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| Posted by Samantha A. S on 14-Aug-2005 | International BashQ. A black and a Puerto Rican are in the same car, who's
driving?
A. The Policeman
Q. What do you call a Greek girl who keeps running away from
home?
A. A virgin.
Q. What do Orientals use Dental Floss for?
A. Blindfolds.
Q. Hear about the library that burnt down in Paris?
A. Destroyed their entire collection and they hadn't even
finished colouring in the second one!
Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on
the same day in Iraq?
A. They don't want to wear out the camel.
Q. Who won the Belgian beauty contest?
A. Nobody.
Q. Why do Italian men have mustaches?
A. So they can look like their mothers.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini
skirts?
A: Cause their balls show!
Q. British General addressing Australian troops: Did you come
here to die?
A. No mate, we came here yester-die.
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| Posted by Alket Memushaj on 14-Aug-2005 | Learn Chinese In 5 MinutesLearn Chinese in 5 Minutes
ENGLISH PHRASE CHINESE TRANSLATION
Are you harboring a fugitive? Hu Yu Hai Ding?
See me A.S.A.P. Kum Hia Nao
Stupid Man Dum Gai
Small Horse Tai Ni Po Ni
Your price is too high!! No Bai Dam Thing!!
Did you go to the beach? Wai Yu So Tan?
I bumped into a coffee table Ai Bang Mai Ni
I think you need a facelift Chin Tu Fat
It's very dark in here Wai So Dim?
Has your flight been delayed? Hao Long Wei Ting?
That was an unauthorized execution. Lin Ching
I thought you were on a diet Wai Yu Mun Ching?
This is a tow away zone. No Pah King
Do you know the lyrics to the Macarena Song? Wai Yu Sing Dum
You are not very bright Yu So Dum
I got this for free Ai No Pei
I am not guilty Wai Hang Mi?
Please, stay a while longer. Wai Go Nao?
Our meeting was scheduled for next week Wai Yu Kum Nao
They have arrived Hia Dei Kum
Stay out of sight Lei Lo
He's cleaning his automobile Wa Shing Ka
Your body odor is offensive Hu Man Go!
Pew! does this bathroom stink! Hu Flung Dung?
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| Posted by Krazie on 14-Aug-2005 | Chinese playin'A man suspects his wife of cheating on him. So, to find out he
hires a Chinese detective to spy on her. It turns out he's
right. The Chinese detective follows his wife and a man to a
restaurant. Then they drove to a hotel. He follows them there
and climbs up a tree so he can see into their room. This whole
time he has been taking notes, so he takes more while watching
them in the room. He writes: "He kiss she, she kiss he. He
undress she, she undress he. He touch she, she touch he. He play
with she, she play with he, I play with me and fall out of tree."
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| Posted by stew pid on 14-Aug-2005 | Chinese Girlfriend A man lets call him bob was going out with a chinese
girl named Ping. Ping couldnt speak a word of english
and anyway one night Bob was fucking Ping shouted out "HARGER"
bob thought this meant harder so he started fucking her harder.
Again she shouted out "HARGER" bob was surprized and started
fucking her harder again. Now ping was roaring "HARGER"
"HARGER" "HARGER!!!!". Bob fucked her with all his might and
when he reached his orgasm she again shouted "HARGER". she
looked very angry and rolled over and went to sleep.
The next morning Bob was playing golf with ping's brother
Pong (who could speak english). Bob teed off but made a mess of
his shot and hit it way off target. Pong said "HARGER". Bob
asked Pong what this meant and Pong said "Wrong Hole".
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| Posted by Shane Gonz on 14-Aug-2005 | Vodo DickThere once was a guy that wanted to suprise his wife then tha
guy went to a mall when he got there he saw a guy with a chest
when he opened it he said vodo dick the elevator shaft then the
dick jumped up and fucked the elelvatorshaft then the guy stole
it then he said vode dick my ass then the dick fucked him so
hard he went out driving to tha hostpital while he was driving
he was stoped by a officer he said whats tha matter with u the
man said theres a vodo dick up my ass then the officer laughed
ou loud and said vodo dick my ass!
