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| Posted by Jumpo Kinkytail on 14-Aug-2005 | The TrainOn a train...A woman was sitting between a Greek Guy And A
Turkish Guy
...As the Train passed a tunnel, which made the whole area pitch
black, the Greek Guy made a kissing noise, The women then
thought that the Turkish guy had kissed her, and she slapped
him..Hard. The Turkish guy thought ' that greek guy must've
kissed her and thought it was me '. When the next Tunnel came
by, The same happened. The Kiss noise. The Slap. The turkish guy
thought ' I hope the next tunnel isnt coming soon '.
Krappy joke..
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| Posted by Brittani A. Smith on 14-Aug-2005 | 124 Dead Baby JokesQ: Whats small, goes around in circles and taps on the window ?
A: Baby in a microwave
Q: What's blue and sits in the corner?
A: A dead baby
Q: What's green and sits in the corner?
A: Same baby two weeks later
Q: Whats small, brown, and spits ?
A: Baby in a frying pan
Q: Why should you put a baby in a blender feet first ?
A: So you can watch it's expression change.
Q: How do you get a dead baby across the street?
A: Staple it to a chicken.
Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: Take your foot off its head. or
A: One scoop of dead baby and three scoops of ice cream.
Q: How do you get 1000 babies in a telephone booth?
A: Blender
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Straw
Q: What's black and blue and smokes in the corner?
A: A baby chewing on an extention cord.
Q: What's small, red, and can't turn corners?
A: A baby with a javelin through its head.
Q: What is pink, red and silver and bumps into walls?
A: A baby with forks in it's eyes
Q: What's sicker than driving over a baby?
A: Skidding
Q: What's even sicker?
A: Picking it out of the tires
Q: What gets shorter & shorter and redder & redder?
A: A baby combing its hair with a potato peeler.
Q: What's the difference between a truckload of babies and a
truckload of oats?
A: You can't use a pitchfork in oats.
Q: what's worse than a hundred dead babies on the back of a
truck?
A: 100 dead babies on the back of a truck and a live one eating
its way out from the
bottom?
Q: What's red and dances
A: A baby on a barbecue
Q: What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A: A baby tied to the back of a truck.
Q: What's brown and gurgles?
A: A baby in a casserole.
Q: Whats the best thing about a siamese twin baby?
A: Threesomes.
Q: What's red and goes round and round?
A: A baby in a garbage disposal.
Q: What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A: You can't hide dead babies in a gay man.
Q: What's more fun than strapping a baby to a washingline and
then spinning it around at
200km/h?
A: Stopping it with a shovel.
Q: What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging
on your wall?
A: Art
Q: What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs laying
on your porch?
A: Matt
Q: What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs laying
on a beach?
A: Sandy
Q: What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in a
swimming pool?
A: Bob
Q: What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in the
middle of the ocean?
A: Fucked
Q: Whats worse than smoking pot with a baby?
A: Making a bong out of it.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a felt tip
marker?
A: you don't get second looks when you're writing with a felt
tip marker!
Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road?
A: It was chained to a bumper.
Q: What do you have when you have 4 dead babies, take away two,
and add 5 more?
A: An orgy!
Q: If a tree falls on a baby in the forest, and no one is around
to hear it, is it still hilarious?
Q: What is red and creeps up your leg?
A: A homesick abortion.
Q: What's red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A: A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
Q: What do vegetarian dingos eat?
A: Cabbage patch kids.
Q : Whats white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ?
A : A Pedophiles ass.
Q: What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead baby?
A: A watermelon floats.
Q: Whats the safest way to play with a baby ?
A: With a condom.
Q: What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A: A baby in a trash compacter.
Q: What's the difference between a lamp and a dead baby?
A: It's really easy to turn on a lamp.
Q: Whats does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for
Christmas ?
A: Cancer.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
A: When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
Q: What's the difference between a baby and a bagel?
