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| Posted by Rachel E. Winograd on 07-Aug-2005 | Things came to a head last week and the name...Things came to a head last week and the name Monica Lewinsky is fast
becoming a real mouthful at the White House. The latest news about
President Clinton is definitely hard to swallow and seems certain to
leave a nasty taste in the mouth of the current administration. It
will be some time before all the stains resulting from this issue are
removed from the Oval Office.
Monica Lewinsky has proved to be not as tight lipped as Clinton had
hoped and is expected to spit out the truth to a Grand Jury tomorrow.
She will surely go down in history for her orations concerning the
comings and goings behind the doors of the Oval Office. Monica was
apparently on her knees when she received the recent gagging order
from the White House and now has to decide whether to swallow her pride
and dispose of the evidence, or to succumb to the deep throated
rumblings of the Washington Press Corp. and spill the issue wide open.
Any attempt by Lewinsky to suck up to Clinton can only be construed as
lip service and Clinton would be advised to try and minimize the
impact of this, the latest in a long series of blows he has received
since coming to power. Despite this latest blow, job security for the
President seems to be assured, as he can rely on his proven oral
skills to promote a career in public speaking, being, as he has often
shown, a cunning linguist. (Although Hillary Clinton may disagree with
this, as she claims she is rarely on the end of a tongue lashing from
Bill!)
Miss Lewinsky is from a naval background and her choice of Bill
Clinton as a lover is somewhat surprising, given her preference for
seamen. According to her lawyer, Miss Lewinsky likes to see men in
power and relished the thought of taking a length of time to chew things
over with the President, whenever she could fit him in. And the
President was equally keen to see Miss Lewinsky, always putting on a
spurt when he entered her office.
Miss Leweinsky has apparently been offered a PR job by Listerine, who
described her as spunky enough for any job. Her name has also been
associated with Big Gulp soda advertising and Kleenex.
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| Posted by weirdgirl27 on 10-Aug-2005 | Chelsea look so stupid and uglyQ: Why does Chelsea look so stupid and ugly?
A: Heredity.
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| Posted by Galactic Girl on 07-Aug-2005 | Secret Service are agents expected to testify...Secret Service are agents expected to testify that Monica Lewinsky was in the
oval office with the President unescorted for 40 minutes, But everything
was O.K, she was just giving the President a debriefing.
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| Posted by John C. Cano on 10-Aug-2005 | Bill Clinton's pictureq: why do they put bill clinton's picture on the insides of toilet bowls?
a: so the a******* can see whom they voted for.
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| Posted by TigerFly on 07-Aug-2005 | What was the first thing Monica Lewinsky saw...What was the first thing Monica Lewinsky saw in Washington?
The executive branch.
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| Posted by hiyayaywhopee on 09-Aug-2005 | 3 ButtonsSaddam Hussein and George Dubya Bush met up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process.
When George Dubya sits down, he notices 3 buttons on the side of Saddam's chair. They begin talking. After about 5 minutes, Saddam presses the first button.
A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face. Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs.
A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the 2 countries.
But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the privates, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them functioning well. 'I'm going back home!' he tells the Iraqi. 'We'll finish these talks in two weeks!'
A fortnight passes and Saddam flies to the United States for talks.
As the 2 men sit down, Hussein notices 3 buttons on Bush's chair and prepares himself for the Yank's revenge.
They begin talking and George Dubya presses the first button. Saddam ducks, but nothing happens. Bush sniggers.
A few seconds later he presses the second button. Saddam jumps up, but again nothing happens. Bush roars with laughter. When the third button is pressed, Saddam jumps up again, and again nothing happens.
Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics. 'F*ck this,' says Saddam. 'I'm going back to Baghdad!'
Bush then says through tears of laughter, 'WHAT Baghdad?'
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Braden Anderson on 07-Aug-2005 | What was the last gift Bill gave to Monica?...What was the last gift Bill gave to Monica?
Spot remover.
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| Posted by Draco Malfoy on 07-Aug-2005 | Why does Monica Lewinsky have chubby cheeks?...Why does Monica Lewinsky have chubby cheeks?
She's withholding evidence!
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| Posted by Tiger Fly on 10-Aug-2005 | Improving schools to Improving jailsQ: Why is Bill Clinton diverting federal funds from improving schools to
improving jails?
A: Because when his term is through, he won't be going to school.
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| Posted by jumbo shrimp on 10-Aug-2005 | Why does Hillary always try to get on top?Q: Why does Hillary always try to get on top?
A: Because Bill can only f--- up.
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