And a bad frizzy 'do,
And a tale to be told-
To me, and to you.
On the chair! On the carpet!
On the Oval Office desk!
With a chubby young intern,
Who was all eyes and chest.
The Pres had been careless,
Indeed, dumb and dumber.
Now the whole world knew
Bubba Had gotten a hummer.
And Monica Lewinsky
Emerged from the rubble,
If she'd just kept her mouth shut,
We'd not have all this trouble.
And thus set in motion,
A whole web o' spiders,
With pundits galore,
And "White House insiders.
You ask, "Who would care
About Bill and his penis?"
Republican Ken Starr,
And he's armed with subpoenas!
More rapid than eagles,
Process servers, they flew!
"Here's one for you!
And for you! And you, too!"
"Now Jordan! Now Cockell!
Is there anyone else?!?
Let's subpoena the lawyers!
And Bubba himself!!"
"We want you to tell us
About Bill's private life,
And anyone he sleeps with,
'cept, of course, his wife."
And many months later,
After long we've all suffered,
Let's examine more closely
Just what Starr's uncovered.
We've learned "Little Bill"
Has a mind of his own,
And - horror of horrors -
He likes to get blown!
A funny fact surfaced,
After 40 million bucks:
Seems most people don't care
Just who Clinton, er, makes love to.
The economy's great,
And shows no signs of slowing.
Hell, we hope Ms. Lewinsky
NEVER stops blowing!
Now the public's grown weary.
Will this sleaze never end?
We just want to get back
To "E.R.", and to "Friends."
Now Monica, Linda --
And Ken Starr, you suck -
Get the hell off my TV,
Your 15 minutes are up.
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| Posted by Jaime M. Albright on 14-Aug-2005 | HandwritingOne day Hillary is out taking a walk and comes upon the words "Hillary
sux!" written in piss. She says to her secret service men " I want to know
who did this!" So they come back two days later and say, "Ma'am, we have
bad news and worse news. The bad news is that it's the President's piss.
The worse news is that it's Monica Lewinske's handwriting.
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| Posted by Eric Willis on 14-Aug-2005 | Political Treasury BondsDue to critical problems with prior issues, it was announced today
that new Treasury Bonds will soon be issued:
The Monica, does not mature;
The Gore, has no interest;
The Clinton, has no principle
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