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| Posted by animal jokes on 14-Aug-2005 | De Ebonics Crimmus PomeWuz de nite befo Crimmus;
An' all ower de hood;
ereybody wuz' sleepin';
Dey wuz sleepin' good.
We hunged up our stockings;
An hoped like de' heck;
That ol Sanna Clause;
Be bringin' our check.
All o'de fambily;
Wuz layin in de beds;
While Ripple and Thunderbird;
Dance tru' dey heads.
I passed out inna' flo;
Right nex to my Maw;
When I heard sech a fuss;
I thunk: "It mus be de law!!!"
I looked out thru de bars;
What covered my doe;
'spectin' de sheriff;
Wif a warrent fo sho.
And what did I see;
I said, "Lawd look at dat!!"
Ther' wuz a huge watermellon;
Pulled by giant warf rats!!
Now ober all de years;
Santa Clause, he be white;
But looks liken us bros;
Gets a black Sanna dis nite.
Faster dan a Po'lees car;
My home boy he came;
He whupped on dem warf rats;
An' called dem by name!
On Leroy, on 'Lonzo ;
And on Willie Lee;
On Saphire, on Chenequa;
Dey wuz a site to see!!
As he landed dat watta' mellon;
Out der in da skreet;
I knowed it was fo' sho';
Da damndest site I ebber did see.
He didn't go down no chimbley;
He picked da' lock on my doe;
An' I sez to myself;
"Shit!! He done dis befoe!!!"
He had dis big bag;
Full of prezents I 'xpect;
Wid Air Jordans and fake gold;
To wear roun' my neck.
But he left no good prezents;
Jus started stealing my shit;
Got my drugs, got my guns,
Even got my burglar's kit!!
Wit my stuff in de bag;
Out da window he flewed;
I woudda' tried to catched him;
But he stoled my 'nife too!!
He jumped on dat wadda' mellon;
an' whipped out a switch;
He wuz gone in a seccon';
Dat son of a bitch!!
Next year I be hopin':
Anutha Sanna we git;
Cuz' diz here Sanna Clause;
Jus' ain't werf a shit!!!
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| Posted by Brian w. willis on 14-Aug-2005 | SizesPenises come in 5 sizes:
1. Small
2. Medium
3. Large
4. Oh My God!!!
5. Does that come in white?
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| Posted by barry K. tanishi on 14-Aug-2005 | An Ebonics Christmas'Twas da night befo' Christmas & all in the hood,
Not a homie was stirring cuz it was all good.
The tube socks was hung on the window sill
and we all had smiles up on our grill.
Mookie and BeBe was snug in the crib
in the back bedroom, cuz that's how we live.
And Moms in her do-rag and me with my nine,
had just gotten busy cuz girlfriend is fine.
All of a sudden a lowrider rolled by,
Bumpin' phat beats cuz the system's fly.
I bounced to the window at a quarter pas'
'Bout ready to pop a cap in somebody's ass!
well anyway....
I yelled to my lady, Yo peep this!
She said, Stop frontin' & just mind yo' bidness.
I said, for real doe, come check dis out.
We weren't even buggin', no worries, no doubt.
Cuz bumpin' an thumpin' from around da way
Was Santa, 8 reindeer and a sleigh.
Da beats was kickin', da ride was phat
I said, "Yo red Dawg, you all that!"
He threw up a sign and yelled to his boyz,
"Ay yo, give it up, let's make some noise!"
To the top of the projects & across the strip mall,
We gots ta go, I got a booty call!"
He pulled up his ride on the top a da roof,
and sippin' on a 40, he busted a move.
I yelled up to Santa, "Yo ain't got no stack!"
he said, "Damn homie, deese projects is wack!
But don't worry black, cuz I gots da skillz
I learnt back when I hadda pay da billz."
Out from his bag he pulled 3 small tings
a credit card, a knife, and a bobby pin.
He slid down the fire exscape smoove as a cat,
and busted the window wit' a b-ball bat.
I said, "Whassup, Santa? Whydya bust my place?"
he said,"You best get on up out my face!"
His threads was all leatha, his chains was all gold,
His sneaks was Puma and they was 5 years old.
He dropped down the duffle, Clippers logo on the side.
Santa broke out da loot and my mouf popped open wide.
A wink of his eye and a shine off his gold toof,
He cabbage patched his way back onto the roof
He jumped in his hooptie wit' rims made of chrome,
To tap that booty waitin' at home.
And all I heard as he cruised outta sight,
was a loud and hearty.....
"WEEESST SIIIIDE!!!!!!!"
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6 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by dan mcclenaghan on 14-Aug-2005 | Traveling parrotOne day this bartender is cleaning off the bar when a black guy
walks into the bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender
looks up and says:
"Where did ya get that?"
The parrot says, "AFRICA".
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4 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Caleb J. Pering on 14-Aug-2005 | A DuckA Duck Walks into a bar and asks the bar tender "Do you have any
grapes"?
The bar tender says "No come back tommorow."
The next day the duck goes into the bar and asks the maneger,
"Do you have and grapes?
The maneger says "No" "And if you come back again i'm goin to
staple your feet to the floor!!",
Next day he goes back and says
"You got any staples"?
The bar tender says
"No."
So he says
"Got any grapes?"
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4 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Kricket1418 on 14-Aug-2005 | Colored PeopleWhen I was born
I was Black
When I grow up
I am black
When I sick
I am black
When I go in the sun
I am black
When I am cold
I am black
When I die
I am black
But You
When you are born
you are pink
When you grow up
you are white
When you are sick
you turn green
When you go in the sun
you get red
When you are cold
you turn blue
When you die
you turn purple
And you have the fucking nerve to call me COLORED!
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10 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Alex Martynov on 14-Aug-2005 | Racial Dog NameA guy is sitting outside a pub balling his eyes out when a cop
comes up and asks what's wrong. "My dog is trapped in side, he's
sitting under a table surrounded by black men." So, the cop
said, "just call him".
The guy now crying even more said, "I can't you call him." The
cop said, "alright what's the dog's name?" Now a wreck, the guy
stuttered, "n-n-nig---".
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| Posted by Cow Man on 14-Aug-2005 | Color of GodTwo little boys, one black, and one white, had a continous
argument over the color of God. The black boy argued that God
had to be black, and the white boy said that God had to be white.
One day, the little black boy says "Why don't we ask Him?"
So the boys knelt down to pray, both asking God what color He
was. Out of the Heavens, a booming voice replied "I AM WHAT I AM"
The little black boy looked sad, but the white boy jumped up,
feeling victorious. "I told you he was white!!", the white boy
yelled.
"How you know that?" asked the black boy.
"Because if he was black he would've said, "I is who I is!"
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| Posted by Gillian Jones on 14-Aug-2005 | Zebra's ColorOne day a zebra went a lion, the king of the jungled, and asked,
"Am I black with white stripes or white with black stipes." The
lion replied, "I don't know. Go ask God."
So the zebra went to ask God. God said, "You are what you are."
The zebra went back and told the lion what god said. The lion
said, "You must be white with black stripes." "Why", asked the
zebra. The lion replied, "Because if you were black with white
stripes God would of said 'you is what you is.'"
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| Posted by Joe R. Blow on 14-Aug-2005 | how toHow do u get a black person to stop jumping on ur bed
put velcro on the ceiling
How do u get them down
Call three mexicans and tell them its a pinyada
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5 people have rated this joke: |
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