A: You can put a bagel in the toaster. You have to put the baby
in the oven.
Q: What's the difference between a bucket of gravel and a bucket
of baby guts?
A: You can't gargle gravel.
Q: Why did the toddler fall off his bike?
A: A fridge fell on him .
Q: Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork?
A: So you can tell which ones are still alive.
Q: How do you know when you hit a live one?
A: The pitchfork shakes
Q: What's this? (hold arms out and shake them)
A: A live one.
Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor?
A: A baby playing in a plastic bag.
Q: What is bright blue, pink, and sizzles?
A: A baby trying to breast feed from an electrical outlet.
Q: What's sicker than driving over a baby?
A: Skidding.
Q: How do you spoil a baby?
A: Leave it out in the sun.
Q: How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole?
A: Stick a javelin through it's head.
Q: How do you make a gay men pregnant?
A: stick a dead baby up his ass!
Q: Why did the toddler drop it's lollypop?
A: It was hit by a truck...
Q: What goes plop, plop, fizz, fizz?
A: Twins in an acid bath.
Q: What's red, screams and goes around in circles?
A: A baby with its foot nailed to the floor.
Q: What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead
babies?
A: I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.
Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house?
A: Depends how hard you throw them
Q: Whats more fun than feeling up a dead baby
A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples
Q: What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape?
A: The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun
Q: How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day?
A: You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a boquet of
roses up his ass.
Q: Why did the Baby fall out of the Tree?
A: Because he was DEAD!
Q: What's grosser than gross?
A: A garbage can full of dead babies.
Q: What's grosser than that?
A: The one at the bottom is still alive.
Q: What's grosser than that?
A: He has to eat his way to freedom.
Q: What's grosser than that?
A: He goes back for more.
Q: How do you get a baby to run faster?
A: Chase it with the lawn mower.
Q. What's the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
A. You don't cry when you chop up a dead baby.
Q: What has 4 legs and one arm?
A: A Doberman in a children's playground!
Q:What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
A:They're fun to ride until they die.
Q: What happens when you burn baby's face off?
A: It makes weird noises and crawls into walls.
Q: what's funnier than a dead baby?
A: a dead baby sitting next to a kid with down syndrome.
Q: What do you get whan you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
A: Deep Throat.
Q: What's blue and bloated and floating in your beer?
A: A dead baby with fetal alcohol syndrome!
Q: Whats white and red and hangs from a telephone wire?
A: A baby shot through a snowblower.
Q: How do you know when a baby is a dead baby?
A: The dog plays with it more.
Q: What does a bum call a dead baby in a dumpster?
A: A Freeloader.
Q: What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender?
A: Hold on. I'll tell you in a second.
Q: What is better than a dead baby?
A: The revoked child-support.
Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
A: Grandmothers dont die when you fuck them in the ass
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a peanut butter
cup?
A: The dead baby won't stick to the roof of your mouth.
Q: Why didn't they crucify baby jesus?
A: I dont know why they didn't either.
Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls
and a truck full of dead
babies?
A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a
pitchfork.
Q: What's the worst thing about fucking a dead baby?
A: Wiping the blood stains off of your clown suit!
Q: What's the best sound in the world?
A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure!
Q: what wiggles spits and is covered in shit?
A: inside out baby!
Q: What's blue and orange and lies at the bottom of a swimming
pool?
A: A baby with burst armbands.
Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby.
Q: Whats worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Q: What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ?
A: Crib death.
Q: Why is there always hot water at childbirth?
A: In case of a stillbirth, soup.
Q: How do you stop a baby from choking?
A: Take your dick out of its mouth.
Q: What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before
exploding?
A: A baby in a microwave.
Q: When is the best time to bury that baby you killed?
A: When it starts talking to you again.
Q: How many babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
A: It depends on how hard you squeeze them.
Q: What's more fun than stapling babies to a wall?
A: Ripping them off again.