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| Posted by ryan j on 14-Aug-2005 | Hans SchmidtA man was walking down the street and noticed a sign reading "Hans
Schmidt's Chinese Laundry." Being of a curious nature, he entered and was
greeted by an obviously Chinese man who introduced himself as Hans Schmidt.
"How come you have a name like that?" inquired the stranger.
The Chinese gentleman explained in very broken English that when he landed
in America he was standing in the immigration line behind a German. When
asked his name, the German replied, "Hans Schmidt."
When the immigration officer asked the Chinese man his name, he replied,
"Sam Ting."
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| Posted by lady marmalade on 14-Aug-2005 | What's the Difference?I was sitting in a bar one time and I saw a Jewish man walk in
and sit down to have a drink. After a few drinks a Chinese man
came in and sat next to him. The Jewish man immediately turned
and punched the other man in the face.
The Chinese man shouted, "You fool! What was that for?" The
Jewish man replied, "That's for Pearl Harbor." Chinese man said,
"You idiot, I am Chinese not Japanese!" Jewish man replied,
"Chinese, Japanese, what's the difference?"
The Chinese man proceeded to punch the Jewish man in the face.
The Jewish man clutched his jaw and said angrily, "Owww, why did
you do that?!" The Chinese man replied, "That's for the
Titanic." Jewish man said, "But an iceberg caused it to sink,
not me!"
The Chinese man smiled and said, "Iceberg, Goldberg, what's the
difference!"
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| Posted by Nick Myster on 14-Aug-2005 | English man, Scottish man and a Paky manThere was an English man a Scottish man and a Paky man. They
were all in a plane that was about too crash into Mount
Everist.The pilot told them to throw out anything they didnt
need.
So the Scottish man threw out his Kilts and said "I dont
need them iv got plenty in my country".
The Paky man threw out
his fags and said "I dont need them iv got plenty in my
country".
The English man threw out the Paky and said "I dont
need him iv got plenty in my country".
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| Posted by Greenbean on 14-Aug-2005 | Indian Toilet PaperAn Indian walks into a 24/7 corner shop and asks for toilet
paper. The clerk asks if he would like No Name, Charmin, or
White Cloud.
"White Cloud sounds like good Indian toilet paper," says the
Indian. "How much is it?"
"$1.00 a roll," the clerk replies.
"That seems pretty expensive," responds the Indian. "What about
the others?"
"Charmin is $2.00 a roll and No Name is 50 cents a roll."
The Indian doesn't have much money so he opts for the no name.
The next day the indian is back at the 24/7. "I have a name for
the No Name toilet paper," he announces to the clerk. "We shall
call it John Wayne."
"Why?" asks the confused clerk.
"Cause it's rough and it's tough and it don't take no shit off
an Indian."
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| Posted by Bob John on 14-Aug-2005 | dinner table mannersone night david had a few geust over his boss and his wife. so
when they came over david introdused his son kenny. kenny said
hello and went to his spot at the table as they were eating
kenny burped and david said have you forgot your manners and
they kept eating on. kenny started to kick his feet and his dads
boss was on the other side of the table then he went to far and
kicked the boss then his dad said you stay still and eat your
dinner so kenny did. later kenny put his hand down and knoked
his juice over kenny's dad said"BOY YOU MAKE ONE GODDAMN THING
TO GET ME FROM LOSING MY FUCKIN RAISE I'LL KICK YOUR ASS TO
TIMBUKTWO YOU GOT THAT YOU PEICE OF SHIT" and kenny said fuckoff
with a reaction he didn't mean to say. then davids bos said hold
on you both need straiten out keep it up and i'll fire you and
send you to boot kamp for 20 years boy. so they settled down and
put the dishes away and cleaned up the mess. as davids boss went
to the living room david said if you go to your room and stay
there i'll act like this never happened so kenny did. they
turned on the t.v. and a chemerchial came up with jackie chan
talking about cherry condems and davids boss said me and my wife
have to go do some arrens goto the store and something at home
i'll talk to you about that raise toommorow youll be very
pleased tommorow. so david went up to kennys room and said you
try to piss me of in front oof a boss like that again youll hope
for more chemerchial of condems cherry flaverd.
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