Q: What do you call a dead baby with its skin peeled off?
A: Sexy.
Q: What's funnier than a dead baby?
A: A dead baby in a clown costume!
Q: What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds?
A: A baby with a punctured lung.
Q: What do you call a dead baby pinned to your wall?
A: Art!
Q: How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
A: With a blender!
Q: How do you get them out again?
A: With Doritos!!
Q: What is pink and red and sits in a corner?
A: A baby chewing on razor blades.
Q: What is green and sits in a corner?
A: The same baby, six weeks later.
Q: What is red and pink and can't turn round in a corridor?
A: A baby with a javelin through its throat.
Q: What is more disgusting than a pile of 100 dead babies?
A: One live one in the middle is eating its way out.
Q: What's blue and sits in the corner?
A: A baby in a baggie.
Q: What's present do you get for a dead baby?
A: A dead puppy.
Q: What's purple, covered in pus and squeals?
A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
Q: What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and
smaller?
A: A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler!
Q: What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls?
A: A baby with forks in its eyes.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It was stapled to the chicken.
Q: What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor?
A: An erection.
Q: Why did the baby fall off the swing?
A: Because it had no arms or legs.
Q: What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals?
A: A bus load of babies on fire.
Q: What's harder to do than nailing a baby to a tree?
A: Nailing it to a dead puppy.
Q: What's grosser than ten dead babies nailed to a tree?
A: One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
Q: What's pink and chunky?
A: A baby with leporacy.
Q: Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads?
A: So you can pick them up five at a time.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach
the socket.
Q: What's pink and spits?
A: A baby in a frying pan.
Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the
morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: What's more fun than a barrel of dead babies?
A: Sticking pins in their eyes.
Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear
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| Posted by Alisha Cook on 14-Aug-2005 | Taliban BingoHow do you play Taliban Bingo?
B-52....F-16......
(Hint:If you don't know much about airplanes, then you probally
won't get this. A B-52 and an F-16 are types of jets.
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| Posted by HymenBreaker on 14-Aug-2005 | Bin Laden changed his namebin laden changed his name to BINHIDDEN
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| Posted by Katrina on 14-Aug-2005 | Little boy"Mommy, mommy", a little boy said, "why do I keep going around
in circles?"
"Shut up, or I will nail your other foot to the floor!"
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| Posted by bruny on 14-Aug-2005 | hot dogA Buddist walks up to a hot dog stand and says "make me one with
everything"
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| Posted by Paul S. Morette on 14-Aug-2005 | yo mama (funny)yo mama is so fat the last tiem she saw 90210 was on teh bathroom
scale!~
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| Posted by Emily Eddy on 14-Aug-2005 | WomenWhy were shopping carts invented
To teach women how to walk on there hind legs
What a similarity between guns and a women
the more they're around, the more you want to shoot them
How many women does it take to shovel the drive way
Who the hell cares, what are they doing out of the kitchen
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| Posted by Bruce Henry on 14-Aug-2005 | Wheres Afgahnistan?(Someone I Know Told Me This)
Its around 2304 and a boy and his son is walking through New
York. The dad stops and goes "Son, right here where I am
standing was where the World Trade Centers were." the son
asks..."Dad what is the World Trade Center and what happened to
it?" the dad replies..."Well, it was two tall buildings that
went up to the sky and this fucking gay ass son of a bitch named
Osama Bin Laden, sent people out to destroy is by having a plane
fly into each building." (he demonstrates with his hands)and he
continues on..."Osama lived in Afgahnistan and thats where we
kicked his ass." the boy curiously asks "Daddy, where is
Afgahnistan?"
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| Posted by Brandi J. Austin on 14-Aug-2005 | knittingDid you hear about the plane they stopped from take off at
Cleveland-Hopkins
This older Lady had Crochet needles
and was knitting away.
so they stopped the take off,
They were afraid she was going to knit an Afgan
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